I have been doing that today - and I have been managing fairly well. No doubt I am still on a high after yesterdays seminar.
But things (apart from the car and the fact that I am still shaken ) have gone well today.
I have used that yes/no technique to help me make food choices and I found cereal, bread, and caffeine were out. Fruit yoghurt rice cakes and fruit tea were in. But I did get a positive for yorkshire pudding with dinner - so it doesn't seem to be total 'no' for wheat. I did get a positive for porridge and rice. But pasta was a negative. Mind you that is just today of course. Things may change tomorrow. It will make choosing my lunch interesting every morning thats for sure.
I have managed to eat really slowly. I left some of my dinner on my plate and I haven't been able to finish the orange I had for desert.
I have had a stroke of luck on the job front too. I have a FB 'friend of a friend' who turns out to be a headhunter in pharmacy - and she thinks she has a client who may be interested in me despite the short hours I want to work.
I was whinging yesterday about my poor self image and was in a 'nobody loves me' state. One side effect of the car crash has been that I have received proof that people DO care about me. the number of people who have expressed concern has been heart warming.
I have even exercised today. Not a lot - but anything is better than nothing.
So I really can't complain too much
Sunday 31 January 2010
So how did the day go?
I know there are a number of people following this blog who use Paul McKenna's program as the focus of their weght loss . They will no doubt be curious about how the day went and what the great man is like. Well it was a great day - he is a total looney ! We frequently ended up in fits of laughter.
I was worried that I wouldn't get much out of the day because obviously a lot of it was repetition of rules that I know already. But Paul really does have a hypnotic personality and I suspect he utilised loads of psychological tricks to re-inforce the messages in our brains. Even the music was chosen with care. As we all left for the lunch break they played ' A little less conversation and a little more action' The message was very clear -' this is your first chance to act on what I have been telling you'
He did some demonstratios with memebers of the audience using visualizations and the tapping technique to help improve peoples self image, reduce cravings. And they were always repeated with the audience en masse. Trust me I didnt know I could make myself so queasy by imagining eating something disgusting - and I am a veteran of visualization techniques.
The most interesting bit for me wasn't Paul tho. It was the 30 minutes presented by his colleague who is the expert on TFT - thought field therapy - which is the basis of the tapping technique.Now I have always been sceptical about this - but his presentation and the demonstrations he did with all of us - as well as the one-to-one demos - certainly made me re-think my position.
It wasn't that I found a massive reduction in a craving - I dont really get cravings. It was the other things he demonstrated with TFT that had me going 'wow'
Try this when you have a moment. Stand up straight with you eyes closed and think 'yes'. The chances are you will move slightly forward. Then get back to your starting position and think 'no' you will move in the opposite direction. Now think about drinking water. Since water is very good for everyone you will move in the 'yes' direction' Now think about a food. If you move in the positive direction that food is OK for you eat (or drink) If you move in the negative direction then you shouldn't eat or drink it. And it can change from day to day apparently. You can still eat or drink something that registers as a 'no' but be prepared to feel bloated and lethargic later' Its your choice.
You can replicate the 'yes/no' thing by rubbing your thumb and forefinger together . Smooth is yes, rough is no.
But it was another demonstration of TFT tat had me going 'wow' I can't remember now why he asked us to do it but we all tapped the base of our hands (the edge leading to the little finger) and we all felt a tingle. 'Thats chi' he annonced. And suddenly I found myself realising this could all link in with reiki.
He himself said it looked almost like withcraft - and it does. But I know full well that your subconscious mind can reveal things through your body if you let it. And that looks like witchcraft too. So I felt a lot of things fall into place. I need to learn more about TFT
I came away in a great mood - which was sadly and abruptly ended when I got involved in car accident on the way home. I am shaken up but OK - but I think my car is a write off. No one was hurt and although I now have to face the bureaucracy of making a claim, I think the worst that can happen is I lose some money on the replacement of the car and the inevitable excess fee that has to be paid. I may also find my insurance company doesn't want to keep me as a customer when I renew so they will give me an expensive quote .
I was worried that I wouldn't get much out of the day because obviously a lot of it was repetition of rules that I know already. But Paul really does have a hypnotic personality and I suspect he utilised loads of psychological tricks to re-inforce the messages in our brains. Even the music was chosen with care. As we all left for the lunch break they played ' A little less conversation and a little more action' The message was very clear -' this is your first chance to act on what I have been telling you'
He did some demonstratios with memebers of the audience using visualizations and the tapping technique to help improve peoples self image, reduce cravings. And they were always repeated with the audience en masse. Trust me I didnt know I could make myself so queasy by imagining eating something disgusting - and I am a veteran of visualization techniques.
The most interesting bit for me wasn't Paul tho. It was the 30 minutes presented by his colleague who is the expert on TFT - thought field therapy - which is the basis of the tapping technique.Now I have always been sceptical about this - but his presentation and the demonstrations he did with all of us - as well as the one-to-one demos - certainly made me re-think my position.
It wasn't that I found a massive reduction in a craving - I dont really get cravings. It was the other things he demonstrated with TFT that had me going 'wow'
Try this when you have a moment. Stand up straight with you eyes closed and think 'yes'. The chances are you will move slightly forward. Then get back to your starting position and think 'no' you will move in the opposite direction. Now think about drinking water. Since water is very good for everyone you will move in the 'yes' direction' Now think about a food. If you move in the positive direction that food is OK for you eat (or drink) If you move in the negative direction then you shouldn't eat or drink it. And it can change from day to day apparently. You can still eat or drink something that registers as a 'no' but be prepared to feel bloated and lethargic later' Its your choice.
You can replicate the 'yes/no' thing by rubbing your thumb and forefinger together . Smooth is yes, rough is no.
But it was another demonstration of TFT tat had me going 'wow' I can't remember now why he asked us to do it but we all tapped the base of our hands (the edge leading to the little finger) and we all felt a tingle. 'Thats chi' he annonced. And suddenly I found myself realising this could all link in with reiki.
He himself said it looked almost like withcraft - and it does. But I know full well that your subconscious mind can reveal things through your body if you let it. And that looks like witchcraft too. So I felt a lot of things fall into place. I need to learn more about TFT
I came away in a great mood - which was sadly and abruptly ended when I got involved in car accident on the way home. I am shaken up but OK - but I think my car is a write off. No one was hurt and although I now have to face the bureaucracy of making a claim, I think the worst that can happen is I lose some money on the replacement of the car and the inevitable excess fee that has to be paid. I may also find my insurance company doesn't want to keep me as a customer when I renew so they will give me an expensive quote .
Saturday 30 January 2010
Paul McKenna Day
I dreamed about Paul last night . I guess that reflects my excitement ,hopes and concerns about today. Is it co-incidence that this event - booked months ago - is happeniong at what seems to be a pivotal time in my life? I dont think so.
Clearly I need to be focused and confident to steer my way through my work situation. Equally clearly the prospect of unemployment has knocked my self confidence as last nights entry showed. If there is one thing I am sure of it is that Paul will be able to give my self esteem and self image a much needed boost.
I am being pro-active and doing what I can to boost myself - but to anyone out there in the blogosphere reading this - if you can take a few moments to think of/pray for/send good vibes to me (whatever your personal belief system is) I would be very grateful.
Physically I am tried this morning. I am also hungry but don't have a clue what I want to eat. In fact nerves are making me feel slightly sick. My back is hurting and the wii fit is staying off until I come back. But I will be exercising because I will have a walk from the station to the conference hall. I do find I am curious about what and how often refreshments will be available today. (Eat when you are hungry!) I will have a bag with my normal finger food and a bottle of water! I am not giving up on my water even for my guru!!!
Clearly I need to be focused and confident to steer my way through my work situation. Equally clearly the prospect of unemployment has knocked my self confidence as last nights entry showed. If there is one thing I am sure of it is that Paul will be able to give my self esteem and self image a much needed boost.
I am being pro-active and doing what I can to boost myself - but to anyone out there in the blogosphere reading this - if you can take a few moments to think of/pray for/send good vibes to me (whatever your personal belief system is) I would be very grateful.
Physically I am tried this morning. I am also hungry but don't have a clue what I want to eat. In fact nerves are making me feel slightly sick. My back is hurting and the wii fit is staying off until I come back. But I will be exercising because I will have a walk from the station to the conference hall. I do find I am curious about what and how often refreshments will be available today. (Eat when you are hungry!) I will have a bag with my normal finger food and a bottle of water! I am not giving up on my water even for my guru!!!
Friday 29 January 2010
Never a good sign - this post may need a health warning
Two posts in one day is never a good sign. For some reason I feel really down this afternoon. I am hoping doing a blog entry will help me work out what is going on in my head.
I am really looking forward to seeing Paul McKenna tomorrow - but worried I wont get much from it.
I am worried that attempting to combine reiki and my pharmacy skills will lead to problems with some of my peers. Some of them are rabid against complementary therapies. I can just imagine the sorts of comments I would get if I came out and told them I am doing reiki.
The meeting with the financial adviser went OK. Of course I have to wait and see what advice he gives me.
I have contacted another locum agency - but if I want to register with them I need to provide and 2 referees. I have a cv somewhere - but I am unsure who Ic oudl aporach as a referee. Logically that is absurd because Goeff and/or Jane would be suitable, and I am sure Anne would be willing to give me reference. But for some reason I am really frightened by the thought of getting references.
I have done some exercise - 20 minutes of free step. Sadly the endorphins are not doing me much good.
Wtf is WRONG with me??
For some reason I have a hugely negative self image? I am worried Paul wont think I am worth helping, I am worried people wont give me good references. I am worried how my peers may see me if I come out and admit my reiki training.
Well if there's one thing I know Paul WILL be working on tomorrow its our self image. So help is at hand. All I have to do is get through the rest of today without imploding and having a biscuit fest.
The debates on Private-Rx have been quite robust and I find myself in a minority quite often. I have unsubscribed because I am fed up of worrying about how I think they think about me. In fact at the moment I feel very discontected from my profession.
I am guessing its becasue I feel my profession doesn't value me . The debates are happening at the same time as Geoff has warned me they may not be able to keep me on. I finally have it. I am facing what I feel are 2 'rejections' by my profession. No wonder my self image is bruised.
At least I know the problem now - and I do feel a bit better now
Good old blog - helped me again to work sort my head out
I am really looking forward to seeing Paul McKenna tomorrow - but worried I wont get much from it.
I am worried that attempting to combine reiki and my pharmacy skills will lead to problems with some of my peers. Some of them are rabid against complementary therapies. I can just imagine the sorts of comments I would get if I came out and told them I am doing reiki.
The meeting with the financial adviser went OK. Of course I have to wait and see what advice he gives me.
I have contacted another locum agency - but if I want to register with them I need to provide and 2 referees. I have a cv somewhere - but I am unsure who Ic oudl aporach as a referee. Logically that is absurd because Goeff and/or Jane would be suitable, and I am sure Anne would be willing to give me reference. But for some reason I am really frightened by the thought of getting references.
I have done some exercise - 20 minutes of free step. Sadly the endorphins are not doing me much good.
Wtf is WRONG with me??
For some reason I have a hugely negative self image? I am worried Paul wont think I am worth helping, I am worried people wont give me good references. I am worried how my peers may see me if I come out and admit my reiki training.
Well if there's one thing I know Paul WILL be working on tomorrow its our self image. So help is at hand. All I have to do is get through the rest of today without imploding and having a biscuit fest.
The debates on Private-Rx have been quite robust and I find myself in a minority quite often. I have unsubscribed because I am fed up of worrying about how I think they think about me. In fact at the moment I feel very discontected from my profession.
I am guessing its becasue I feel my profession doesn't value me . The debates are happening at the same time as Geoff has warned me they may not be able to keep me on. I finally have it. I am facing what I feel are 2 'rejections' by my profession. No wonder my self image is bruised.
At least I know the problem now - and I do feel a bit better now
Good old blog - helped me again to work sort my head out
Wine gums
Yesterday food went very very badly. I wasn't at work during the day but had tickets to go out in the evening. (Wrestling show at Coventry) This meant because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat when I was hungry during the evening I ate when I wasn't hungry before I went out. And the net result of that was that I ended up bingeing on wine gums during the evening and especially on the drive home. Because I was at home I also didnt think about drinking water - although I probably did drink more tea and coffee. I did aso buy a bottle of water to drink at the show. I knew what the chanting and cheering would do to my throat. Thats also why I bought the wine gums - to help keep my throat clear. But I will be brutally frank and admit I ate 80% of the pack myself. I ate 40% during the show, Rob had about 10% during the show, and I ate 40% on the VERY short drive from Rob's to ours after dropping him off. The other 10% are still in the car. I was too ashamed to bring the pack into the house with me. I have NO idea why I stuffed myself like that during that short time.
This morning I feel dreadful, my guts feel as if they have seized up and I feel I have a lead weight in my stomach.
I am not too pleased with myself at the moment. I dont hate myself but I am angry with myself for behaving so stupidly . I can't even claim stress or comfort eating. I feel challenged and stimulated by the planning for potential unemployment. I am nervous but not down and depressed. there was NO excuse for what i did. There is NEVER an excuse for what I did. But having confessed all in this blog I know all I can do is draw a line under it, try to learn something from it, forgive myself and move on. I also need to remember that tomorrow is THE DAY I have been looking forward to for so long.
This has been a wake up call. I had been sitting here rather smug thinking that I really didn't NEED the day to help me with my food managment. I will now be approaching the day in a very different frame of mind - and I suspect I will get a lot more from it as a result.
I am very tired this morning. I am so glad I booked myself a day off - even though part of me is thinking I need to grab all the hours I can while I have work. In fact I am quite proud of my reaction to Geoff's warning aboutthe booking coming to an end. It would have been easy to go into panic mode and I didn't.
Today I have the meeting with the financial adviser about what to do with the money I inherited. For me it largely comes down to a choice of whether (and how) I invest the money or do I pay off the mortgage and look at investing the money that would have gone to the mortgage. Of course if my income is going to drop radically it is possible I could NEED the money that would have gone to pay the mortgage to live off. Choices choices.
I am too tired to exercise this morning - but the walking I did yesterday has made me realise how out of shape I am since I stopped doing the 30 /40 minutes a day I used to do. I am glad I have the goal of the race to spur me on. I am sure it will be beneficial. So I will be exercising today - but later when I am more awake.
This morning I feel dreadful, my guts feel as if they have seized up and I feel I have a lead weight in my stomach.
I am not too pleased with myself at the moment. I dont hate myself but I am angry with myself for behaving so stupidly . I can't even claim stress or comfort eating. I feel challenged and stimulated by the planning for potential unemployment. I am nervous but not down and depressed. there was NO excuse for what i did. There is NEVER an excuse for what I did. But having confessed all in this blog I know all I can do is draw a line under it, try to learn something from it, forgive myself and move on. I also need to remember that tomorrow is THE DAY I have been looking forward to for so long.
This has been a wake up call. I had been sitting here rather smug thinking that I really didn't NEED the day to help me with my food managment. I will now be approaching the day in a very different frame of mind - and I suspect I will get a lot more from it as a result.
I am very tired this morning. I am so glad I booked myself a day off - even though part of me is thinking I need to grab all the hours I can while I have work. In fact I am quite proud of my reaction to Geoff's warning aboutthe booking coming to an end. It would have been easy to go into panic mode and I didn't.
Today I have the meeting with the financial adviser about what to do with the money I inherited. For me it largely comes down to a choice of whether (and how) I invest the money or do I pay off the mortgage and look at investing the money that would have gone to the mortgage. Of course if my income is going to drop radically it is possible I could NEED the money that would have gone to pay the mortgage to live off. Choices choices.
I am too tired to exercise this morning - but the walking I did yesterday has made me realise how out of shape I am since I stopped doing the 30 /40 minutes a day I used to do. I am glad I have the goal of the race to spur me on. I am sure it will be beneficial. So I will be exercising today - but later when I am more awake.
Thursday 28 January 2010
Just when everything was going smoothly.....
I get thrown a curved ball. Yesterday Geoff told me there is a chance that the Trust's stringent financial targets mean they wont be keeping me on after 1st April. I am not surprised. Despite all the political posturing about spening on the health service being protected . the NHS is going to face a squeeze unlike any it has faced before. So suddenly the future is more uncertain than it was.
So its deep breath time and look at the options. I have an unexpected day off today due to my car having no brake pads. I am supposed to be driving to Coventry tonight and I decided I needed to be sure it WAS OK - and it turns out it wasn't . So it is being fixed - and I can't get to work without a car. So I have a useful day to think and reflect and maybe make a few decisions. Tomorrow I have the meeting to make financial decisions so there is feeling of planning about the way all this is happening.
So in April I may be working at my present hopsital, another hospital, a community pharmacy, or may not be able to find work as a locum because locums are too expensive in a recession - even though we are now officially out of it. The recession always starts and finishes later in public services like the NHS.
I am anxious - but not worried. My FB status last night said it all. This could be a threat or an apportunity and I am determined to be positive about this.
Somehow my health and weight goals are less important than surviving mundane and practical matters. But there is no way I am ignoring them. In fact today I have done the 'overindulged' workout including the jogging. I know I have done it too. I also did the warm up workout. I was going to carry on a do 'legs and hips' but the board kept cutting out - and I decided I was being nudged not to overdo things. I can always do some more later anyway.
I am still excited about te Paul McKenna day on Saturday - even though I can't complete the questionnaire they have sent out because I can't open the file.
Despite the uncertainties of the future I dont feel down, I dont feel tempted to comfort eat. I feel surprsingly in control. If anyone reading this knows anything about tarot - I make a random pick every day and see what message it has for me. Today I picked the hanged man - which is an amzingly apt card - and also very positive under these circumstances. So I feel challenged but ready to grab any opportunity that comes my way.
And I also know I need to be fit to make the most of any opportunities
So its deep breath time and look at the options. I have an unexpected day off today due to my car having no brake pads. I am supposed to be driving to Coventry tonight and I decided I needed to be sure it WAS OK - and it turns out it wasn't . So it is being fixed - and I can't get to work without a car. So I have a useful day to think and reflect and maybe make a few decisions. Tomorrow I have the meeting to make financial decisions so there is feeling of planning about the way all this is happening.
So in April I may be working at my present hopsital, another hospital, a community pharmacy, or may not be able to find work as a locum because locums are too expensive in a recession - even though we are now officially out of it. The recession always starts and finishes later in public services like the NHS.
I am anxious - but not worried. My FB status last night said it all. This could be a threat or an apportunity and I am determined to be positive about this.
Somehow my health and weight goals are less important than surviving mundane and practical matters. But there is no way I am ignoring them. In fact today I have done the 'overindulged' workout including the jogging. I know I have done it too. I also did the warm up workout. I was going to carry on a do 'legs and hips' but the board kept cutting out - and I decided I was being nudged not to overdo things. I can always do some more later anyway.
I am still excited about te Paul McKenna day on Saturday - even though I can't complete the questionnaire they have sent out because I can't open the file.
Despite the uncertainties of the future I dont feel down, I dont feel tempted to comfort eat. I feel surprsingly in control. If anyone reading this knows anything about tarot - I make a random pick every day and see what message it has for me. Today I picked the hanged man - which is an amzingly apt card - and also very positive under these circumstances. So I feel challenged but ready to grab any opportunity that comes my way.
And I also know I need to be fit to make the most of any opportunities
Wednesday 27 January 2010
Persevering through failure
'Of course try, try again, but when you don't succeed at something it's best not to beat yourself up or hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of achievement. Feeling as if you're a failure, simply for not reaching a goal, is not who you truly are. Do you think you're the only one who fails? Of course not! Most problems involve steps to their solution, and solving each step along the way IS an accomplishment. If you become discouraged during your weight loss journey or find your financial aspirations out of reach, keep trying! Some of life's most rewarding experiences make you sweat and persevere through hard times, only to emerge on the other side victorious and wiser for having worked so hard.'
I needed this reflection today. I woke up feeling de-motivated and unergised. Doing a Beyond choc tune in I realised neither my mind NOR my body wanted me to do a work out this morning. So I have decided not attempt anything like 30 minutes. I may do a quick gentle routine later.
But rthe refelction is a good reminder that no-one has total success with no failure in anything they try to do. How many methods did Edision try before he perfected the light bulb?
Even if I dont succeed in losing all the weight I want to, this doesn't make me a bad person. Wjy am I feeling so defensive about myself? I guess its because of a rather bruising debate going on on a professional mailing list about the rights and wrongs of consience clauses. It almost seems as if the anti brigade feel those of us who actually have some respect for the views of others or who - heaven help us - actually have some spirituality and faith are being unprofessional.
I will soon be able to practice as a reiki therapist. At the moment judging from the debate going on about 'magical beleifs' some of my colleagues would feel I should be struck off as a pharmacist for not writing reiki off as a load of b**ll*cks.t. That is not a nice feeling .
I know I am to an extent magnifying and extrapolating but that is probably a sign that I am insecure.. I do need to try and integrate these two extreme sides of myself (the practical scientific pharmacist and the esoteric faith based 'healer').
I spent some time reading and taking part in the debate yesterday evening. My chocolate consumption went up. Cause and effect. The debate yesterday de-motivated me (and was very bad for my blood pressure probably). I think what I am feeling this morning is a hangover from that. So I am sitting here hungry despite eating a bowl of porridge, feeling too lethargic to turn the wii fit on. I can't decide what I want for lunch and if I am not careful I will rush something together that I wont really enjoy so wont eat slowly and then tonight I will be hitting the biscuit barrel again.
Well I will give myself top marks for knowing myself. Now all I need to do is find the way out of this maze. I am sure I will. My mood is determined despite all the agonising.
I needed this reflection today. I woke up feeling de-motivated and unergised. Doing a Beyond choc tune in I realised neither my mind NOR my body wanted me to do a work out this morning. So I have decided not attempt anything like 30 minutes. I may do a quick gentle routine later.
But rthe refelction is a good reminder that no-one has total success with no failure in anything they try to do. How many methods did Edision try before he perfected the light bulb?
Even if I dont succeed in losing all the weight I want to, this doesn't make me a bad person. Wjy am I feeling so defensive about myself? I guess its because of a rather bruising debate going on on a professional mailing list about the rights and wrongs of consience clauses. It almost seems as if the anti brigade feel those of us who actually have some respect for the views of others or who - heaven help us - actually have some spirituality and faith are being unprofessional.
I will soon be able to practice as a reiki therapist. At the moment judging from the debate going on about 'magical beleifs' some of my colleagues would feel I should be struck off as a pharmacist for not writing reiki off as a load of b**ll*cks.t. That is not a nice feeling .
I know I am to an extent magnifying and extrapolating but that is probably a sign that I am insecure.. I do need to try and integrate these two extreme sides of myself (the practical scientific pharmacist and the esoteric faith based 'healer').
I spent some time reading and taking part in the debate yesterday evening. My chocolate consumption went up. Cause and effect. The debate yesterday de-motivated me (and was very bad for my blood pressure probably). I think what I am feeling this morning is a hangover from that. So I am sitting here hungry despite eating a bowl of porridge, feeling too lethargic to turn the wii fit on. I can't decide what I want for lunch and if I am not careful I will rush something together that I wont really enjoy so wont eat slowly and then tonight I will be hitting the biscuit barrel again.
Well I will give myself top marks for knowing myself. Now all I need to do is find the way out of this maze. I am sure I will. My mood is determined despite all the agonising.
Tuesday 26 January 2010
Making progress!
Wow I managed a 28 minute workout this morning. It was almost my old 10 10 10 routine - except I only did 8 minutes of boxing. I know I've done it too! It will be interesting to see how my back copes today at work. I hope I haven't overdone it. If I have then it is work that will go . My health comes first.
Food was a bit iffy yesterday. I'm still not eating slowly enough (I mst sound like a broken record) but I ate healthily on the whole yesterday. I also ade an effort with drinking water.
I feel as if I am in limbo at the moment. I am kind of marking time until Saturday and Paul's seminar. But I have made an effort to ensure I have a lunch I can really relish. left over chips and some breda and butter with some salad. Chip butty yum yum!! I enjoyed yesterdays wraps - but they ddnt quite hit the spot.
It really IS a problem trying to decide what you will fancy in 5 hours time. I have worked out some basic rules. I always enjoy cereal bars. Real bread is much nicer than processed bread. I like texture and flavour. But it doesn't always work. When I get my new hours sorted out I will have time to get something from the coffee shop if I fancy it. That will increase my options.
I do feel more optimistic now I am within shouting distance of getting back to my normal exercise routine. then I will be able to think about going back outside and doing some jogging/running to prepare for the race in June.
One very postive chnage I have noticed I really CAN eat chocolate in small quatities. I ALMOST bought a chocolate bar when I filled up with petrol last night. But I looked at them and decided I didnt really fancy one after all. But last night I opened some chocolate biscuits. And how many did I eat? 2 - thats all - 2. I didnt WANT any more. I can live with that :-)
Food was a bit iffy yesterday. I'm still not eating slowly enough (I mst sound like a broken record) but I ate healthily on the whole yesterday. I also ade an effort with drinking water.
I feel as if I am in limbo at the moment. I am kind of marking time until Saturday and Paul's seminar. But I have made an effort to ensure I have a lunch I can really relish. left over chips and some breda and butter with some salad. Chip butty yum yum!! I enjoyed yesterdays wraps - but they ddnt quite hit the spot.
It really IS a problem trying to decide what you will fancy in 5 hours time. I have worked out some basic rules. I always enjoy cereal bars. Real bread is much nicer than processed bread. I like texture and flavour. But it doesn't always work. When I get my new hours sorted out I will have time to get something from the coffee shop if I fancy it. That will increase my options.
I do feel more optimistic now I am within shouting distance of getting back to my normal exercise routine. then I will be able to think about going back outside and doing some jogging/running to prepare for the race in June.
One very postive chnage I have noticed I really CAN eat chocolate in small quatities. I ALMOST bought a chocolate bar when I filled up with petrol last night. But I looked at them and decided I didnt really fancy one after all. But last night I opened some chocolate biscuits. And how many did I eat? 2 - thats all - 2. I didnt WANT any more. I can live with that :-)
Monday 25 January 2010
Nothing much to say
Thats kind of how I feel this morning. Everything is OK - not brilliant but OK. Food went OK ish yesterday. I am still not eating slowly enough - but I am still trying. I managed more exercise yesterday and this morning I have done 3 or my 4 normal routine. I still don't have the courage to test my back with 'over indulged' and its jogging. But I have clocked up 19 minutes and 84 calories this morning.
I am also doing much better with drinking water - and I hope when I go for my next massage Steve will see an improvement.
I do feel incredibly positive about everything at the moment. I still have my goals in sight and am working towards them.
I am really looking forward to the Paul Mckenna weight loss event on Saturday. I am hoping it will REALLY motivate me - but mainly I am hoping I get the chance to speak to him and say thank you for the way his book turned my life around 3 years ago.
I am trying to work out why I feel so good about things at the moment. I think it is because I feel in total control of my life at the moment. I think what has really helped has been sticking to to the plan I made for using early mornings at the weekends to do paperwork and professional stuff like CPD. That is exactly what I did on Saturday morning - and it didnt take that long.
How many times have I said in this blog that discipline is the key for me? I was disciplined - and it worked. Keeping myself discilined is just a matter of practice and practice makes perfect.
I am also doing much better with drinking water - and I hope when I go for my next massage Steve will see an improvement.
I do feel incredibly positive about everything at the moment. I still have my goals in sight and am working towards them.
I am really looking forward to the Paul Mckenna weight loss event on Saturday. I am hoping it will REALLY motivate me - but mainly I am hoping I get the chance to speak to him and say thank you for the way his book turned my life around 3 years ago.
I am trying to work out why I feel so good about things at the moment. I think it is because I feel in total control of my life at the moment. I think what has really helped has been sticking to to the plan I made for using early mornings at the weekends to do paperwork and professional stuff like CPD. That is exactly what I did on Saturday morning - and it didnt take that long.
How many times have I said in this blog that discipline is the key for me? I was disciplined - and it worked. Keeping myself discilined is just a matter of practice and practice makes perfect.
Sunday 24 January 2010
Happiness is.............
'Happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that you'll reach one day. Bumps in the road of life are to be expected, and we cannot let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of factors would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction can only come from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your circumstances. During this life you'll have many hard days--long work days, sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc. This week, think about the joys of your life. Find creative ways to enjoy the little bumps in the road. '
Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog won't be surprised to know the above came from Sparkpeople . Its about the only bit of the site I use but it always gets me thinking.
I realised ages ago that you will only succeed in losing weight if you care enough about yourself to do what is needed. And who can care about themselves when they are unhappy all the time?
This has been a good weekend for me so far. Food has gone OK, I have drunk water and I have exercised as much as my back would allow. My back is making reasonable progress but I am still no where near 30 minutes I would like to do. Other things are also going well. I feel in control of my life and I am on track with my goals for this year.
I'm happy and I think the Sparkpeople reflection underlines that I am doing the right things and I am on the right path in my life generally.
Sometimes the universe sends you warnings or advise. Today I feel the universe is telling me I am doing OK.
Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog won't be surprised to know the above came from Sparkpeople . Its about the only bit of the site I use but it always gets me thinking.
I realised ages ago that you will only succeed in losing weight if you care enough about yourself to do what is needed. And who can care about themselves when they are unhappy all the time?
This has been a good weekend for me so far. Food has gone OK, I have drunk water and I have exercised as much as my back would allow. My back is making reasonable progress but I am still no where near 30 minutes I would like to do. Other things are also going well. I feel in control of my life and I am on track with my goals for this year.
I'm happy and I think the Sparkpeople reflection underlines that I am doing the right things and I am on the right path in my life generally.
Sometimes the universe sends you warnings or advise. Today I feel the universe is telling me I am doing OK.
Friday 22 January 2010
A good day
I think I can report that yesterday was a good day all round yesterday. Work went well, food went well, I drank more water, and I managed to eat more slowly. Three cheers for me!
Ironically as I was slowly eating my lunch I overheard some of my colleagues joking about 'I can make you think' and how it couldn't work. I am determined now to show them it does.
Todays healthy reflection was all about time management and not wasting time. I even feel I am making progress on that front because Tony and I have just taken a bit of a stand with a friend and pulled out of an activity they really wnated us to continue with. So my Friday evenings are now free again - and I can use them for study.
As I type this I am having breakfast - and I have a glass of water. I am eating the breakfast slowly.I have done 2 workout routines (warm up and legs and hips) and my back stood up to it OK - although I was starting to feel some discomfort in my back and leg by the end. But I should be able to do something this evening as well.
So a good day yesterday - and today is starting out well.
To anyone reading this blog who is currently stuck , or fed up that they are not making the progress they would like, take heart. If I can get myself back on track, anyone can with the right attitude. Go for it !
Ironically as I was slowly eating my lunch I overheard some of my colleagues joking about 'I can make you think' and how it couldn't work. I am determined now to show them it does.
Todays healthy reflection was all about time management and not wasting time. I even feel I am making progress on that front because Tony and I have just taken a bit of a stand with a friend and pulled out of an activity they really wnated us to continue with. So my Friday evenings are now free again - and I can use them for study.
As I type this I am having breakfast - and I have a glass of water. I am eating the breakfast slowly.I have done 2 workout routines (warm up and legs and hips) and my back stood up to it OK - although I was starting to feel some discomfort in my back and leg by the end. But I should be able to do something this evening as well.
So a good day yesterday - and today is starting out well.
To anyone reading this blog who is currently stuck , or fed up that they are not making the progress they would like, take heart. If I can get myself back on track, anyone can with the right attitude. Go for it !
Thursday 21 January 2010
Backwatch day 3
I had a wonderful massage last night. I found I was surprisingly unconcerned about standing in my bra panties in fron of a male friend! Steve gave me lots of advice including a better way to walk downstarirs (sideways) and to take it easy after the massage I didnt quite believe that and did some stepping last night and some yoga this morning. I had to give up the yoga because it started to hurt my back so I guess he was right. Well of course he was right!! The thrid bit of advice was to drink more water. Why am I not surprised? I lost the water habit but MUST get back into it it.
There are trigger points when I need to drink water. I always have a glass of water by the bed, I need to make sure that gets drunk first thing. I always have a 50ml bottle of water at work. I need to empty that. I need to drink after I meditate and with every meal. I WILL increase my water intake.
In myself I feel better. Work is going better now and I am a lot happier with that. I will soon be able to arrange my second reiki training and move forward on that. I feel in control of my life again - and it is wonderful.
What has changed? I guess the answer is me. My situation is still the same but I am viewing it with more optimistic eyes. Being out of pain also helps a lot.
Just over a week until the weight loss day with Paul McKenna. REALLY looking forward to that
There are trigger points when I need to drink water. I always have a glass of water by the bed, I need to make sure that gets drunk first thing. I always have a 50ml bottle of water at work. I need to empty that. I need to drink after I meditate and with every meal. I WILL increase my water intake.
In myself I feel better. Work is going better now and I am a lot happier with that. I will soon be able to arrange my second reiki training and move forward on that. I feel in control of my life again - and it is wonderful.
What has changed? I guess the answer is me. My situation is still the same but I am viewing it with more optimistic eyes. Being out of pain also helps a lot.
Just over a week until the weight loss day with Paul McKenna. REALLY looking forward to that
Wednesday 20 January 2010
Backwatch day 2
Yesterday work was busy - but I did manage to sit down at fairly regular intervals. The new work process worked well - and since it depends quite a lot on me personally I came home quite bouyed up and less tired than I expected. I was also very bouyed up when I realised they have kept me but let another locum go. They are expecting this new system to make more efficient use of their pharmacists so they dont need as many.
And I am doing MUCH more of the sort of work I both enjoy and am good at. So on all sorts of levels this is good for me.
Is it just coincidence both my back and I feel better? No of course its not. I even managed to do 20 minute free step last night. BUT I am not going mad this morning. Any work out I do this morning will be low key, low impact and aimed at flexibility. But I am srtting myself a target that on 1st February I will be back to doing some proper aerobic exercise. On 1st February I want to do the 'overindulged' routine (lunge,jogging and boxing)
I have 5 months to prepare for the Race for Life. I know I can walk it easily. My goal is to jog at least 2K of it. I can walk 5K easily in an hour. I would love to complete that 5k in 45 minutes.
Food is a going as well as can be expected at the moment. My biscuit count was down yesterday but I am not eating slowly enough. I am looking forward to having the ,onger lunch break so I can focus on eating slowly at work. Then I think I wil do better in the evenings as well. I have a plan, I am still focusing on how I can improve things so I guess I am doing OK.
My back is not too unhappy this morning but I am looking forward to the massage tonight. I still scared I could overdo things the way I did 2 years ago and end up with problems for months.
And I am doing MUCH more of the sort of work I both enjoy and am good at. So on all sorts of levels this is good for me.
Is it just coincidence both my back and I feel better? No of course its not. I even managed to do 20 minute free step last night. BUT I am not going mad this morning. Any work out I do this morning will be low key, low impact and aimed at flexibility. But I am srtting myself a target that on 1st February I will be back to doing some proper aerobic exercise. On 1st February I want to do the 'overindulged' routine (lunge,jogging and boxing)
I have 5 months to prepare for the Race for Life. I know I can walk it easily. My goal is to jog at least 2K of it. I can walk 5K easily in an hour. I would love to complete that 5k in 45 minutes.
Food is a going as well as can be expected at the moment. My biscuit count was down yesterday but I am not eating slowly enough. I am looking forward to having the ,onger lunch break so I can focus on eating slowly at work. Then I think I wil do better in the evenings as well. I have a plan, I am still focusing on how I can improve things so I guess I am doing OK.
My back is not too unhappy this morning but I am looking forward to the massage tonight. I still scared I could overdo things the way I did 2 years ago and end up with problems for months.
Tuesday 19 January 2010
Back Watch
There is no doubt that is what it is all about at the moment. I am obviously still managing my food as best I can - but I know I am falling prey to emotional eating because I am so fed up. Pain and discomfort does that.
OK I know .move your body' is not one of the 4 golden rules BUT it is a major part of MY programe because my aim is good health not weight loss.
I had an email through from 'Race for Life' telling me I could now register. Although at the moment the idea of walking 5K ,never mind trying to run at all ,is off limits I am still going ahead with my plan to enter the race. It is in June so it gives me a definite target to work towards and I know my back will be better by then. I tried to register last night and failed. i am going to try again now because I need to comit myself to this before I get cold feet.
I am NOT going to let my back beat me. I will pace myself with my exercise routines however frustrating that is because I know that is the best way to make sure I dont make things worse.
Food yesterday was actually not too bad. It went a bit pear shaped in the evening - but I was a bit tense becasue of my back and because of a slight conflict between us and one of our friends. But I didn't binge or massively overeat.
I also did better with water yesterday. Having to take painkillers is a reat excuse to drink water. Every cloud has a silver lining. 'New Me' remidned me about water yesterday. I must try harder with that
OK I know .move your body' is not one of the 4 golden rules BUT it is a major part of MY programe because my aim is good health not weight loss.
I had an email through from 'Race for Life' telling me I could now register. Although at the moment the idea of walking 5K ,never mind trying to run at all ,is off limits I am still going ahead with my plan to enter the race. It is in June so it gives me a definite target to work towards and I know my back will be better by then. I tried to register last night and failed. i am going to try again now because I need to comit myself to this before I get cold feet.
I am NOT going to let my back beat me. I will pace myself with my exercise routines however frustrating that is because I know that is the best way to make sure I dont make things worse.
Food yesterday was actually not too bad. It went a bit pear shaped in the evening - but I was a bit tense becasue of my back and because of a slight conflict between us and one of our friends. But I didn't binge or massively overeat.
I also did better with water yesterday. Having to take painkillers is a reat excuse to drink water. Every cloud has a silver lining. 'New Me' remidned me about water yesterday. I must try harder with that
Monday 18 January 2010
Keeping moving
Everything is dominated by my back at the moment. I was so fed up yesterday I didnt post. But I haven't yet missed a day on the wii fit although I am not even getting close to 30 minutes/161 calories. I am doing yoga for flexibility and very very gentle arrobics. Step Basics, rhythym parade, or 10 minutes free step at the pace set by the mii - which means I just about hit 1000 steps in the time. My normal total is around 1200.
I wake up in such pain. Saturday night was dreadful so when I woke Sunday morning I decided the 15 year old bed needed to be replaced. I have to wiat two weeks for it to be delivered - but I bought two new beds yesterday. I decided to replace the spare room bed as well since it is also 15 years old.
I managed food reasonably well yesterday but I ate too many biscuits. I really WAS totally fed up. But I am being pro-active about my back. I did some reiki on it last night and I am having a Swedish massage from a friend on Wednesday so if I keep on the way I am with exercise and keeping mobile I am confident things will improve. So I need to keep reminding myself about that.
I seem to think my back problems is some sort of failure on my part. I think that is what fueled yesterdays snack fest. Its ridiculous of course . Hopefully having realised that, I can now kick the idea out of my mind and stop beating myself up about it.
I wake up in such pain. Saturday night was dreadful so when I woke Sunday morning I decided the 15 year old bed needed to be replaced. I have to wiat two weeks for it to be delivered - but I bought two new beds yesterday. I decided to replace the spare room bed as well since it is also 15 years old.
I managed food reasonably well yesterday but I ate too many biscuits. I really WAS totally fed up. But I am being pro-active about my back. I did some reiki on it last night and I am having a Swedish massage from a friend on Wednesday so if I keep on the way I am with exercise and keeping mobile I am confident things will improve. So I need to keep reminding myself about that.
I seem to think my back problems is some sort of failure on my part. I think that is what fueled yesterdays snack fest. Its ridiculous of course . Hopefully having realised that, I can now kick the idea out of my mind and stop beating myself up about it.
Saturday 16 January 2010
Sparkpeople
Applying "Carpe diem" to your everyday life
We all have goals--some immediate, some far off in the distance. By working hard and focusing on what you want to get out of life, you increase the probability of achieving all of your dreams. In the end there are no guarantees, so make the most of each day by celebrating and cherishing the moment instead of looking forward. Want to try yoga but have been too intimidated? Tired of getting the same haircut over and over? Want to go back to school? Go for it! Tomorrow is not a promise. Seize the opportunities while you still can!
I can tell I am down because the healthy reflection always seems significant at the moment. When I can say 'I am already doing that' its a good thing. This one reminded me I am 'seizing the day' I will be starting my Open University course soon as well as doing my second reiki attunment so I can advertise myself as a practitioner
At the moment I am plagued by memories. The last time my back was this bad was 2 years ago. To anyone reading this post who doesn't know my full story just flip back to me first post and you will see why this memory is disturbing. Last time my bad back was the start of a cycle of disaster. I am clinging to the possibility that this time it is going to mark the end of the cycle. Sometimes the universe does things like that.
There is another happier reason why I am plagued by memories . My son is 21 today. A significant milestone - even tho it no longer marks the time when he can be given his own front door key to the family home! He has been a home owner and living in his own house for a many months now.
My back is still the dominant factor in ym life. I managed a session of step plus on the wii fit - but was getting clear signals that I shouldn't do any more.
I hadn't realised quite how much I rely psychologically on my workout routine. Not being able to do it makes me panic.I almost feel I can fell the pounds piling on whihc is silly. As long as I stick to Paul's rules I won't.
I got my ticket yesterday for the event on the 30th! Everything seems to be prompting me to really look at how I am managing with the 4 golden rules. Yesterday I didnt do too well. I ate too many biscuits when I wasn't really hungry.
Today I will do better
We all have goals--some immediate, some far off in the distance. By working hard and focusing on what you want to get out of life, you increase the probability of achieving all of your dreams. In the end there are no guarantees, so make the most of each day by celebrating and cherishing the moment instead of looking forward. Want to try yoga but have been too intimidated? Tired of getting the same haircut over and over? Want to go back to school? Go for it! Tomorrow is not a promise. Seize the opportunities while you still can!
I can tell I am down because the healthy reflection always seems significant at the moment. When I can say 'I am already doing that' its a good thing. This one reminded me I am 'seizing the day' I will be starting my Open University course soon as well as doing my second reiki attunment so I can advertise myself as a practitioner
At the moment I am plagued by memories. The last time my back was this bad was 2 years ago. To anyone reading this post who doesn't know my full story just flip back to me first post and you will see why this memory is disturbing. Last time my bad back was the start of a cycle of disaster. I am clinging to the possibility that this time it is going to mark the end of the cycle. Sometimes the universe does things like that.
There is another happier reason why I am plagued by memories . My son is 21 today. A significant milestone - even tho it no longer marks the time when he can be given his own front door key to the family home! He has been a home owner and living in his own house for a many months now.
My back is still the dominant factor in ym life. I managed a session of step plus on the wii fit - but was getting clear signals that I shouldn't do any more.
I hadn't realised quite how much I rely psychologically on my workout routine. Not being able to do it makes me panic.I almost feel I can fell the pounds piling on whihc is silly. As long as I stick to Paul's rules I won't.
I got my ticket yesterday for the event on the 30th! Everything seems to be prompting me to really look at how I am managing with the 4 golden rules. Yesterday I didnt do too well. I ate too many biscuits when I wasn't really hungry.
Today I will do better
Friday 15 January 2010
Patience is a virtue
Poise in the face of frustration
Whether waiting to see a change on the scale, dealing with your coworkers, or diligently putting in work and feeling unappreciated, losing your patience is very easy to do. By exercising patience with all people, you are allowing them to become better and to learn on their own through gentle guidance. One healthy byproduct of self control in the face of frustration is that it usually leads to encouragement and enhancement of your relationships. Happy families and friendships thrive on patience and learning. It may take time to learn, but the results are well worth it!
I know Sparkpeople are right.
I need patience at the moment. having had a good day with my back yesterday this morning it is bad again so I am not doing a work out. But I have (very gently) cleaned the oven (very very gently!) I feel I am in control of my food at the moment - which is good. Two weeks to go until I go to Paul McKenna's day. Hopefully by then I will be fitter and able to act on the extra motivation I will get from that.
I feel down - but not out.
Whether waiting to see a change on the scale, dealing with your coworkers, or diligently putting in work and feeling unappreciated, losing your patience is very easy to do. By exercising patience with all people, you are allowing them to become better and to learn on their own through gentle guidance. One healthy byproduct of self control in the face of frustration is that it usually leads to encouragement and enhancement of your relationships. Happy families and friendships thrive on patience and learning. It may take time to learn, but the results are well worth it!
I know Sparkpeople are right.
I need patience at the moment. having had a good day with my back yesterday this morning it is bad again so I am not doing a work out. But I have (very gently) cleaned the oven (very very gently!) I feel I am in control of my food at the moment - which is good. Two weeks to go until I go to Paul McKenna's day. Hopefully by then I will be fitter and able to act on the extra motivation I will get from that.
I feel down - but not out.
Thursday 14 January 2010
Limiting myself?
Overcoming your personal "stop signs"
Many of us use our "limitations" as a stop sign for reaching our goals. While knowing our limits can safeguard us against injury and embarrassment, too often we use them as avoidance methods in our lives. What is holding you back from reaching your goals? How can you push beyond your comfort zone in a healthy way? Many dieters experience such limitations in on their weight loss journeys. Our bodies and minds are capable of overcoming much more than we could ever imagine if we just try. Today set new goals that may push you a little. Overcoming your personal hang-ups and fears may be one of the most rewarding choices you'll ever make!
When I am in a bad place I look for signposts that may be leading me out. I think I got one yesterday during a chat with Jane when she asked if I was sure I was OK with only a 30 minute lunch break. I think the above reflection may be another one .
I have moved out of my comfort zone. The idea of doing a regular 30 minute workout would have been laughable a year ago. But now I feel frustrated that I can't do it. But I am being given reminders that I can't push my body TOO much.
I think I do need a longer break at work. So I will tell Jane today I will take 45 minutes and stay 15 minutes longer in the evening which I am sure will please them. The extra 15 minutes will give me time to eat slower , maybe buy something more interesting from the cafe, and also do something totally unrelated to pharmacy.
This is not limiting myself to avoid moving out of my comfort zone - this is recognising my limitations.
I think I have been more affected by the evens of last year than I realised. I need to recognise that, adjust - and then I will be able to move on properly.
I did 10 minutes free step this morning. I may try another 10 minutes tonight if my back feels OK. My step count was well down - but the calorie count was still 50. That proves Wendy was SO right when she said the calorie burn figures are inaccurate.
I have taken painkillers this morning and will continue to take them. I don't need all the catecholamines circulating in my body as a result of pain. They may speed up my metabolism - but they also raise my blood pressure.
I am NOT superwoman. NO-ONE expects me to be superwoman. I have been pushing myself too hard and need to cut back.
We are going on holiday in 6 weeks - Scotland here we come - another week of 5 star luxury!!
Many of us use our "limitations" as a stop sign for reaching our goals. While knowing our limits can safeguard us against injury and embarrassment, too often we use them as avoidance methods in our lives. What is holding you back from reaching your goals? How can you push beyond your comfort zone in a healthy way? Many dieters experience such limitations in on their weight loss journeys. Our bodies and minds are capable of overcoming much more than we could ever imagine if we just try. Today set new goals that may push you a little. Overcoming your personal hang-ups and fears may be one of the most rewarding choices you'll ever make!
When I am in a bad place I look for signposts that may be leading me out. I think I got one yesterday during a chat with Jane when she asked if I was sure I was OK with only a 30 minute lunch break. I think the above reflection may be another one .
I have moved out of my comfort zone. The idea of doing a regular 30 minute workout would have been laughable a year ago. But now I feel frustrated that I can't do it. But I am being given reminders that I can't push my body TOO much.
I think I do need a longer break at work. So I will tell Jane today I will take 45 minutes and stay 15 minutes longer in the evening which I am sure will please them. The extra 15 minutes will give me time to eat slower , maybe buy something more interesting from the cafe, and also do something totally unrelated to pharmacy.
This is not limiting myself to avoid moving out of my comfort zone - this is recognising my limitations.
I think I have been more affected by the evens of last year than I realised. I need to recognise that, adjust - and then I will be able to move on properly.
I did 10 minutes free step this morning. I may try another 10 minutes tonight if my back feels OK. My step count was well down - but the calorie count was still 50. That proves Wendy was SO right when she said the calorie burn figures are inaccurate.
I have taken painkillers this morning and will continue to take them. I don't need all the catecholamines circulating in my body as a result of pain. They may speed up my metabolism - but they also raise my blood pressure.
I am NOT superwoman. NO-ONE expects me to be superwoman. I have been pushing myself too hard and need to cut back.
We are going on holiday in 6 weeks - Scotland here we come - another week of 5 star luxury!!
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Getting out of the bad place
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Battle scars from the Diet War
Like Martha Graham, who said that "The body is a sacred garment. It's your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor," Jenny Craig seems to know a thing or two about caring for your body and your self. In the Garden of Eden, eating was modeled as one of life's most pleasurable experiences. But then Eve took a bite out of that apple (so much for the low calorie, low fat, high fiber theory), and women (and men) have been at war with food ever since. Both of these quotes reflect this fact. Are your weight issues really a symptom of something else--boredom, depression, regret, or rejection? At the root of many issues is our self-loathing at worst, our self-indifference at best. Food is not the enemy. We are. Break the cycle of dieting and replace it with loving yourself enough to make good choices about your diet. Examine your eating habits this week. Are you honoring your body with your food choices? How can you love yourself back to a healthy relationship with eating? Take steps towards defeating the natural compulsion or craving that might take you down a path of regretful eating. Remember the sacredness of your own skin.
The above was todays healthy reflection from sparkpeople.
On a morning when I am feeling down because my food management yesterday was less than perfect, and I am debating whether exercise is going to do my back more harm than good, the above reflection was a reminder that my over arching resolution for this year was to remember that I matter.
OK so my food choices have not been the best - but they have been better than they used to be. And I dont feel deprived of anything knowing that NOTHING or forbidden if I really want it.
My back is clearly telling me NOT to work out. I will keep moving by going to work (assuming I can get there in the snow but that is a different issue!) so that ends my debate over exercise ended. My body is telling me 'no'
By listening to my body and honouring its wishes I am loving myself . I am NOT a failure. The fact that I can recognise means )I hope) that I am getting out ouf the bad place I was in yesterday and will move forward.
Tuesday 12 January 2010
More bad news
Having not done a work out this morning I attempted a session tonight. I had to give up because step aerobics was hurting my back and giving me sciatica. I am gutted. This has got to due to the problems I have had with the snow .
Really REALLY fed up - and in the mood to eat lots of the wrong sort of stuff - but that won't make me or my back better.
I need to get a TENS machine I think. Maybe I can get one on the way to worl tomorrow.
Really REALLY fed up - and in the mood to eat lots of the wrong sort of stuff - but that won't make me or my back better.
I need to get a TENS machine I think. Maybe I can get one on the way to worl tomorrow.
A really awful day
Work was bad - everything I got involved in seemed to have problems to be sorted out.
And when I got back to my car I discovered a note under my windscreen telling me not very politely not to park their because ' these are our homes' While I have some sympathy there are no yellow lines, I dont park dangerously and I always take care not to park where I would block anyones drive. So sadly they cannot actually prevent me parking - but its not nice to feel you are causing animosity.
I am using this blog as primal scream therapy. venting my feelings here so I dont get stressed and start eating all the wrong things.
People at work kept asking me if I was OK today. I am aware of being stressed but can't actually say why. Its worrying. But one thing is for sure - overeating won't reduce my stress.
I will eat when I am hungry, eat SLOWLY and stop BEFORE I am full
And when I got back to my car I discovered a note under my windscreen telling me not very politely not to park their because ' these are our homes' While I have some sympathy there are no yellow lines, I dont park dangerously and I always take care not to park where I would block anyones drive. So sadly they cannot actually prevent me parking - but its not nice to feel you are causing animosity.
I am using this blog as primal scream therapy. venting my feelings here so I dont get stressed and start eating all the wrong things.
People at work kept asking me if I was OK today. I am aware of being stressed but can't actually say why. Its worrying. But one thing is for sure - overeating won't reduce my stress.
I will eat when I am hungry, eat SLOWLY and stop BEFORE I am full
Plodding
Thats all I can do walking in this *********** snow. I have had a few near misses - but haven't actually fallen so far. But the near misses are taking a toll on my back which is very unhappy at the moment
Food went well until the evening yesterday. MHL is in a the middle of a 7 night run and for some reason it seems to be an excuse to snack. We have loads of stuff in left over from christmas. It isnt emotional eating - at least I dont think it is. I dont feel stressed or emotional. But maybe it was. Work ended on a bad note and maybe I brought some angst home with me.
I clocked up a massive 194 calories in exercise yesterday with an extra 20 minutes free step. I only meant to do 10 but selected the wrong option. I think that may be another reason why my back is unhappy .
This morning I am undecided what to do with the wii fit - if anything. Doing a 'beyond choc' tune in
Physical - discomfort in my back.
Emotion - worry
Thought - dont really want to anything today workout or work.
Sadly I can't act on that last thought I MUST move and get to work. The wii fit can wait I have decided.
I am not hungry this morning at all. In fact I don't think my needs are physical at all. I think they are mental and spiritual. So this morning I will concentrate on that. As long as I have fruit and cereal bars available I don't have to worry about feeling hungry at work. And I always enjoy them . If I fancy something like a fried egg sandwich I can always have one later in the day - and thought keeps the majority of craving s away.
Arrgghhh things feel as if they are getting messy.
I just found this form beyond chocolate in an email about why we overeat
Overeating is a habit for a good reason, because in the moment it works, it does what we want it to do, it soothes, distracts, stuffs, comforts, punishes... when we overeat we don't have to say no to ourselves or to anyone else, we don't have to deal with tricky situations or people or feelings...
It was the word 'punish' that stood out so I suspect that may be part of my problem - but if it is what am I punishing myself for?
Something to think about.
Food went well until the evening yesterday. MHL is in a the middle of a 7 night run and for some reason it seems to be an excuse to snack. We have loads of stuff in left over from christmas. It isnt emotional eating - at least I dont think it is. I dont feel stressed or emotional. But maybe it was. Work ended on a bad note and maybe I brought some angst home with me.
I clocked up a massive 194 calories in exercise yesterday with an extra 20 minutes free step. I only meant to do 10 but selected the wrong option. I think that may be another reason why my back is unhappy .
This morning I am undecided what to do with the wii fit - if anything. Doing a 'beyond choc' tune in
Physical - discomfort in my back.
Emotion - worry
Thought - dont really want to anything today workout or work.
Sadly I can't act on that last thought I MUST move and get to work. The wii fit can wait I have decided.
I am not hungry this morning at all. In fact I don't think my needs are physical at all. I think they are mental and spiritual. So this morning I will concentrate on that. As long as I have fruit and cereal bars available I don't have to worry about feeling hungry at work. And I always enjoy them . If I fancy something like a fried egg sandwich I can always have one later in the day - and thought keeps the majority of craving s away.
Arrgghhh things feel as if they are getting messy.
I just found this form beyond chocolate in an email about why we overeat
Overeating is a habit for a good reason, because in the moment it works, it does what we want it to do, it soothes, distracts, stuffs, comforts, punishes... when we overeat we don't have to say no to ourselves or to anyone else, we don't have to deal with tricky situations or people or feelings...
It was the word 'punish' that stood out so I suspect that may be part of my problem - but if it is what am I punishing myself for?
Something to think about.
Monday 11 January 2010
New week motivation
Hopefully this will be the start of my first full week at work since the holiday. I have no doubt the exercise will be good for me - and it will be great to be earning money again.
I am unuusally for me listeningto Radio 2 as I type this. I got interested by the hype surrounding Chris Evans first record. I think he made a great choice ' All you need is love' He mucked up with the bbc years ago - but got his act together and I suspect will be a brilliant replacement for Wogan. I realise I have mucked up over the holidays - but I can get my act together too.
I have done a full workout - 29 minutes and 134 calories. 10 minutes free step tonight will see me overshoot both targets as I normally do. And I feel vert energised by the workout - not wrung out as I was last week so I reckon I am finally getting over whatever it was that had me laid low last week.
I haven't eaten yet - but I am pleasantly hungry. Not ravenous but hungry enough that I know I need to eat - rather than just wanting to eat!
Time to get one
I am unuusally for me listeningto Radio 2 as I type this. I got interested by the hype surrounding Chris Evans first record. I think he made a great choice ' All you need is love' He mucked up with the bbc years ago - but got his act together and I suspect will be a brilliant replacement for Wogan. I realise I have mucked up over the holidays - but I can get my act together too.
I have done a full workout - 29 minutes and 134 calories. 10 minutes free step tonight will see me overshoot both targets as I normally do. And I feel vert energised by the workout - not wrung out as I was last week so I reckon I am finally getting over whatever it was that had me laid low last week.
I haven't eaten yet - but I am pleasantly hungry. Not ravenous but hungry enough that I know I need to eat - rather than just wanting to eat!
Time to get one
Sunday 10 January 2010
Am I being a bit wooly in my goals?
Getting specific about your goals
Are your goals detailed enough for you to reach them? We all have aspirations and we are better off for having made them. But if your goals are too vague or unstructured, you'll find that attaining them is difficult. Wanting to lose 30 pounds is a wonderful goal, but you need a plan to get you on the right track. These things don't happen overnight. Today, think about your goals and form a plan to achieve them. Write them down, chart your progress, refer to them as often as you need to stay on track, and most importantly, hold yourself accountable.
This reflection got me thinking. The last line hit home especially on the morning after the snacking before. Why did I have so much stuff last night? coconut ice, pringles,coconut, and biscuits. So I need to hold myself accountable for tat and work out why I did it? That is not going to be easy but I will try.
Meantime listening to what my body is telling me this morning it is telling me I was a glutton last night and that it doesn't want ANY breakfast at all thank you. That is an easy request to fulfill.
So do I specific goals and a plan to reach them? I think I do. I can do a regular review of how (or whether) I have kept the golden rules. And I have my exercise goals.
The only reason I will fail is if I give up on myself , or am dishonest about whether I am really sticking to the rules. I didnt yesterday thats for certain. But that was yesterday, today is another day and I can do better
Are your goals detailed enough for you to reach them? We all have aspirations and we are better off for having made them. But if your goals are too vague or unstructured, you'll find that attaining them is difficult. Wanting to lose 30 pounds is a wonderful goal, but you need a plan to get you on the right track. These things don't happen overnight. Today, think about your goals and form a plan to achieve them. Write them down, chart your progress, refer to them as often as you need to stay on track, and most importantly, hold yourself accountable.
This reflection got me thinking. The last line hit home especially on the morning after the snacking before. Why did I have so much stuff last night? coconut ice, pringles,coconut, and biscuits. So I need to hold myself accountable for tat and work out why I did it? That is not going to be easy but I will try.
Meantime listening to what my body is telling me this morning it is telling me I was a glutton last night and that it doesn't want ANY breakfast at all thank you. That is an easy request to fulfill.
So do I specific goals and a plan to reach them? I think I do. I can do a regular review of how (or whether) I have kept the golden rules. And I have my exercise goals.
The only reason I will fail is if I give up on myself , or am dishonest about whether I am really sticking to the rules. I didnt yesterday thats for certain. But that was yesterday, today is another day and I can do better
Saturday 9 January 2010
Lets here it for the weekend
I survived work OK - but cancelled going out last night - and I didnt do a work out last night - I was too tired.
Today I have had a productive day. I have done a 20 minutes workout (step plus x 2 and 12 minutes boxing) I have got to grips with paperwork that needed doing. I have been out shopping (just as it started to snow :-( ) And I have had a chat to Denise for the first time in over a year - which is great.
I am now settling down to some serious relaxation for the rest of the weekend - and hoping the weather doesn't deteriorate too much. I will probably complete the 30 minutes exercise during the day but that is it.
My body and my mind are telling me I need to chill for a bit -so that is what I am doing
Today I have had a productive day. I have done a 20 minutes workout (step plus x 2 and 12 minutes boxing) I have got to grips with paperwork that needed doing. I have been out shopping (just as it started to snow :-( ) And I have had a chat to Denise for the first time in over a year - which is great.
I am now settling down to some serious relaxation for the rest of the weekend - and hoping the weather doesn't deteriorate too much. I will probably complete the 30 minutes exercise during the day but that is it.
My body and my mind are telling me I need to chill for a bit -so that is what I am doing
Friday 8 January 2010
One day to the weekend
Going back to work on a Thursday or Friday after a spell off is always a good psychological trick for me. Not having to face a full week when yo go back is a good way of breaking yourself in gradually.
I weas affected far more by work than I thought I would be. But thinking about the probable causes of my malady I realise I have bounced back far FAR faster than I would have done before. Whether I can give credit to jeanagh's healing essence or my reiki self healing sessions is debatable - but all I can say is something is working.
I have done a short gentle work out this morning. 13 minutes - only 54 calories tho. But I did it and I feel energised by it.
Breakfast was porridge which I ate before my workout - becasue I was hungry. I am taking the other half of lasts night dinner for my lunch today at work. I am still hungry so I will no doubt have some toast before I embark on the trek to work - a trek that worries me again as we had record low temperatures last night so I know the roads will be icy.
I weas affected far more by work than I thought I would be. But thinking about the probable causes of my malady I realise I have bounced back far FAR faster than I would have done before. Whether I can give credit to jeanagh's healing essence or my reiki self healing sessions is debatable - but all I can say is something is working.
I have done a short gentle work out this morning. 13 minutes - only 54 calories tho. But I did it and I feel energised by it.
Breakfast was porridge which I ate before my workout - becasue I was hungry. I am taking the other half of lasts night dinner for my lunch today at work. I am still hungry so I will no doubt have some toast before I embark on the trek to work - a trek that worries me again as we had record low temperatures last night so I know the roads will be icy.
Thursday 7 January 2010
Post work report
Well I made it to work and back OK. I found I did need to sit down more than usual at work - but I coped with work OK. The journey was not as bad as I feared.
At lunch I listened to my body and ate both my sandwiches. I haven't had any biscuits since I got home and I could only eat half my dinner. I have had an insane urge for chocalte over the past hour whihc I have yielded to and enjoyed some quality street and one piece of my Toblerone - and I know I dont want any more chocolate now.
I have done a workout since I got home and overshot both time and calorie targets by wide margins.
So the slow start to the day has paid off
At lunch I listened to my body and ate both my sandwiches. I haven't had any biscuits since I got home and I could only eat half my dinner. I have had an insane urge for chocalte over the past hour whihc I have yielded to and enjoyed some quality street and one piece of my Toblerone - and I know I dont want any more chocolate now.
I have done a workout since I got home and overshot both time and calorie targets by wide margins.
So the slow start to the day has paid off
Back to work .
Yesterday there was a lot of talk about choices. Well this morning I ave made a conscious choice NOT to do a workout. I have the energy to do, I am quite sure I could manage it. But I want to make sure I will be OK standing up for five and a half hours at work, and the stress of driving 22 miles in conditions that I am really worried about. I can always so my work out when I get home.
It is freezing here this morning. I found when I drove Rob home last night that the roads are horrible. This morning even the main roads will be icy I suspect. So I need to allow myself plenty of time to drive the 11 miles to work. And I will be going on the main roads even tho it is slightly longer. I am terrified by the possible state of Mucklow Hill - and also the risk of being held up by an accident because of someone elses stupid driving.
My food choices yesterday were mainyl good - but deteriorated last night while watching the ppv with Rob round. I think it was nerves about having to drive that fueled the snack fest.
I am worried about getting to work,including being worried about the walk from the car to the hospital, worried about coping AT work, and worried about my son who is stressed. I can't do much for my son except pray for him and be there for him. My travel worries can only be dealt with by giving myself plenty of time to travel. Coping at work is in the lap of the gods - but I know I will stand a better chance of coping if I am not stressed.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be wondering what I was worried about!
It is freezing here this morning. I found when I drove Rob home last night that the roads are horrible. This morning even the main roads will be icy I suspect. So I need to allow myself plenty of time to drive the 11 miles to work. And I will be going on the main roads even tho it is slightly longer. I am terrified by the possible state of Mucklow Hill - and also the risk of being held up by an accident because of someone elses stupid driving.
My food choices yesterday were mainyl good - but deteriorated last night while watching the ppv with Rob round. I think it was nerves about having to drive that fueled the snack fest.
I am worried about getting to work,including being worried about the walk from the car to the hospital, worried about coping AT work, and worried about my son who is stressed. I can't do much for my son except pray for him and be there for him. My travel worries can only be dealt with by giving myself plenty of time to travel. Coping at work is in the lap of the gods - but I know I will stand a better chance of coping if I am not stressed.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be wondering what I was worried about!
Wednesday 6 January 2010
Ready for work again
This morning I am doing a dry run for returning to work tomorrow. So it is 7.40 am and I am up, have done a 30 minute workout including jogging and boxing and am now blogging while I decide if I am hungry and what I want for breakfast.
I ended up snacking again yesterday. It was prompted by anxiety over my son. He is having problems with his dissertation but I suspect part of the problem is that he isnt acknowledging his bereavement when Edna died and that he has been under a lot of stress worrying about me - which I know he does. For a 20 year old he has been through so much in the past couple of years. I suggested to him that it may be an idea for him to go and talk to someone professionally and he just sort of nodded. It all gives me an extra incentive to look after my health so he isn't worrying about me.
I am truly blessed to have a son who cares so much about me.
So yesterday was a mixed day. Food wasn't brilliant. Exercise was good. I overshot both targets by quite a bit as I did an extra 20 minutes free step last night.
I am still making progress on getting practical issues sorted out. I am seeing a finacial adviser today to work out how I can best use my legacy.
I have realised that although I have not managed food as well as I would have wanted over the past few days there is very visible evidence of how my attitude has changed. We still have mince pies left, we still have sauasge rolls left, I have only had 2 pieces of my HUGE toblerone bar and we have 1 opened tin of Quality street hardly dented, 1 tin still sealed and a box of Heroes unopened. I must admit the Allsorts have all gone though . The stilton cheese is also untouched.
The old me would not be syaing that on 12th Night! So something IS working and I am looking forward to my 'I can make you thin' event with Paul McKenna at the end of the month.
I ended up snacking again yesterday. It was prompted by anxiety over my son. He is having problems with his dissertation but I suspect part of the problem is that he isnt acknowledging his bereavement when Edna died and that he has been under a lot of stress worrying about me - which I know he does. For a 20 year old he has been through so much in the past couple of years. I suggested to him that it may be an idea for him to go and talk to someone professionally and he just sort of nodded. It all gives me an extra incentive to look after my health so he isn't worrying about me.
I am truly blessed to have a son who cares so much about me.
So yesterday was a mixed day. Food wasn't brilliant. Exercise was good. I overshot both targets by quite a bit as I did an extra 20 minutes free step last night.
I am still making progress on getting practical issues sorted out. I am seeing a finacial adviser today to work out how I can best use my legacy.
I have realised that although I have not managed food as well as I would have wanted over the past few days there is very visible evidence of how my attitude has changed. We still have mince pies left, we still have sauasge rolls left, I have only had 2 pieces of my HUGE toblerone bar and we have 1 opened tin of Quality street hardly dented, 1 tin still sealed and a box of Heroes unopened. I must admit the Allsorts have all gone though . The stilton cheese is also untouched.
The old me would not be syaing that on 12th Night! So something IS working and I am looking forward to my 'I can make you thin' event with Paul McKenna at the end of the month.
Tuesday 5 January 2010
Feeling - and doing - better
I have listened to my body for the past few days and not pushed myself to do things I didnt have the energy for. As a result I do feel better. I have more energy. And this morning I proved it by doing a normal workout including jogging and boxing.
So I have hit my 30 minute goal but am 11 calories shy of the calorie goal. 10 minutes free step later in the day and I will be done.
Food still hasn't been going well at all. I havent been eating slowly enough and I have been snacking. But I was very taken by the idea of visualising the steps you need to take to get thin - whihc is something Paul suggests anyway. So I am going to spend a few minutes a day visualising myself eating really slowly and se what happens.
Today for the first time I have got myself a glass of water during the day (I always have water overnight!) So I am begining to get back into better habits. My physical health is better - so my mental health is better. Its not rocket science is it? And its al because I DID listen to my body and take the decision not to go to work for a few days.
I booked myself on an OU course yetserday. 'Starting with psychology' I have already recorded on my CPD portfolio!
I havent yet drawn up a time mangment plan - but will do so at some point today. Today it is snowing - and I mean SNOWING. So I aint going out!
After a sticky start to the year things are starting to get back on track
So I have hit my 30 minute goal but am 11 calories shy of the calorie goal. 10 minutes free step later in the day and I will be done.
Food still hasn't been going well at all. I havent been eating slowly enough and I have been snacking. But I was very taken by the idea of visualising the steps you need to take to get thin - whihc is something Paul suggests anyway. So I am going to spend a few minutes a day visualising myself eating really slowly and se what happens.
Today for the first time I have got myself a glass of water during the day (I always have water overnight!) So I am begining to get back into better habits. My physical health is better - so my mental health is better. Its not rocket science is it? And its al because I DID listen to my body and take the decision not to go to work for a few days.
I booked myself on an OU course yetserday. 'Starting with psychology' I have already recorded on my CPD portfolio!
I havent yet drawn up a time mangment plan - but will do so at some point today. Today it is snowing - and I mean SNOWING. So I aint going out!
After a sticky start to the year things are starting to get back on track
Monday 4 January 2010
Finding the silver lining
Lets be honest this isn't the start to the year I wanted, feeling distinctly under the weather and not able to cope with work. But on the plus side it does give me time to do other things and maybe make some progress in non work related areas.
Also I am sticking to my over arching resolution to realise that I matter and to take care of myself. Whether my aversion to work is mental or physical - and its probably a mix of both I owe it to myself to deal with the issues.
Food yesterday was a disaster. I ate mindlessly. I also couldn't do a workout. But I wasn't - and still am not well. It was only one day, today is a new day - and it has started better. I have hot both my time and calorie goals this morning - but boy do I know I have done it. I still need an infusion of energy. But it wasn't an efficient workout. Well over the time goal but only JUST over the calorie goal. I still dont feel up to anything like jogging or ryhthm boxing. But the 10 minutes of free stepping I did at the end did give an opportunity to do some active meditation (Thank you Mr Wells!)
I have realised that I need to look at my time managment strategies to cope with everything I need to do
My regular 'to do' list includes
exercise (30 minutes a day)
PFM exercises (can be done watching tv)
meditation (15 minutes a day)
CPD (an hour a week)
housework (30 minutes or so when I am getting ready for work)
work (5.5 hours a day mon-fri)
sally haynes ltd issues (1 hour a week)
Blogging (time depends on how much I have report but 30 minutes a day on average)
Psychic circle ( including travel 5 hours every 2 weeks maximum)
OU study - not sure about this its a new thing so time will tell.
It looks and sounds like a lot -but isn't really. I can do quite lot while multi tasking and things like CPD and banking can be done at weekends. I just need to get into a routine and be disciplined.
I waste a lot of time at the moment if I am honest. The internet is seductive - but can waste a lot of time.
Discipline and routine is the key. So I am going to use these days off to sort out a timetable for myself to fit everything in.
Also I am sticking to my over arching resolution to realise that I matter and to take care of myself. Whether my aversion to work is mental or physical - and its probably a mix of both I owe it to myself to deal with the issues.
Food yesterday was a disaster. I ate mindlessly. I also couldn't do a workout. But I wasn't - and still am not well. It was only one day, today is a new day - and it has started better. I have hot both my time and calorie goals this morning - but boy do I know I have done it. I still need an infusion of energy. But it wasn't an efficient workout. Well over the time goal but only JUST over the calorie goal. I still dont feel up to anything like jogging or ryhthm boxing. But the 10 minutes of free stepping I did at the end did give an opportunity to do some active meditation (Thank you Mr Wells!)
I have realised that I need to look at my time managment strategies to cope with everything I need to do
My regular 'to do' list includes
exercise (30 minutes a day)
PFM exercises (can be done watching tv)
meditation (15 minutes a day)
CPD (an hour a week)
housework (30 minutes or so when I am getting ready for work)
work (5.5 hours a day mon-fri)
sally haynes ltd issues (1 hour a week)
Blogging (time depends on how much I have report but 30 minutes a day on average)
Psychic circle ( including travel 5 hours every 2 weeks maximum)
OU study - not sure about this its a new thing so time will tell.
It looks and sounds like a lot -but isn't really. I can do quite lot while multi tasking and things like CPD and banking can be done at weekends. I just need to get into a routine and be disciplined.
I waste a lot of time at the moment if I am honest. The internet is seductive - but can waste a lot of time.
Discipline and routine is the key. So I am going to use these days off to sort out a timetable for myself to fit everything in.
Sunday 3 January 2010
Being childlike rather than childish
From Sparkpeople
'Children are so convinced of their ways and implicitly trust their own instincts. Clearly if it tastes good, it must be good for you! Delight in the experiences of your youth today. Reflect upon the simple pleasures of carefree living. What can you do to indulge yourself in a healthy way? Put down the bills and laundry and have a tea party or puppet show. Take a spin on the swing set or jump on the bed. Not only will you burn off some energy, but you'll also be taken back to an innocent, worry-free time in your life. A time when you wore pajamas with feet and weren't such a big girl. Remember the importance of an occasional childlike moment.'
I know I need to trust my instincts more . I like the bit about 'If it tastes good it mst be good for you' Thats what Paul's programme is all about isn't it?
I am still feeling distinctly unwell. Very tired, total lack of energy, eyes and nose a bit runny. Chest tight - although its better since I did some reiki self healing last night.
I haven't done a full exercise routine for several days because I didnt have the energy. I think I need to remember my new year resolution wasn't about exercise and weight loss but remembering that I matter and that I am worth taking time and trouble over. And if that means not going to work so I can shake off whatever this is - then I dont go to work. Thank god I can afford NOT to go to work for a week.
Food yesterday was MUCH better. This morning I am not hungry - but could drink for Britain. I am going to turn the wii fit on and see what I can do. But I think I will just go for some fun and relaxation rather than calorie burn. But I will stop when I feel my legs dont want to hold me up - or when I hit 30 minutes- whichever comes sooner.
I know routine is important for me if I am to get anywhere in anything and my routine is get up have a drink and use the wii fit. So lets try and stick to that as much as I can. Lets face it kids need routine too!
'Children are so convinced of their ways and implicitly trust their own instincts. Clearly if it tastes good, it must be good for you! Delight in the experiences of your youth today. Reflect upon the simple pleasures of carefree living. What can you do to indulge yourself in a healthy way? Put down the bills and laundry and have a tea party or puppet show. Take a spin on the swing set or jump on the bed. Not only will you burn off some energy, but you'll also be taken back to an innocent, worry-free time in your life. A time when you wore pajamas with feet and weren't such a big girl. Remember the importance of an occasional childlike moment.'
I know I need to trust my instincts more . I like the bit about 'If it tastes good it mst be good for you' Thats what Paul's programme is all about isn't it?
I am still feeling distinctly unwell. Very tired, total lack of energy, eyes and nose a bit runny. Chest tight - although its better since I did some reiki self healing last night.
I haven't done a full exercise routine for several days because I didnt have the energy. I think I need to remember my new year resolution wasn't about exercise and weight loss but remembering that I matter and that I am worth taking time and trouble over. And if that means not going to work so I can shake off whatever this is - then I dont go to work. Thank god I can afford NOT to go to work for a week.
Food yesterday was MUCH better. This morning I am not hungry - but could drink for Britain. I am going to turn the wii fit on and see what I can do. But I think I will just go for some fun and relaxation rather than calorie burn. But I will stop when I feel my legs dont want to hold me up - or when I hit 30 minutes- whichever comes sooner.
I know routine is important for me if I am to get anywhere in anything and my routine is get up have a drink and use the wii fit. So lets try and stick to that as much as I can. Lets face it kids need routine too!
Saturday 2 January 2010
Confession time
Yesterday was a bad day for food and exercise. But I am not well - and to be honest not sure I will make it back to work on Monday.
I lost the plot with food yesterday - but its really been the only day over the holiday I have totally lost the plot with food.
I am not beating myself up about it - I am just resolved to do better today - although whether I will exercise is very doubtful. All I feel fit for is to curl up in front of the tv.
But my body is sending me VERY clear messages at the moment saying dont exercise. As it is also saying don't eat yet I think the messages are genuine and not my wishful thinking.
Not the start to 2010 I wanted
I lost the plot with food yesterday - but its really been the only day over the holiday I have totally lost the plot with food.
I am not beating myself up about it - I am just resolved to do better today - although whether I will exercise is very doubtful. All I feel fit for is to curl up in front of the tv.
But my body is sending me VERY clear messages at the moment saying dont exercise. As it is also saying don't eat yet I think the messages are genuine and not my wishful thinking.
Not the start to 2010 I wanted
Friday 1 January 2010
New year new decade
Awareness through downshifting
Often our first reaction to a stressful situation is to overcompensate and overwork to overcome whatever it is. Sometimes though, the best thing you can do it step away, take a breath, and come back to tackle the problem with a clear head. Replacing important things in your life with work only causes anxiety to build up--not to mention that it takes the joy out of life. Vacation does not have to mean physically leaving your everyday life and jet setting to the beach. Whatever relaxes you, brings more clarity, or calms your mind during times of stress can certainly be enough to rejuvenate! When logic tells you to quicken your pace and pile on the extra work, yet your heart is reminding you of the meaningful time you are neglecting with family, friends, and yourself, it's time to slow down. Often letting off on the gas for a period of time can compose and refocus your mind.
I can relate to that reflection. I guess I have been downshifting for a couple of days. I need to be sure I am ready to upshift again when I go back to work. I still don't feel 100% and it is nothing to do with being hungover because I am not. I didn't drink enough last night.I didnt eat or drink to excess last night. But I did find myself snacking for the sake of it so I can't really say I followed the rules that well.
I did get 20 minute sof exercise in tho which was an improvement on the day before. But I realised when I went to the supermarket that I really wasn't as dynamic as I normally am.
I am so glad this morning I dont have a raft of resolutions to start to try and keep. My reasonable goals for 2010 mean if I don't get to do as much exercise today as I would like I don't immediately have to start feeling guilty. I think the absence of guilt is the best thing about Paul's programme.
I have realised a frightening thing. When the next decade begins I will be really and properly retired. I will be nearly 70. I need to decide what I want my life to look life in 2020 and start working on it now.
Often our first reaction to a stressful situation is to overcompensate and overwork to overcome whatever it is. Sometimes though, the best thing you can do it step away, take a breath, and come back to tackle the problem with a clear head. Replacing important things in your life with work only causes anxiety to build up--not to mention that it takes the joy out of life. Vacation does not have to mean physically leaving your everyday life and jet setting to the beach. Whatever relaxes you, brings more clarity, or calms your mind during times of stress can certainly be enough to rejuvenate! When logic tells you to quicken your pace and pile on the extra work, yet your heart is reminding you of the meaningful time you are neglecting with family, friends, and yourself, it's time to slow down. Often letting off on the gas for a period of time can compose and refocus your mind.
I can relate to that reflection. I guess I have been downshifting for a couple of days. I need to be sure I am ready to upshift again when I go back to work. I still don't feel 100% and it is nothing to do with being hungover because I am not. I didn't drink enough last night.I didnt eat or drink to excess last night. But I did find myself snacking for the sake of it so I can't really say I followed the rules that well.
I did get 20 minute sof exercise in tho which was an improvement on the day before. But I realised when I went to the supermarket that I really wasn't as dynamic as I normally am.
I am so glad this morning I dont have a raft of resolutions to start to try and keep. My reasonable goals for 2010 mean if I don't get to do as much exercise today as I would like I don't immediately have to start feeling guilty. I think the absence of guilt is the best thing about Paul's programme.
I have realised a frightening thing. When the next decade begins I will be really and properly retired. I will be nearly 70. I need to decide what I want my life to look life in 2020 and start working on it now.
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