Yesterday was quite busy so I didn't get the chance to post - mainly because I was out by 9.30 so the time I normally send blogging I spent doing breakfast and getting ready.
Tuesday went well. I enjoyed seeing Sally and Clare - and as it turned out John too. Nick gave me a massive hug too which surprised me. I didn't take any of the question paper to show him - but I did write up one of my cases and ask him to cast an eye over it to tell me if I am on the right track.
Tuesday night was the game - and the normal snackfest. And I did snack. But there was a pack of chocolate biscuits contributed by one of the players. Was I really hungry - well I was peckish ish. So I succumbed. But I only has two and I ate both of them slowly - and didn't feel deprived.
Eating slowly is getting easier. Drinking water is automatic to the point where I have realised I miss it when I don't have my glass beside me. I need to think about carrying a bottle with me when I go otu so I can carry on. Yesterday evening we were at Gill and Darrens and I only had about half the volume of liquid I would have drunk if I was at home - and this morning I feel as dry as a bone
Yesterday I went to meet Karen who will be my accountant once Pharmaccounts have filed my return for the the first year of my locum work. I got on well with her - and she gave me a wonderful reiki session which zonked me out. Which is why I didn't post an entry yesterday. In fact I didn't do anything else yesterday apart fromwatch tv, have a bath and go to Wolverhampton
I have realised I have got into a new habit in the mornings. I automatically do a bit of work in the kitchen like loading the dishwasher. Before I would have put it off but now its easier to do it straight away. I started doing it simply as something to do rather than sit down (move your body) and it has had the unexpected effect of making me feel better about the kitchen - and myself at the same time. In fact I feel better about myself on two levels. First I am being active, and second it makes me feel like a better housewife.
Tuning in this morning I feel tired and achey and a bit headachey - but that is almost certainly dehydration. However it could well be the beginnings of a cold as my eyes feel a bit heavy and I am bit sniffly with a dry tingly throat grrrr My mood is calm and motivated. My thoughts are I want to build on the progress I have made so far.
Tonight we are going to the Whispering Witch for the first time in far too long and nothing repeat NOTHING is going to get in the way of that. So today is a chill out day. I may do some work on the portfolio. I will definitely put in some serious meditation and self healing to deal with this cold.
I am hungry now though - which I wasn't when I started this entry - so my next move will be to sort out something to eat.
I must comment on something else tho. I have for some time NOT automatically turned on the radio when I go into the kitchen in the morning. Today I carried it one step further and the tv is still off. I am enjoying the silence.
Thursday 31 March 2011
Tuesday 29 March 2011
Climbing the mountain
'So today my plan is to do some serious work on my portfolio
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate'
I did everything except work on the portfolio - and my meditation was to blame. I saw a mountain - and realised I have a mountain to climb in terms of my recovery from surgery, my weight loss and my portfolio. And the clear message I got was 'take it slowly' No-one ever ran up a mountain - and they needed help on the way. The idea of 'slow and steady' was a recurring theme for about an hour yesterday in snippets that found me rather me going looking for them. I got the message. The idea of tuning in and doing what feels right whether it is eating exercise or study feels ....... errrr right!
And I am already reaping the rewards. I did really well both with drinking water - and slow eating. Also another thing that came out of the meditation was that I was able to visualise myself thinner and healthier.
I read other weight loss blogs and two of my regular ones had new posts today. My reaction to them was interesting. JackSh*t was talking about turning it up a notch - a very un Jack like attitude in some ways. 'Fit the the finish' Diane was talking about 'aha' moments when you realised you HAD to do something. I don't really like either bloggers approach to weight loss (portion control, work outs etc) . But they have both lost a lot of weight - in Di's case over 10st - so they can teach me something although my instinct was to reject the ideas they put forward ( Hmm - I appear to be being humble and respectful and living one of the reiki tenets) On thinking about it I have turned it up a notch over the past couple of days measured by the successes I mentioned in the previous paragraph. And yesterday was an 'aha' moment for me although not of the type Diane was thinking about - but then maybe she was hmmmm. So this is I think confirmation I am finally on the right track.
I did manage quite a bit of physical stuff yesterday. Laundry, shopping, walking, dishwasher, some gentle cleaning/tidying and 10 minutes on the wii fit (with a board that stopped working after 122 steps grrrr) But that was enough - I was tired and that was why I didnt do any work on my portfolio.
There is a message there I think .
Today I am going over to the Hypnotherapy college at lunchtime to meet up with a couple of friends who are on this weeks module. I am looking forward to it.
Today - my goal is to have a good and satisfying day. Because moving forward in my goals is satisfying I am not going to specify anything in particular. Watch this space tomorrow to se what I did
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate'
I did everything except work on the portfolio - and my meditation was to blame. I saw a mountain - and realised I have a mountain to climb in terms of my recovery from surgery, my weight loss and my portfolio. And the clear message I got was 'take it slowly' No-one ever ran up a mountain - and they needed help on the way. The idea of 'slow and steady' was a recurring theme for about an hour yesterday in snippets that found me rather me going looking for them. I got the message. The idea of tuning in and doing what feels right whether it is eating exercise or study feels ....... errrr right!
And I am already reaping the rewards. I did really well both with drinking water - and slow eating. Also another thing that came out of the meditation was that I was able to visualise myself thinner and healthier.
I read other weight loss blogs and two of my regular ones had new posts today. My reaction to them was interesting. JackSh*t was talking about turning it up a notch - a very un Jack like attitude in some ways. 'Fit the the finish' Diane was talking about 'aha' moments when you realised you HAD to do something. I don't really like either bloggers approach to weight loss (portion control, work outs etc) . But they have both lost a lot of weight - in Di's case over 10st - so they can teach me something although my instinct was to reject the ideas they put forward ( Hmm - I appear to be being humble and respectful and living one of the reiki tenets) On thinking about it I have turned it up a notch over the past couple of days measured by the successes I mentioned in the previous paragraph. And yesterday was an 'aha' moment for me although not of the type Diane was thinking about - but then maybe she was hmmmm. So this is I think confirmation I am finally on the right track.
I did manage quite a bit of physical stuff yesterday. Laundry, shopping, walking, dishwasher, some gentle cleaning/tidying and 10 minutes on the wii fit (with a board that stopped working after 122 steps grrrr) But that was enough - I was tired and that was why I didnt do any work on my portfolio.
There is a message there I think .
Today I am going over to the Hypnotherapy college at lunchtime to meet up with a couple of friends who are on this weeks module. I am looking forward to it.
Today - my goal is to have a good and satisfying day. Because moving forward in my goals is satisfying I am not going to specify anything in particular. Watch this space tomorrow to se what I did
Monday 28 March 2011
Good morning world! I can't say I feel as bouncy as that start implies - but despite feeling tired I do feel quite chipper this morning. Tuning in I feel OK physically although still sleepy and I am hungry. Emotionally I feel positive . My thoughts are focussing on getting some serious work done on my portfolio today.
I have decided that just as listening to my body is the key to getting my weight under control, its also the key to getting my activity levels right. I feel tired and I think I am pushing myself too fast into activity.
Or to put it another combine Beyond Chocolates 'tune in' with Paul's rules.
I did well yesterday with slowing down my eating, and my water intake is still well up on what it used to be. I now have a good focus on physical things. I need to get a better focus on mental and spiritual things.
So today my plan is to do some serious work on my portfolio
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate
I have decided that just as listening to my body is the key to getting my weight under control, its also the key to getting my activity levels right. I feel tired and I think I am pushing myself too fast into activity.
Or to put it another combine Beyond Chocolates 'tune in' with Paul's rules.
I did well yesterday with slowing down my eating, and my water intake is still well up on what it used to be. I now have a good focus on physical things. I need to get a better focus on mental and spiritual things.
So today my plan is to do some serious work on my portfolio
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate
Sunday 27 March 2011
Review of the week
'By the end of the week I want to
Take a walk in the park
Have done at least a third of the questions in the portfolio
Be drinking at least 4 glasses of water a day'
Well I did the first two - and I have started on my portfolio - but I only spent time on it on one day despite putting it on my to do list on at least 3 days.
Yesterday was a bad day. I didn't exercise - apart from doing some shopping. We didn't make the ghost hunt. Tony said he was tired - and to be honest so was I. My legs felt slightly jelly like and wobbly all day. I wouldn't have made it. But I am not sure if Tony really WAS tired - in which case I have been underestimating the effect of all this on him. Or did he realise I was being overoptimistic thinking I would manage and decide the easiest way to stop me going was to say he was tired too rather than try to persuade me. All I now is he was very grumpy and that made me grumpy too. He volunteered to go shopping with me because he was bored and wanted to get out. Either way I have to accept that he is being affected by my problems more than I realised. Something to think about.
But thinking about how I felt when I made my entry last Sunday compared to how I feel now, there has been an improvement. I don't feel as bloated and horrible as I did. My eating and drinking habits have been a lot better this week and I am feeling the benefits. Tuning in apart from the inevitable lower abdo discomfort (mild IBS plus a bit of constipation ) I feel OK. Emotionally I feel positive. OK yesterday was a dip but I am not letting it get me down and drive me into an orgy of comfort eating. Thought is 'I have made a good start now build on that'
I pushed myself too hard in the middle of the week because I wanted to get on the ghost hunt. I was also scared by the figure on the scales.So the lesson is build up gently. Going swimming and doing a long walk on the same day probably wasn't the best idea I have ever had. I managed it but I got overconfident as a result and pushed myself too hard on the days afterwards. So my goal for this week is to build u my wii fit sessions so by this time next week 30 minutes is in one go is possible. Note to self I will meet this goal as long as I can do 30 minutes in one go next Saturday. I don't have to do it today or tomorrow or even the day after.
My eating and drinking have been a lot healthier this week. My water intake is up to 1 litre a day even though I now only take 1 Sandocal a day. (Hooray my Calcium level came up) I started the week keeping a tumbler at my side - I now keep a pint glass at my side - and I am refilling it at least once a day. The main benefit I have seen form this is less snacking (a lot less snacking) and my bladder is better behaved . I am not getting up in the night to go to the loo. My bladder is getting used to holding larger amounts so it is beginning to co-operate with me again. Although I don't subscribe to the idea of detoxing, I know my kidneys will be working more efficiently with all the fluid I am giving them and that can't be a bad thing. However I don't feel bouncing with energy as a result, my skin isn't magically glowing , Water is very healthy - but not magical.
Am I tuning in before I eat anything? I start off well but it still falls apart later in the day. But this has been the pattern with my eating for ages now. I mange well with slow and mindful eating when I get up but it deteriorates throughout the day. I need to practice slow rating this week - so that will be another of my goals but lets set a number. I need to chew all food I put in my mouth at least 10 times.
So lets summarise my goals for this week
To be doing 30 minutes exercise in one go. This can be on the wii fit or outside
To move up from free step to exercises with a higher MET rating
To get outside in the fresh air at least once a day
To chew every mouthful of food at least 10 times
To do at least an hours work on the portfolio every day
To continue with my meditation and self healing
My goals for today are
to do 2 repetitons of step plus or rhythm parade
mow the front lawn
keep up with the drinking and other regular goals
I will get healthier, I will get fitter, I will love myself enogh to do this
Take a walk in the park
Have done at least a third of the questions in the portfolio
Be drinking at least 4 glasses of water a day'
Well I did the first two - and I have started on my portfolio - but I only spent time on it on one day despite putting it on my to do list on at least 3 days.
Yesterday was a bad day. I didn't exercise - apart from doing some shopping. We didn't make the ghost hunt. Tony said he was tired - and to be honest so was I. My legs felt slightly jelly like and wobbly all day. I wouldn't have made it. But I am not sure if Tony really WAS tired - in which case I have been underestimating the effect of all this on him. Or did he realise I was being overoptimistic thinking I would manage and decide the easiest way to stop me going was to say he was tired too rather than try to persuade me. All I now is he was very grumpy and that made me grumpy too. He volunteered to go shopping with me because he was bored and wanted to get out. Either way I have to accept that he is being affected by my problems more than I realised. Something to think about.
But thinking about how I felt when I made my entry last Sunday compared to how I feel now, there has been an improvement. I don't feel as bloated and horrible as I did. My eating and drinking habits have been a lot better this week and I am feeling the benefits. Tuning in apart from the inevitable lower abdo discomfort (mild IBS plus a bit of constipation ) I feel OK. Emotionally I feel positive. OK yesterday was a dip but I am not letting it get me down and drive me into an orgy of comfort eating. Thought is 'I have made a good start now build on that'
I pushed myself too hard in the middle of the week because I wanted to get on the ghost hunt. I was also scared by the figure on the scales.So the lesson is build up gently. Going swimming and doing a long walk on the same day probably wasn't the best idea I have ever had. I managed it but I got overconfident as a result and pushed myself too hard on the days afterwards. So my goal for this week is to build u my wii fit sessions so by this time next week 30 minutes is in one go is possible. Note to self I will meet this goal as long as I can do 30 minutes in one go next Saturday. I don't have to do it today or tomorrow or even the day after.
My eating and drinking have been a lot healthier this week. My water intake is up to 1 litre a day even though I now only take 1 Sandocal a day. (Hooray my Calcium level came up) I started the week keeping a tumbler at my side - I now keep a pint glass at my side - and I am refilling it at least once a day. The main benefit I have seen form this is less snacking (a lot less snacking) and my bladder is better behaved . I am not getting up in the night to go to the loo. My bladder is getting used to holding larger amounts so it is beginning to co-operate with me again. Although I don't subscribe to the idea of detoxing, I know my kidneys will be working more efficiently with all the fluid I am giving them and that can't be a bad thing. However I don't feel bouncing with energy as a result, my skin isn't magically glowing , Water is very healthy - but not magical.
Am I tuning in before I eat anything? I start off well but it still falls apart later in the day. But this has been the pattern with my eating for ages now. I mange well with slow and mindful eating when I get up but it deteriorates throughout the day. I need to practice slow rating this week - so that will be another of my goals but lets set a number. I need to chew all food I put in my mouth at least 10 times.
So lets summarise my goals for this week
To be doing 30 minutes exercise in one go. This can be on the wii fit or outside
To move up from free step to exercises with a higher MET rating
To get outside in the fresh air at least once a day
To chew every mouthful of food at least 10 times
To do at least an hours work on the portfolio every day
To continue with my meditation and self healing
My goals for today are
to do 2 repetitons of step plus or rhythm parade
mow the front lawn
keep up with the drinking and other regular goals
I will get healthier, I will get fitter, I will love myself enogh to do this
Friday 25 March 2011
My 'to do' list from yesterday was :-
Mow the lawn.It needs it and it will be more movement on top of the 30 minutes I have already done and it gets me out in the fresh air
Meditate and self heal.
Keep up with the water intake
Drink water every time I think i want something to eat and wait 20 minutes before I do eat anything
Do some work on my portfolio
Tune in EVERY time I think I want to eat something.
I didn't mow the lawn. I told Tony I was going to do it - and he did it instead - but I DID use the shears on the triffid by the back get. I also did 5 minutes jogging while Tony was on the wii fit so I had a timer.
I did meditate and self heal
I drank lots of water
I didnt do any work on my portfoilio because the time I planned to spend on the portfolio became ahem errrmm ....shall we say otherwise occupied? The kind of activity that left a smile on my face - and used up some calories too. OK I could have done some work on the portfolio later but Tony had first call on the pc to finish a story he was writing that is needed for today.
Did I tune in every time I ate something?Well I certainly didn't eat thoughtlessly.
We went over to see Darren and co last night - and it was so good to see them. It had been nearly 6 weeks. I managed the drive there and back ok - but I was very glad to leave much earlier than normal.
So I had a busy day yesterday - and today I know I have done it. So I am NOT doing anything heroic today. I am going to drink water - I have a pint glass instead of the tumbler I have been using and it is already half empty.
I have meditated and self healed
I am blogging - and that is part of my support process with my journey to ......wherever I am going. Lighter? Healthier? Fitter?
I suddenly thought of scrambled eggs on toast during my meditation so that is what I have just had for breakfast at 10.30 when I was up at 8.00, I wasn't really hungry before. But I ate it slowly and really enjoyed it. I still feel empty though whihc is worrying. The pint glass is empty as well so I don't think I can be thirsty. But I don't think it is physical hunger either.
I will do some work on my portfolio today - maybe. If I feel like it I will. If I don't I won't beat myself up about it.
I will eat mindfully, keep drinking lots of water, and relax
Mow the lawn.It needs it and it will be more movement on top of the 30 minutes I have already done and it gets me out in the fresh air
Meditate and self heal.
Keep up with the water intake
Drink water every time I think i want something to eat and wait 20 minutes before I do eat anything
Do some work on my portfolio
Tune in EVERY time I think I want to eat something.
I didn't mow the lawn. I told Tony I was going to do it - and he did it instead - but I DID use the shears on the triffid by the back get. I also did 5 minutes jogging while Tony was on the wii fit so I had a timer.
I did meditate and self heal
I drank lots of water
I didnt do any work on my portfoilio because the time I planned to spend on the portfolio became ahem errrmm ....shall we say otherwise occupied? The kind of activity that left a smile on my face - and used up some calories too. OK I could have done some work on the portfolio later but Tony had first call on the pc to finish a story he was writing that is needed for today.
Did I tune in every time I ate something?Well I certainly didn't eat thoughtlessly.
We went over to see Darren and co last night - and it was so good to see them. It had been nearly 6 weeks. I managed the drive there and back ok - but I was very glad to leave much earlier than normal.
So I had a busy day yesterday - and today I know I have done it. So I am NOT doing anything heroic today. I am going to drink water - I have a pint glass instead of the tumbler I have been using and it is already half empty.
I have meditated and self healed
I am blogging - and that is part of my support process with my journey to ......wherever I am going. Lighter? Healthier? Fitter?
I suddenly thought of scrambled eggs on toast during my meditation so that is what I have just had for breakfast at 10.30 when I was up at 8.00, I wasn't really hungry before. But I ate it slowly and really enjoyed it. I still feel empty though whihc is worrying. The pint glass is empty as well so I don't think I can be thirsty. But I don't think it is physical hunger either.
I will do some work on my portfolio today - maybe. If I feel like it I will. If I don't I won't beat myself up about it.
I will eat mindfully, keep drinking lots of water, and relax
Thursday 24 March 2011
Reality strikes
I weighed myself today. Over 15 stone - ouch. Still at least I now know where I am starting from. The question is how do I get things moving in the right direction. But maybe I need to work out why it started moving in the WRONG direction first.
Clearly ELMM became EMML - but what proportion of each was responsible? Was it just that I stopped jogging after the Race for life? Was it that mindful eating went by the board and 'eat what you want' became an excuse to eat anything? How much of it is now due to metabolic issues with my thyroxine levels?
I got out of the habit of exercising - and I need to get back into the habit of doing 30 minutes. I actually did do 30 minutes this morning 20 minutes of aerobics and 10 minutes of games and yoga.
So how did I do with yesterdays goals?
I walked to ROH and back - and I went swimming -about 20 minutes of activity
I meditated - but didnt do any self healing
I did the banking
I contacted the paymaster general about getting reports of my tax paid on my pension
I drank 4 glasses of eater slowly over the day.
I didnt get any work done on my portfolio tho. I felt wiped out by the swimming. And mindful eating /tuning in wasn't that successful either.
Today I have already had 3 glasses of water - and will do the same as yesterday and keep a glass with me at all times. I need to get into the habit of drinking some water when I think I feel hungry.
OK lets tune in now. I feel good - some slight lower abdominal discomfort but physically I feel better than I have done for a bit. I have had a bowl of cereal - but I still feel hungry. However is this real hunger? Mentally I feel positive - despite the reality check. Thought - I want to plan how to improve things.
So goals for today
Mow the lawn.It needs it and it will be more movement on top of the 30 minutes I have already done and it gets me out in the fresh air
Meditate and self heal.
Keep up with the water intake
Drink water every time I think i want something to eat and wait 20 minutes before I do eat anything
Do some work on my portfolio
Tune in EVERY time I think I want to eat something.
That sounds like a plan to me
Clearly ELMM became EMML - but what proportion of each was responsible? Was it just that I stopped jogging after the Race for life? Was it that mindful eating went by the board and 'eat what you want' became an excuse to eat anything? How much of it is now due to metabolic issues with my thyroxine levels?
I got out of the habit of exercising - and I need to get back into the habit of doing 30 minutes. I actually did do 30 minutes this morning 20 minutes of aerobics and 10 minutes of games and yoga.
So how did I do with yesterdays goals?
I walked to ROH and back - and I went swimming -about 20 minutes of activity
I meditated - but didnt do any self healing
I did the banking
I contacted the paymaster general about getting reports of my tax paid on my pension
I drank 4 glasses of eater slowly over the day.
I didnt get any work done on my portfolio tho. I felt wiped out by the swimming. And mindful eating /tuning in wasn't that successful either.
Today I have already had 3 glasses of water - and will do the same as yesterday and keep a glass with me at all times. I need to get into the habit of drinking some water when I think I feel hungry.
OK lets tune in now. I feel good - some slight lower abdominal discomfort but physically I feel better than I have done for a bit. I have had a bowl of cereal - but I still feel hungry. However is this real hunger? Mentally I feel positive - despite the reality check. Thought - I want to plan how to improve things.
So goals for today
Mow the lawn.It needs it and it will be more movement on top of the 30 minutes I have already done and it gets me out in the fresh air
Meditate and self heal.
Keep up with the water intake
Drink water every time I think i want something to eat and wait 20 minutes before I do eat anything
Do some work on my portfolio
Tune in EVERY time I think I want to eat something.
That sounds like a plan to me
Wednesday 23 March 2011
"Increase the water to 4 glasses
Finish clearing the patio and take a walk outside as well as doing some work on the wii fit
Deal with paperwork issues - the forms for the hospice, the forms so I can join the bank at ROH that sort of thing.
Meditate/self heal
Continue tuning in at regular intervals"
I managed the 4 glasses of water, once I realised I could count the water I have with my medicines. Three effervescent tablets a day maybe does have some advantage after all. However I really REALLY hope that I can cut it down to one effervescent tablet a day at the end of the week. However as long as I drink a whole glass of water with my tablets that does give me a head start.But my strategy of keeping a glass by side is working.
The patio is clear of leaves, I walked to the post box to post the forms for my volunteer work at the hospice and I did 10 minutes free step and 3 minutes step basics. But it was touch and go if I did the walk. I felt wobbly legged after the workout and the patio clearing.
I did the paperwork
I ate fairly mindfully. I still eat my evening meal far too fast tho. But my biscuit count was way down. I feel so pleased. But I am really thinking 'am I really hungry' and 'what do I really want to eat'
I meditated and did some self healing.
Tuning in now I am tired, feel a little bloated but hungry at the same time. I also have some lower abdominal discomfort. Mentally I feel calm . Emotionally feel positive and confident. 'Can do' best sums it up. Should I be worried that I haven't weighed myself? Should I do a body test or step on the scales? I don't know. Have I really got the bottom of why I haven't got on top of my weight issues yet? I'm not sure . Does that matter at the moment? Clearly not or I would be doing more about it. I am taking the actions I need to take at the moment and I think my priority is to maximise my chances of doing the things I need to do rather than trying to understand why it has been a problem in the past.
So what are my goals for today?
Water up to 5 glasses ( 2 down 3 to go)
I am going swimming today and I want to try and stay in for 20 minutes.
Take the forms to ROH to start the process of getting me on to the bank and to walk there and back.
Continue with my meditation and self healing.
Do some more on my portfolio for the hypnotherapy course
Do some banking
Ring the pensions people to get a copy of my pay and tax - my accountants appear to have LOST the copy I sent them and sadly I didnt think to take a photocopy of it.
Pay for the table Krsytalwolf are going to have at the Birmingham and Black Country Parafest
Wow - thats a lot . But this is the sort of pace I need to be working at.
Finish clearing the patio and take a walk outside as well as doing some work on the wii fit
Deal with paperwork issues - the forms for the hospice, the forms so I can join the bank at ROH that sort of thing.
Meditate/self heal
Continue tuning in at regular intervals"
I managed the 4 glasses of water, once I realised I could count the water I have with my medicines. Three effervescent tablets a day maybe does have some advantage after all. However I really REALLY hope that I can cut it down to one effervescent tablet a day at the end of the week. However as long as I drink a whole glass of water with my tablets that does give me a head start.But my strategy of keeping a glass by side is working.
The patio is clear of leaves, I walked to the post box to post the forms for my volunteer work at the hospice and I did 10 minutes free step and 3 minutes step basics. But it was touch and go if I did the walk. I felt wobbly legged after the workout and the patio clearing.
I did the paperwork
I ate fairly mindfully. I still eat my evening meal far too fast tho. But my biscuit count was way down. I feel so pleased. But I am really thinking 'am I really hungry' and 'what do I really want to eat'
I meditated and did some self healing.
Tuning in now I am tired, feel a little bloated but hungry at the same time. I also have some lower abdominal discomfort. Mentally I feel calm . Emotionally feel positive and confident. 'Can do' best sums it up. Should I be worried that I haven't weighed myself? Should I do a body test or step on the scales? I don't know. Have I really got the bottom of why I haven't got on top of my weight issues yet? I'm not sure . Does that matter at the moment? Clearly not or I would be doing more about it. I am taking the actions I need to take at the moment and I think my priority is to maximise my chances of doing the things I need to do rather than trying to understand why it has been a problem in the past.
So what are my goals for today?
Water up to 5 glasses ( 2 down 3 to go)
I am going swimming today and I want to try and stay in for 20 minutes.
Take the forms to ROH to start the process of getting me on to the bank and to walk there and back.
Continue with my meditation and self healing.
Do some more on my portfolio for the hypnotherapy course
Do some banking
Ring the pensions people to get a copy of my pay and tax - my accountants appear to have LOST the copy I sent them and sadly I didnt think to take a photocopy of it.
Pay for the table Krsytalwolf are going to have at the Birmingham and Black Country Parafest
Wow - thats a lot . But this is the sort of pace I need to be working at.
Tuesday 22 March 2011
"Today my goals are
10 minutes on the wii fit
Clear the patio of leaves
Spend 30 minutes meditating/self treating
Make a start on my portfolio
Really tune in and dceide what I want to eat before I actually eat anything
Drink at least 2 glasses of water"
I actually did manage to do most of that. 13 minutes on the wii fit, but the patio only got half cleared. Everything else I did. The tuning in was effective. I only ate 2 biscuits yesterday. My only real slip foodwise was tortilla chips during the game.
Tuning in this morning I feel tired still, and I am aware of slight lower abdominal discomfort, but I don't feel bloated the way I did yesterday. I have slowly eaten a couple of slices of toast for breakfast and I have a glass of water buy me as I did all day yesterday. Interestingly instead of having coffee as my first hot drink, I went for decaffeinated tea with lemon instead of milk. I am still hungry but I will finish the water before I head for the kitchen again. Mentally I am optimistic. I am optimistic that my health will improve, and I am optimistic about the future. Sudden;y things are coming right for us. I may have my first proper paying reiki client, I am inexorably moving closer to starting as a volunteer at the hospice, we are booked at two psychic events as stall holders, and Tony is getting more writing work via Darren. he is now doing game reviews. OK they are unpaid - but it is getting his name known. Is it coincidence that all this has started AFTER my operation? I don't think so.
So what are my goals for today?
Increase the water to 4 glasses
Finish clearing the patio and take a walk outside as well as doing some work on the wii fit
Deal with paperwork issues - the forms for the hospice, the forms so I can join the bank at ROH that sort of thing.
Meditate/self heal
Continue tuning in at regular intervals.
I was surprised how tired I felt doing the leaf clearing yesterday - so I am NOT going to risk pushing myself too fast or too hard - but I do want to push myself enough. Its tricky getting the balance right - but I am sure if I trust my instincts I will get things right.
10 minutes on the wii fit
Clear the patio of leaves
Spend 30 minutes meditating/self treating
Make a start on my portfolio
Really tune in and dceide what I want to eat before I actually eat anything
Drink at least 2 glasses of water"
I actually did manage to do most of that. 13 minutes on the wii fit, but the patio only got half cleared. Everything else I did. The tuning in was effective. I only ate 2 biscuits yesterday. My only real slip foodwise was tortilla chips during the game.
Tuning in this morning I feel tired still, and I am aware of slight lower abdominal discomfort, but I don't feel bloated the way I did yesterday. I have slowly eaten a couple of slices of toast for breakfast and I have a glass of water buy me as I did all day yesterday. Interestingly instead of having coffee as my first hot drink, I went for decaffeinated tea with lemon instead of milk. I am still hungry but I will finish the water before I head for the kitchen again. Mentally I am optimistic. I am optimistic that my health will improve, and I am optimistic about the future. Sudden;y things are coming right for us. I may have my first proper paying reiki client, I am inexorably moving closer to starting as a volunteer at the hospice, we are booked at two psychic events as stall holders, and Tony is getting more writing work via Darren. he is now doing game reviews. OK they are unpaid - but it is getting his name known. Is it coincidence that all this has started AFTER my operation? I don't think so.
So what are my goals for today?
Increase the water to 4 glasses
Finish clearing the patio and take a walk outside as well as doing some work on the wii fit
Deal with paperwork issues - the forms for the hospice, the forms so I can join the bank at ROH that sort of thing.
Meditate/self heal
Continue tuning in at regular intervals.
I was surprised how tired I felt doing the leaf clearing yesterday - so I am NOT going to risk pushing myself too fast or too hard - but I do want to push myself enough. Its tricky getting the balance right - but I am sure if I trust my instincts I will get things right.
Monday 21 March 2011
IK so here I sit having been up for 90 minutes, but still yawning. Doing a beyond chocolate scan, physically I am tired, I feel bloated and am aware of slight heartburn. But I also feel hungry. Emotionally I feel positive and the thought in my mind is 'OK what I can do to improve things'
I am in 'can do' mood today - but I am frightened of overdoing things physically. I was shocked how tiring I found it just sitting at the study day yesterday.
What can I do that I know will boost my energy?
I had a very carb heavy diet yesterday - especially as we had pizza for dinner so I think a day with fewer carbs could be a good idea. I need to tune in and decide what I really fancy for breakfast. I think I also need a bit of detox so I know I need to drink more water LOTS more water
On the principal that the more you do the more you are able to do I need to keep going with exercise. I can't let fear stop me from doing any. But although my hear would like to take a stroll to the park, my head is saying thats a bit too far at the moment. I might have problems getting back. But what I can do is do 10 minutes on the wii fit now - and another 10 minutes later in the day. I also noticed yesterday that the patio needed clearing so I could do that and get out in the fresh air.
I could do some self treatment with reiki. That would serve a dual purpose as I tend to meditate while self treating and I am sure I would get some useful insights .
I know one reason why I am feeling lethargic is becasue I feel I am not making good use of my time so making time for meditation, and getting started on my hypnotherapy portfolio would both be good mental bossters.
All these are achievable. So lets set myself some goals both for today, and for where I wont to be by the end of the week.
Today my goals are
10 minutes on the wii fit
Clear the patio of leaves
Spend 30 minutes meditating/self treating
Make a start on my portfolio
Really tune in and dceide what I want to eat before I actually eat anything
Drink at least 2 glasses of water
By the end of the week I want to
Take a walk in the park
Have done at least a third of the questions in the portfolio
Be drinking at least 4 glasses of water a day
We are booked on a ghost hunt on Saturday night. I really can't see me making ti at the moment - but I really WOULD like to if I can.
I am in 'can do' mood today - but I am frightened of overdoing things physically. I was shocked how tiring I found it just sitting at the study day yesterday.
What can I do that I know will boost my energy?
I had a very carb heavy diet yesterday - especially as we had pizza for dinner so I think a day with fewer carbs could be a good idea. I need to tune in and decide what I really fancy for breakfast. I think I also need a bit of detox so I know I need to drink more water LOTS more water
On the principal that the more you do the more you are able to do I need to keep going with exercise. I can't let fear stop me from doing any. But although my hear would like to take a stroll to the park, my head is saying thats a bit too far at the moment. I might have problems getting back. But what I can do is do 10 minutes on the wii fit now - and another 10 minutes later in the day. I also noticed yesterday that the patio needed clearing so I could do that and get out in the fresh air.
I could do some self treatment with reiki. That would serve a dual purpose as I tend to meditate while self treating and I am sure I would get some useful insights .
I know one reason why I am feeling lethargic is becasue I feel I am not making good use of my time so making time for meditation, and getting started on my hypnotherapy portfolio would both be good mental bossters.
All these are achievable. So lets set myself some goals both for today, and for where I wont to be by the end of the week.
Today my goals are
10 minutes on the wii fit
Clear the patio of leaves
Spend 30 minutes meditating/self treating
Make a start on my portfolio
Really tune in and dceide what I want to eat before I actually eat anything
Drink at least 2 glasses of water
By the end of the week I want to
Take a walk in the park
Have done at least a third of the questions in the portfolio
Be drinking at least 4 glasses of water a day
We are booked on a ghost hunt on Saturday night. I really can't see me making ti at the moment - but I really WOULD like to if I can.
Sunday 20 March 2011
New life new plan?
I went to a hypnotherapy study day today. The first time I have spent a whole day out since coming home. I enjoyed it but I am very tired now. The study day was about substance misuse - and as ever what we learned forced us to look at our own lives - which is not always comfortable. A lot of it was about Alcohol misuse - which inevitably took me back to memories of Alan. This was definitely not comfortable for me especially as I had very disturbing dreams about Alan this morning.
As I sit here typing this I feel bloated and full. I ate too much last night at Maggie's birthday meal, and today I have eaten too many biscuits. I also ate too much pizza tonight. I decided to order in rather than cook as I was so tired when I got home/
One of the things that was discussed today on the study day was how humans beings are almost designed to relapse when they try to change their behaviour. Another of things that was discussed was that substance misusers cannot change their behaviour until they are ready to, until they admit they have a problem, until they honestly recognise what they do and why they do it.
I am NOT comparing my weight issues with substance misuse - but there clearly are behaviours I need to change if I am to lose weight, and maybe I can;t change them until I explore what I get from them - and any secondary gain I get form being overweight.
I do definitely feel that I never want to sit here feeling like this again. I dont hate myself - I just feel so uncomfortable.
I have started to see my operation as drawing a line under my old life and giving me the chance to start a new one. I also feel life without a thyroid is going to be less healthy than life with, so it feels as if there is a greater urgency to deal with my weight issues. This is in part because the BP readings I had yesterday scared me.
I need to exercise more and I need to weigh less. So I need to honestly identify what behaviour I indulge in that stops me losing weight. I also need to do my best to increase my exercise and not be scared
I don't have a plan - yet
As I sit here typing this I feel bloated and full. I ate too much last night at Maggie's birthday meal, and today I have eaten too many biscuits. I also ate too much pizza tonight. I decided to order in rather than cook as I was so tired when I got home/
One of the things that was discussed today on the study day was how humans beings are almost designed to relapse when they try to change their behaviour. Another of things that was discussed was that substance misusers cannot change their behaviour until they are ready to, until they admit they have a problem, until they honestly recognise what they do and why they do it.
I am NOT comparing my weight issues with substance misuse - but there clearly are behaviours I need to change if I am to lose weight, and maybe I can;t change them until I explore what I get from them - and any secondary gain I get form being overweight.
I do definitely feel that I never want to sit here feeling like this again. I dont hate myself - I just feel so uncomfortable.
I have started to see my operation as drawing a line under my old life and giving me the chance to start a new one. I also feel life without a thyroid is going to be less healthy than life with, so it feels as if there is a greater urgency to deal with my weight issues. This is in part because the BP readings I had yesterday scared me.
I need to exercise more and I need to weigh less. So I need to honestly identify what behaviour I indulge in that stops me losing weight. I also need to do my best to increase my exercise and not be scared
I don't have a plan - yet
Thursday 17 March 2011
Lack of exercise
I didn't use the wii fit yesterday. I pottered and did some very light house work. Emptying the dishwasher and putting away the vegetable box contents. As I have been doing for some days I aslo fed the cats and got my breakfast. My legs felt very shaky after that so I didn't do much more apart from sit down after that.
I want and need to move more for all sorts of reasons. And to an extent I need to move more to build up my stamina. This is really beginning to bug me. I need to see if there is any advice on line anywhere about how to build up stamina after an operation.
I am starting to get stir crazy. I need to get out beyond these four walls. I think I will try an persuade Tony to come shopping with me. Just a short drive to the supermarket and a gentle walk round.
I want and need to move more for all sorts of reasons. And to an extent I need to move more to build up my stamina. This is really beginning to bug me. I need to see if there is any advice on line anywhere about how to build up stamina after an operation.
I am starting to get stir crazy. I need to get out beyond these four walls. I think I will try an persuade Tony to come shopping with me. Just a short drive to the supermarket and a gentle walk round.
Wednesday 16 March 2011
Life after surgery
Its the first time since my operation I have felt energetic enough to blog. I guess that must be a good sign. Also on re-reading my last entries I see I didnt record the fiasco about my booking at the Orthopedic hospital which means I don't have an easy prospect for work when I am recovered from surgery.
The title of my blog feels very appropriate at the moment because things ARE changing a lot at the moment.
My operation went well but I was in hospital for 5 days in the end. My calcium levels dropped and I needed 3 infusions to get them back up. This is a known side effect of having your thyroid out - but my parathyroid hormone levels have also dropped. This could be because my parathyroid gland has been either partially or totally removed along with my thyroid. If its only partially removed my extra problems are only temporary. If its totally gone then as well as Thyroxine I will be on Alfacalcidol and Calcium supplements for life too. I will be on Sandocal and Alfacalcidol for at least 6 months - and I am already fed up of a very embarrassing side effect of the Sandocal - flatulence. The smelly sort I still dont know if I will need radio iodine. I will find out on April 18th.
So my new life is one filled with medication
My owrk situation is very unclear. The hospital had to let me go after HCL made it plain they wabted a finders fee of 20,000 if I worked there through another agency within 6 months (reduced to one month later) Emmeline wants me to join their bankbut I haven't felt up to tackling the paperwork - including another CRB check. I also need to find find proff of my final salary so I can be employed at top of 8a scale. Otherwise I will be on 7 - and it wont be worthwhile. But Spire have given me a selection of dates already so I will have some work. Plus I can go back to the Orthopedic with my other agency.
My CRB check has come through for the hospice so I can finally get that sorted out and become a proper reiki practitioner actually giving reiki. Plus Karl and Shaz are running a weekend ghost fest in Alcester in September and we have already been approached by them to help out - so we may well get a chance to actually do some PAID work.
I have very little energy at the moment so exercise is out of the question. And I am worried about what all this is doing to my weight and general health. I am also acutely aware that replacing a missing gland (or 2) with synthetic analogues isn't going to be as efficient as natural hormones. I have no idea what it will do to my metabolism and how my whole body works. I could be in for a trying time as I get used to how my body and metabolism works. But I am convinced that sticking to Paul's golden rules is the best way to avoid disaster. All I have to do is stick to them - which I know isn't always as easy to do as to say.
One of the bloggers I follow had a rant the other day about the ELMM nightmare. How 'eat less and move more' isn't necessarily the answer. ELMM is sort of the core of Paul's plan. But moving more isn't one of the 4 main rules. Its an extra. I guess the problem is that eating less means you feel deprived. Paul's rules should mean you eat what your body needs without feeling deprived. I don't feel I am one the bloggers 'New me fresh start' is ranting at ......I hope.
I am wondering about trying 10 minutes on the wii fit today. I should be able to manage it - but the interesting thing is how I will feel afterwards. Watch this space.........
The title of my blog feels very appropriate at the moment because things ARE changing a lot at the moment.
My operation went well but I was in hospital for 5 days in the end. My calcium levels dropped and I needed 3 infusions to get them back up. This is a known side effect of having your thyroid out - but my parathyroid hormone levels have also dropped. This could be because my parathyroid gland has been either partially or totally removed along with my thyroid. If its only partially removed my extra problems are only temporary. If its totally gone then as well as Thyroxine I will be on Alfacalcidol and Calcium supplements for life too. I will be on Sandocal and Alfacalcidol for at least 6 months - and I am already fed up of a very embarrassing side effect of the Sandocal - flatulence. The smelly sort I still dont know if I will need radio iodine. I will find out on April 18th.
So my new life is one filled with medication
My owrk situation is very unclear. The hospital had to let me go after HCL made it plain they wabted a finders fee of 20,000 if I worked there through another agency within 6 months (reduced to one month later) Emmeline wants me to join their bankbut I haven't felt up to tackling the paperwork - including another CRB check. I also need to find find proff of my final salary so I can be employed at top of 8a scale. Otherwise I will be on 7 - and it wont be worthwhile. But Spire have given me a selection of dates already so I will have some work. Plus I can go back to the Orthopedic with my other agency.
My CRB check has come through for the hospice so I can finally get that sorted out and become a proper reiki practitioner actually giving reiki. Plus Karl and Shaz are running a weekend ghost fest in Alcester in September and we have already been approached by them to help out - so we may well get a chance to actually do some PAID work.
I have very little energy at the moment so exercise is out of the question. And I am worried about what all this is doing to my weight and general health. I am also acutely aware that replacing a missing gland (or 2) with synthetic analogues isn't going to be as efficient as natural hormones. I have no idea what it will do to my metabolism and how my whole body works. I could be in for a trying time as I get used to how my body and metabolism works. But I am convinced that sticking to Paul's golden rules is the best way to avoid disaster. All I have to do is stick to them - which I know isn't always as easy to do as to say.
One of the bloggers I follow had a rant the other day about the ELMM nightmare. How 'eat less and move more' isn't necessarily the answer. ELMM is sort of the core of Paul's plan. But moving more isn't one of the 4 main rules. Its an extra. I guess the problem is that eating less means you feel deprived. Paul's rules should mean you eat what your body needs without feeling deprived. I don't feel I am one the bloggers 'New me fresh start' is ranting at ......I hope.
I am wondering about trying 10 minutes on the wii fit today. I should be able to manage it - but the interesting thing is how I will feel afterwards. Watch this space.........
Wednesday 2 March 2011
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