Waiting

That's what I am doing at the moment - waiting to see how things are going to develop - and in the meantime just get on as best as I can with other things.

I feel much better after a good nights sleep - although my instinct is to batten down the hatches on anything social like the games and Tylers wedding because I just dont want to talk to people. However I am very happy to talk to the blog.

My immediate problem is the time for hospital visits. It will be OK today - but I am going to have to go direct from Russels Hall to Selly Oak to visit her if I can. Going home then going out again will be too disruptive. But it means long days. I may have to consider cutting back to 5 hours a day and leave at 3.30. I need to have some idea of how long she is going to be in for before I can make any long term plans.

Another concern is long term effects of the fracture. If it reduces her mobility even more staying at Fosters may be totally impossible. I need to know what the orthopaedic opinion is - which hopefully I will get today.

So I am waiting. Lots of 'what if' scenarios keep floating into my head and I can't help trying to formulate plans but I know that most of them are a waste of time until I know more.

I need to prioritise my concerns, and concentrate on what is needed most.

1) My health - I cant do diddly squat for anyone if I am not healthy so making time for excercise and meditation is vital.
2) Family life - another top priority. I need support from Tony and Steve (and Steve still needs some support from me)
3) Money - I dont need financial worries on top of everything else so I carry on working unless my health means it is unwise to do so.

Everything else is unimportant at the moment until Edna is out of hospital.

Am I being a wimp to consign everything else to the back burner? Well if I am too bad.

I am going to give myself a pat on the back for the way food went yesterday. Paul's rules are clearly well ingrained in my psyche now. I did a bit of comfort eating in bed last night ( a choclate biscuit and a cereal bar) But the rest of the day I never felt out of control of my food. I didnt do any formal excercise yesterday - but I think I will go for a walk this morning as I am feeling much more energetic.

Later

I went for a walk round the perimeter of the park. It was a lovely sunny day and I thoroughly enjoyed my half hour in the fresh air.

I decided I would record the activity on the Wii fit - and decided I would do the body test since logic said there was no way it could record a weight gain. I was delighted when it showed a 3ilb weight LOSS taking me down to 13st12lbs. And my Wiifit age came out at 29.

I know I am not defined by these figures - but they do affect how I feel about myself - and the boost has come at just the right for me.

Also this healthy reflection - which is so Paul McKenna has been posted at very helpful time for me

Life is like a marathon. We run and run, not knowing where (or how far) the finish line lies. We focus so intensely on prolonging the race but sometimes--despite our best efforts--the race is cut short. Too often we don't relish the path of and enjoy the details instead of just pounding the pavement of life. What personal boundaries can you expand to help you enjoy your life? Today meditate on the simple joys: a warm bath, reading a book to a sleepy toddler, or spending quality time with your family and friends. All of life contains bumps in the road such as losing your job or an unforeseen illness. But it is up to us to determine the quality of our lives. Remember, we don't always determine the distance, but we can determine the path.

I will determine my path.