Law of sttraction

Today one of the stories on the news is about the uSA lottery. One ticket has one over $500,000 . Wow what would I do with that sort of money. I used that story - and the fact that most people will start playing' what if' - to get my FB group to do visualisation . I was sneaky really. I started by asking them to play what if then asked them if they could see themselves accepting the cheque, how they looked......then got them to try and see how they had imagined themselves. I have been thinking a lot about the Law of Attraction over the past couple of days. Marie has lent me the CD all about it. I think she is hoping it will magically transform me!!! In fact what I have head so far is a more guru-ish cultist version of what I learned in CYLI7D and through my hypnotherapy training. I was rather reminded of the mantra of the satanist ;Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law' And that has a very dark aspect to it. I am sure the universe must impose limits. There is no doubt our thoughts are very powerful - and for that reason we need to be disciplined in our thought and think usefully and resourcefully. My resolution this year was to be the best me I can be. What does that mean? Can I tighten up on that and use it as a springboard to think more resourcefully about the areas of my life where I seem to be blocked. I think I am clear what I want, but maybe I need to focus more. I was cringing while I listened to Marie's CD - but it did get me thinking about how the Law of Attraction is supposed to work and whether I am using it as effectively as I could. This is life coaching 101 territory really. Reality is what we think it is. reality id what we experience through our senses and in our brains. How ww think affects how we feel and act. So how does this link in the first paragraph I wrote? Well for me what Marie doesn't get about the Law of Attraction is that is isn't just about wanting and believing. The want and belief need to be inline with our self image that reflects ones TRUE self. Changing self image is one of they key things to do with someone who wants to slim down - and I try to get them to do it with visualisation. Then they need to step into and EXPERIENCE it not just stand outside it. Tats the bit I don't think Marie gets. I wish I understood why Marie has been drawn into my life. It is the law of attraction in action . I suspect it is to teach me something - maybe HOW to teach??

Yesterday I walked........LOTS. Leafletting is very good exercise. And as it was a lovely warm and sunny day it was quite enjoyable. Food yesterday wasn't too bad - but I did hit the biscuits a bit. However I drank LOADS of water during circle. This morning I am aware of my IBS still - which is disappointing because last night it had gone. However last night my inflammation/cystitis issue was at full tilt - and this morning it seems to have gone. Wwll I guess you can't have it all. I have made my lunch for work - and I am wondering if we may have problems at work if some people have to come a long way and can't get fuel. Thats not a nice thought. This phoney fuel crisis is ridiculous. Tanker drivers MAY go on strike, so the PM suggest it might be an idea to make sure your car is topped up - in case. This ignores the fact that they have to give a weeks notice of the strike anyway. As of this morning the earliest the strike can happen is 11 days time. People have gone crazy. I am just glad I don't use the car much. But I do have to get to Stratford on Saturday night for the ghost hunt. If I had to I could manage without a car. It would be inconvenient - but not disastrous. Now 4 years ago I couldn't have said that because walking was still a major issue - and walking to and from work every day wasn't a realistic option. My life rally HAS changed a lot now I think about it. How much of that has been external forces and how much has been by my design? Now there is an interesting thought. Over the long term it has mainly been external forces - but I believe they have pushed me in the right direction . Over the short term the changes are much more directed by me and my actions. I am heating a healthy diet on the whole. I am getting much more regular exercise than I used to with swimming and walking. I am a very different person to who I was when I started this blog nearly 4 years ago. I started it originally to be a replacement for the 90 day diary that cam with I can make you thin. Now my life is in much better order than it was then, and now I am so much happier than I was then. Does this mean this blog needs to change its focus? Does this blog serve any purpose now? Maybe its time to close this one and start a new one................... something to think about.

Today is reiki day up at the salon - to be honest it will probably be a dat spent delivering leaflets - but that is at least good exercise. I am feeling better than I was yesterday. Tony and I went up to Northfield and ended up having a meal at Judy's cafe so I didn't have to cook last night. We had an enjoyable evening roleplaying with Paul. Tony has also got over his grumps. So this morning I still have IBS, I still have discomfort sitting but I am mentally and emotionally more bouyant. I need to do some self healing. I haven't done enough of that. I am also wondering why I am hesitating about stopping my volunteer work at the hospice. It is clearly too much for me. I am hesitating because I am not sure if the problems are real or imaginary. the tiredness comes from stress about what I think may be the situation, rather than from what the situation is. The system is poorly organised tho - and that always bugs me. I did hit a ow point yesterday - but I think that was due to physical issues - not helped by various emotional issues. But to be honest the emotional issues may well be more in my mind. Something for me to think about there. Since I may well have some quiet time at the salon that will give me something to do today as well as (or while ) delivering leaflets. I didn't respond to yesterdays problems with food tho. I did have a couple of biscuits - and the meal at the cafe wasn't exactly the healthiest (pie chips and vegetables followed by chocolate cheese cake) But I was eating when I was hungry, eating what I wanted and eating slowly. I didn;t leave any food on my plate tho. But I did move my body with the swimming and the walk But today I am determined to make positive progress. And Marie should be round tonight so we have a nice spiritual evening to look forward to........

A low point

As I type this I SHOULD be getting ready to give reiki at the pamper day at the hospice. But I feeling rather rough. I was fine until I went swimming and then suddenly I felt a bit down and my IBS seemed to be more of a problem and the thought of being at the hospice suddenly seemed too much to cope with. So instead of heading off to Solihull I headed home. I really didn't WANT to be at the hospice. I want to give reiki but for some reason today the procedures and processes at the hospice - and dealing with Jean just seem too much. Why am I feeling like this? Yesterday work went OK, but I did have a stressful end with a a rather heated discussion with a nurse from the Day Unit over their attempt to get round pharmacy procedures. I felt railroaded into giving in, largely because I wasn't entirely sure how management would react. I am never sure whether Maurenn will support her staff when they make a stand. Luckily when I told Pam what had happened she agreed that what they were trying to do was incorrect. Then this morning when Tony woke up he was down because he got no calls last night and was saying he didn't know what to do about working at the tv channel. Then when we were swimming Maggie and I ended up talking about Betty, Sheila, Tony;s past, his relationship with Sheila................... Plus the pool was full of school kids, and VERY noisy with quite a few adult swimmers all crowded into about 2/3 of the pool. Then there is Jane and her diagnosis of AF and the warfarin saga. It seems to have highlighted what I feel is the bad relationship I have with her. All in all I had a lot of issues rattling around in my brain that were pulling me down. OK doing a tune in I am very aware of my IBS, emotionally I feel down, I feel physically tired. I need to do some self healing. I have spent so much time and effort helping other people, that I have been forgetting about me. The water is heating for a bath as I type this. I did meditate this morning before I went out. I think I will have a self healing session and see if that helps. But I am sure I am right where I am meant to be at the moment. What I do have to work out is if the problems I feel I have with people are real - or all in my head

This morning I was very productive in the kitchen with my new routine of NOT sitting down with a coffee as soon as I have fed the cats. I have been doing this for some months now and it is totally automatic and I am SO much more productive in the mornings. (Yes honestly I have been even though my blogging on here wasn't that regular! But that is now also becoming more regular as a result of that very small change I made) It just goes to show how small changes CAN make a big difference. It gives me hpe that one day it will pay dividends in my silhouette!!! I know I have slimmed down. My bra size is smaller, and some clothes are looser. Its just at the moment I feel bloated because my IBS is still in full on phase. This is a bad attack - over a week. But the cystitis issue seems to have receded. Yesterday was a really good food day. No biscuits no sweets only a shared pack from the graze box. OK I did take a snack to bed - but it was a soft cereal bar filled with fruit. OK I didn't use the wii fit - but I did walk a lot during the day.And I still ache from my weekend efforts. On average I am up on my exercise over the past few days. Tuning in I am aware of my guts I am emotionally calm - and I am asking myself 'what can I do today to advance the business? I have sent Jessica a 'business' type text suggesting she join our FB group and follow us on twitter. So that means I need to keep both updated. We also need to get email addresses from our clients. Overall I am feeling incredibly positive - even though work at the Orthopaedic is driving me up the wall.

Planning a good day

This morning instead of listening to the radio when I woke up, I lay in silence and did visualisations. I visualised myself slimmer, and I visualised my day going well. And so far so good. I have posted on my FB group - and two people have read and liked my post. I have also recorded a CD for Chris. I am eating a healthy breakfast slowly (I have to say Friday's choking fit is encouraging me to chew my food more thoroughly) I have drunk water Tuning in I am aware of IBS discomfort, but I have taken Movicol. I am aware of discomfort and slight inflammation 'down there' - the problem that gives me a cystitis type feeling. I need to sort this out. I shouldn't feel like this. Thank goodness its warmer so skirts are on my clothes agenda rather than trousers. But really I should NOT be putting up with discomfort when sitting down or lying in bed. So physically could be better. Mentally I am alert of enthusiastic. Emotionally I am buoyant. Things are looking good for us and I feel we have some momentum we can build on. My lunch is crispbreads, pastrami and some salad, with an apple for afters. (I packed it for Friday but didn't eat it in the end) I haven't meditated but if I move NOW I have time to fit something in...................

Yesterday was a good day. I delivered leaflets with Tony, I mowed the lawn, I bought a new lawn mower with Steve which we are going to share between the two houses. And I didn't do ANY snacking!! I had breakfast - then went out. then I mowed the lawn, went out with Steve, tries to build the new lawn mower (Steve did it in the end) while having lunch of crusty bead and some smoked mackerel. Then I had a bath while Steve and Tony used the Xbox. Then we chatted and finally got the takeaway (chineese) whihc I ate with great enjoyment - but couldn't eat all of it. And I went o bed still feeling full and didn't take my normal snack of cheese and biscuits with me I have put on a top that used to be quite snug on me and tis loose. I haven't worn it and washed it a lot so it hasn't shrunk. This morning I have been swimming - and have agreed we will give the gym a go next time Margaret and I meet up. I have had a banana when I cam back from swimming, and a bowl of cereal a couple of hours later after doing some cooking. Home made soup to use up some old beetroot. So I have a couple of healthy lunches for work. I feel really motivated and upbeat - although I am tired and my body clock is all over the place with the start of BST. Tony has had some more requests for private readings - so even though 886 has been a bit quiet the last couple of times he logged on he is doing OK. I have no intention of using the wii fit - an hours swimming is enough exercise for today. But I ma hungry now as I type this so I will go and make myself something proper to eat rather than reach for the biscuit tin.

I have just posted in my FB group about the importance of visualising not only how you will look when you have reached your goal, but also visualising your day going well. My mentoring posts on FB and ym blogging on here are both important strategies in helping me do that. So lest ut it down in black and white. What will I look like when I reach my goal? Well I will be a size 16. OK at 5"2" thats still quite large - but I am big busted - and nothing is going to alter that. Do I have an image of how I will look? Yes. I see myself in jeans or trousers with real curves - but much smaller round the hips than I am now. So what about today? What is on my agenda. I need to go and pick up a parcel that wouldn't g through the letter box. It arrived while Tony was going his reading yesterday. I need to do some shopping - and I do need to deliver some leaflets. I am going to focus on exercising by going jobs today, That could be the leaflets or straining the new doors upstairs - but I think the leaflets are more urgent. I haven't had breakfast yet I am not really hungry - but I must eat before I go out. But I don;t know what I want. My IBS is still in play, I have had to resort to Movicol, and I feel fat and bloated - which tends to put me off food a bit. I have been drinking LOADS tho. I just can't decide what I really WANT to eat at the moment I know the meal tonight will be a takeaway to celebrate Steve's success. Probably pizza. But that is tonight and I will need to eat between breakfast and dinner. .........hmmmmm........ I reminded my group that failing to plan meant planning to fail. And I suggested the visualisations are a way of planning. I haven't been doing visualisations - just like I haven't been doing meditation on a regular basis. I need to take my own advice don't I!!

OK two posts in one day - this is not normal - but today hasn't been a normal day. I will draw a veil over the choking fit I had in the dispensary that needed Louise to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on me so I could breathe. And Anne's funeral was as moving as I expected it to be - but I held it together. The rest was all good - or do I mean great? I texted the client we tired to ring back yesterday - and she rang straight back - and she came down for a reading at 11. According to Tony it was really good - lots of details and really spot on. I had a hypnotherapy session aftre the funeral. It was one of the women in the pharmacy who wanted help with weight loss. The session went ok - but the amazing thing is since doing that session (which focussed on avoiding biscuits sweets and snacks) I haven't even WANTED to raid the biscuit tim, I ate my dinner slowly and still eel really full. But the piece de resistance is Steve got confirmation today he has the internship. he is over the moon and so are we. I also used the wii fit for the first time in 5 days and am thinking about going swimming tomorrow morning. Even the mustard and cress are growing ok!!!

Argghhhh. I was trying so hard to be so good about blogging. Never mind lets have another go. As with my other habits it seems to go well at the beginning of the work - but fades as I get more tired, It went wrong on Wednesday when I was heading for the hospice. I ran out of time in the morning, was tired in the evening (we cancelled the game) and I have not got back on track. But I have meditated more and I have some good news. I did a small leaflet drop near the salon yesterday morning, and I also put business cards through. In less than an hour I got a text from someone who wanted a reading. sadly when we tried to get back to them (I instinctively feel it is a her) the phone went to voice mail. I got chatting to one of Paula's customers - who has VERY good experiences of reiki and mediums - but not since she moved from Nottingham. She was VERY happy to have a business card The signs are looking very good that Steve is about to get an internship which could lead to a permanent job. And all this happened yesterday. I also meditated yesterday as part of the development circle with Marie. AND one of the women at work wants to have some hypnotherapy from me. So things are looking up. On the bad news side my IBS is still a problem. And yesterday I saw myself in a mirror at the salon and thought 'What a big fact cow' And I feel FAT this morning with a capital F. I haven't really used the wiifit this week either I realise. Anyway I have had a healthy breakfast muesli and fresh mango with fromage frais) My lunch is already at work (I hit the canteen on Tuesday) - but I may not have a lunch break today as I am leaving early to go to a funeral. In which case I need to make a lunch I can eat on the move - which isn't practical for soup. So I need to make a sandwich rather that go and buy one Because I am heading straight out to the funeral I will be using the car to get to work. So no walk to work. That view of myself in the mirror has shocked me. It was partly the clothes I had chosen - but it is a very depressing image of myself - ad not how I want to look at all. No doubt the IBS is adding to the 'I feel fat' syndrome. But I have GOT to do something to start things moving in the right direction. I keep saying that - but don't do anything. Why? Is my weight partly sue to my thyroid?? Or is that an excuse for me not to do enough? Maybe I need to keep a food diary for a couple of weeks and look at my eating patterns. Will that help? Maybe I just need to step on the scales and face the music. It may not be as bad as I fear. Why when things are actually going so well in some ways do I have have this huge 'I am a failure' feeling about this? I should be motivated and raring to go - but I'm not. WHY??? The problem is in my head I am sure.

My IBS is playing up - which is a pain. I probably ought to take some Movicol.......if things still feel off tonight I will have to. I have told my group about the 'human pendulum' technique to help them decide which foods are good for them. I used it myself this morning and it chose muesli. We went out for a meal last night for Maggie's birthday. Did I make healthy food choices? No of course not. But I did notice I ate slowly. Yesterday I also drank water - in fact I deliberately got some water to drink with my lunch at work. On the whole I feel things are moving in the right direction. I am walking, drinking water, and I am learning how to eat slowly. I am blogging and/or meditating every day. I have also acquired a new hypnotherapy patient. Is this the law of attraction in action?

Its been a struggle this morning as I feel tired ....but I have eaten, washed and dressed, blogged meditated (sort of) and made myself some lunch. I am tired because we were late home from Wolverhampton last night. But yesterday I used the wii fit for 30 minutes, ate fairly healthily and didn't have a snack fest at the game. I took a cereal bar and an apple. Much better for me. So why have I been repaid by a slight IBS flare up this morning? Life isn't fair at times. I still feel rather sh*tty with my post mothers day blues............ but there is no point in telling Steve IO am upset. Its not HIS fault he doesn't know it means more to me than he knows. And a compliment doesn't mean anything if it is asked for. I had an interesting talk with H last night - and I am taking my Kaballah book into work to read at lunchtime. I got seeds planted yesterday. So I now have Mustard and cress growing on the windowsill and peas in pots in the garden. Fingers crossed

Mothers Day

Its Mothers Day here in the Uk. Mothering Sunday to give it its proper name. Its supposed to be honouring the mother church, but it is of course a chance for kids to show Mums they love them. Its something thats never happened with my son really. I would get something when school did it - but the whole concept of fathers day was such a tricky one due to his non relationship with Alan, that I never pushed it - and I had no-one to push mothers day for me. Tony is a typical bloke who needs reminding. I have always said we didn't do mothers day because it didn't seem fair to do one and not the other. So I am not expecting a mothers day card or flowers or present from Steve. He hasn't got the money being unemployed and anyway I do know he loves me. So why am I sitting here with tears in my eyes feeling jealous of the Mums whose kids have done something special today? Its my insecurities coming out again. But also I do tend to feel I am not a 'normal' mum. I am not a 'girly' person. I don't do pink or girly chat. I have never been dependant on a man to support me (thank goodness for that!) I am in some ways very masculine. I guess I worry that has had a negative effect on Steve. But my feelings are about my insecurities. The fear that I am not good enough, that I am not loved. But it really shows I still don't love myself enough to be confident I am loved by others. I know both Steve and Tony DO love me - they show me by their actions, and maybe thats the best sort of love. Words are cheap - but actions take effort.

OK this is a bit of a primal scream. today started so well. I used the wii ft while watching the qualifying for the GP tomorrow (Cmon Jensen!!!!) I made a post on my FB slimming support group - and as a result decided I wanted to go out to buy some seeds. So i decided I might as well get the stain and varnish for the doors as well. Before I left Tony got in a panic about his laptop because there is a purple area round the crack. he decided he couldn't use the laptop and wanted me to take it into PC world. I said I wanted to TRALK to PC world first. So the shopping went OK, I got the stain the varnish, some mustard and cress seeds and a patio kit to grow peas. Then I went ot PC world to discover the damage isn't covered by anything and we have to pay. (not a huge problem as I may be able to claim on the insurance. So I got home, and walked in to find no sign of Tony, I them immediately dropped one of the tins of stain and it fell upside down, the lid came off and we had satin everywhere. I swore, and called out for Tomy - not realising he was meditating and I interrupted a good meditation, So he wasn't happy the news about the laptop didn't do anything to improve his mood. he went all grumpy and that made me feel guilty and fed up. Now if I take a good look at this, all the problems have been caused by my actions - or lack of. I could have acted earlier on the laptop, I dropped the tin because I was trying to carry too much, and Tony's grumps made me feel bad because I assumed because Tony was unhappy about the laptop and the spill he was unhappy with me. I have absolutely no evidence for that at ALL - it is me at my insecure worst. The laptop can be sorted - but it will take some organisation and time. There are all sorts of lessons for me in this sorry episode. I will make this day a positive one if I can learn them.

Another lousy nights sleep last night. This is becoming a habit I don't want to get into - but I am not shirking things today. I am meeting Margaret for a swim at 8 then going straight onto work. I have had a healthy breakfast, packed a healthy lunch and will ablute at the swimming pool - so all I have to do is get dressed and go. Margaret will drop me off at the hospital - I am not going to wimp out and drive to the pool!!! At least I hope not. Last night I ran a small psychic development circle - and it was an interesting experience. I am not sure yet where it going - and it may fail - but all I can do is try. I am not going to have time to meditate before I go out - but as I told Marie last night blogging is a form of meditation. It will have to do this morning!!

To sleep perchance to dream

Well I have had some unusual dreams over the past few days - but last night I didn't - mainly because I had a rather bad nights sleep. So this morning I feel tired and rather demotivated. But I am doing spiritual stuff today so that has cheered me up. I have also been cheered by the fact that instead of slumping in front of the TV and lap top, and mentally whinging, I have actually done things. I posted in my FB support group, I have posted about being at the salon today, I went into the kitchen to sort my breakfast out emtpied the dishwasher, started to re-load it again and did some tidying up. I have also fixed myself a rather nice breakfast. Muesli an kiwi fruit with breakfast juice on it. I don;t have any fromage frais,we only have 2 yoghurts left and I dislike milk on kiwi fruit. but the breakfast juice is a delightful accompaniment. I don't think I am going to fit in real meditation before I go to the salon - but Marie is coming round tonight for our min development circle so I will be meditating then. But I had some useful thoughts while I was doing the kitchen and as ever blogging (and posting in the support group) are a form of meditation anyway. So I am tired, but surprisingly chilled and optimistic about the day. Yesterday we had a game - but I didn't indulge in a snack fest - mainly because there were no snacks that were appropriate to put on the table. there really is a simple answer to the gaming night snack fests - don't have anything available. I remain convinced the key to me slimming down is to stop snacking . I am not sure yet if I am going to walk to the salon. I do have to take some heavyish stuff up, and probably DO need to head for the supermarket at some point. Is that a reason to use the car - or just an excuse...............

So blogging in the morning isn't happening at the moment - but I guess that means I am reporting on how the day has gone at least. Today was reiki day at the hopsice and it went well. Only 3 patients -but also only one home visit!! And one of my patients was new, unsure about reiki 0 and is looking forward to her appointment next week. I did 30 minutes step aerobics in the wiifit I have drunk water But my food intake hasn't been that healthy. :-( I have the horrible feeling I need a real medical reason to improve on my food intake. Its still the snacks and biscuits that I can't get rid of. Why isn't staying healthy a good enough reason for me to really tackle my eating habits? Is it procrastination? Is it lack of imagination? I really REALLY need to get on top of this. But the good thing is I can look back and see positive things I have done today so I feel good about part of me - just not good about the mee that decides what I am going to eat.

A busy busy day

I ran out of time to blog this morning, but I did meditate and do some work in the kitchen before I got ready for work - including preparing my lunch. Today at work was busy - with a capital F for frantic. But I got away on time. Yet again I can look back on some great interactions with patients that showed they appreciated what I was doing for them. So that is one real positive. On the f;ip side there were biscuits and cake on offer - and I made NO attempt to resist I probably ate way to many of them. I also haven't drunk much water. but to be honest I haven't had the time to stop for many drinks or breaks. I will try to drink plenty of water of this evening and I WILL use thw wii fit...............I don;t want to but I will. My posters arrived today and the leaflets. I just hope I get some customers as a result. Right time to put the wii-fit on............

The perils of sleeping late

I over slept this morning - so I am writing this post in the evening.but at least I am writing it. Today I have exercised - walk to and from work, walk ROUND work and I have just done 3500 steps on the wii fit Today I have drunk water Today I have also eaten biscuits Oh well I never pretended to be perfect. But I am actually hungry - or was when I ate them Today at work I spoke to several patients - all of whom were praising pharmacists in general - not just me in particular. But all did express gratitude to me for what I did for them. I also managed some long distance cousselling of Tony's sister and another friend. I also got a text from the daughter of the hospice patient who died asking if she coudl have reiki from me via the hospice. I am hoping to arrange that for her. So there are 4 instances today when I can look at what did and have confidence in myself and what I did

Getting back into good habits

I am determined to get back into the blogging habit. Even if no-one is reading what I post, just putting thigns down on paper really helps me focus. OK yesterday was a reasonable food day. Looking back I realise I didn't have a single biscuit. Yay for me!! I had lots of fruit. And we had tea from the chippy. Half my chips never made it ti the plate and are still in the fridge. Yum chip butty later in the week. I walked to Northfield and back rather than use the car. And I have to go up again today and I intend to walk again. I meditated yesterday - with some interesting results - recorded in my other blog. THIS blog is for life changes - including hopefully changes in me as I move towards being healthier and slimmer. So I haven't eaten today - but I am not hungry. My next move is going to be to have some water - since I am thirsty - and then go and meditate. I also want to include in this blog at least one record of something that happened each day that I can see as being positive or affirming that I am doing things right - that I can have confidence in myself and what I am doing. Yesterday this was a moving one. I got a text from the reiki- attuned daughter of one of my hospice patients telling me she was near the end and asking advice on what she could do. A couple of hours later I got a message from her father telling me his wife had died - and that he would let me know funeral arrangements. I felt totally honoured that the family wanted to contact me at a time like that. Thats why I love my work at the hospice - unpaid as it is. And I have a feeling I may well see this family again as I believe they may contact me for reiki or hypnotherapy in the future. I KNOW really helped not just my patient but the family as well. I can be confident. And if I can be confident about that - I can be confident that meditation will help me.

Putting in the stones

I posted about time management on my FB group today - and used the analogy of filling with stones (the improtant things) and filling in the gaps with sand - but how if you fill up the jar with sand there is no room for the sones. I know meditation and blogging are two of my stones. So this morning I have meditated, and I am blogging - in both blogs. So how am I this morning? Well the headache that has been plaguing me is still there - but a lot less. My back is better - but I still have discomfort 'down below' which is annoying. I will drink LOTS of water today. I have had a healthy breakfast (weetabix, satsumas and fromage frais) and I am planning to walk into Northfield later. Tony is happy because he logged on last night and got 4 calls after following my advice and staying on for a bit longer. All feels well in my world - and thats a good feeling

I am in a strange place this morning. I should feel upbeat because I have plans - but I have had to confront the fact that I am a champion at self sabotage. i know I sabotage my attempts to eat healthily, and last night I got reminded that I also block my psychic development. In a way this gets me attention from the psychic community. It is nice in a way to be told you CAN do things. It boosts my self image. But if I just let myself develop I wouldn't get that attention. This is something I recently recognised in another area. I lack confidence in myself, so I need approval from others that I am doing well to bolster my confidence. When I don't get it (or imagine I am not getting it) I resort to comfort eating to show myself some love. Clearly this a recurring theme and one I need to deal with.

Exciting times

So this week I have had a hypnotherapy client, today I am up at the salon and will be giving at least one reiki treatment I have another hypnotherapy client in the offing, and very favourable responses from both Birmingham Women's and Little Aston as far as helping me advertise my new hypnotherapy service for pregnant ladies. I need to set myself a goal for something to acheive by the end of 2012. But it must be SMART Specific measurable attainable reasonable and timely. S = number os clients for reiki, hypnotherapy and readings M = the number T well by the end of the year. So how many? And what can I do to make it achievable? How can I advertise it to make sure I do it? I think I want 6 more hypnotherapy clients, 6 more reiki clients, 6 more readings, None of them old clients so none of the ones in the works count. I need to look at the marketing strategy for Krystal Wolf - or is that design a marketing strategy for Krystal Wolf? OK If I can focus on that, can I also focus on improving my eating habits? The biscuits got nobbled again last night. Why???? I really need to work out why I get the urge to eat biscuits. It isn't just habit because some days I don't want them. but on days when I do - I go for it. And yesterday was a good day so it wasn't stress Us people can be funny creatures at times. I am not going to say I don;t want to ever eat another biscuit again, but I DO want to feel I can eat one - and then stop. Now theres a goal to go for. Lots to do today, a CD to record and a business to promote up at the salon. Better get moving

Time to get going

OK I have been married for nearly a week now so I reckon the honeymoon is over and its time to get back to normal. Also my best blogger pal who has been offline a lot is about be on-line a lot more - so I need to give her something to read!!! I have been talking a lot about motivation to my little FB group - and I am now looking at my own.I haven't done a body test of stepped on the scales because I am so worried what they will show. I am motivated to exercise because I know how good that is for me - but I am just NOT motivated to avoid carbs because at heart I don't believe I need to lose weight - mush as I would LIKE to lose weight. There is no doubt health is my biggest driver. As long as I have no lifestyle related health issues, I feel I am ok. I have no doubt if I got started on the dread battery of anti-hypertensives and statins I would soon be motivated to look at my diet. Yesterday I met a friend i hadn't seen for year who had a very minor stroke in one eye - and as a result is aspirin statins etc...all the drugs I don;t want to have to take. I feel I am being prompted to look at so many things at the moment - and my health seems to be one of them. Yesterday I ate WAY too many cookies and even a doughnut during a very very stressful day at the hospital that saw me wondering if the money I get for my 3 days is worth it. I have no doubt yesterdays carb binge was stress driven. I need to look at my stress levels and how I cope. But I cannot blind myself to that risks of my carb fetish at times. When I go for biscuits I really GO for them - and it is something I need to stop. So that is my new eating goal to come up with ways to stop eating biscuits and other snacks. And that includes the stuff I eat at rp sessions too. Why DO I eat when I am not hungry???? Anyway I am now hungry so it is time for me to go and eat

The rest of my life.............

The wedding went well, we had a great day and we chilled for 3 days but today its back to normality and my first full working week as Mrs Sally Haynes-Preece. I have gone double barrelled to keep the shared surname with Steve. But it also gives me the chance to keep my pharmacy and spiritual identities separate. I am not going to change my name with the GPhC. I will remain Sally Haynes for that. But Sally Haynes Preece will look good on my Krystal Wolf business cards - and Sally Haynes-Preece feels like a different person. Sally Haynes-Preece had no doubts about walking to ROH to find my glasses then walking to Selly Oak for an eye test and walking home with some shopping. Sally Haynes-Preece got a hypnotherapy client yesterday. Sally Haynes-Preece is feeling motivated this morning. sally Haynes-Preece even sounds slimmer than Sally Haynes in a way. Lets see what this new person I have found inside me can do

The first day of the rest of my life

Today I reach the age of 60 - and today I get married. Wow what a combination. This is major change psychologically. I am drawing a line under the last 4 years and moving on to new and better things. Am I depressed at reaching an age that really means I am 'old' ? Genuinely I am not because I feel I have so much living left to do. And getting married finally (we have been engaged since before I started this blog!) feels like the right way to draw a line and say that is now over - and today we both move on. Of course I originally started this blog as a replacement for Paul McKenna's 90 day journal. Am I now slim and svelte? Errrr that will be a no . Do I want to slim down still ? Yes but it is much more important to me be healthy and unlike many 60 year olds I do not need medication for high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol. I think the biggest change I have made since I started this blog is walking is now a regular part of life. I have also stopped eating chocolate bars every day. My diet is a lot healthier than it used to be, I cook with real unprocessed ingredients much more often than I used to. I have actually made quite a lot of changes over 4 years now I think about it.......... So well done me.