Just when everything was going smoothly.....

I get thrown a curved ball. Yesterday Geoff told me there is a chance that the Trust's stringent financial targets mean they wont be keeping me on after 1st April. I am not surprised. Despite all the political posturing about spening on the health service being protected . the NHS is going to face a squeeze unlike any it has faced before. So suddenly the future is more uncertain than it was.

So its deep breath time and look at the options. I have an unexpected day off today due to my car having no brake pads. I am supposed to be driving to Coventry tonight and I decided I needed to be sure it WAS OK - and it turns out it wasn't . So it is being fixed - and I can't get to work without a car. So I have a useful day to think and reflect and maybe make a few decisions. Tomorrow I have the meeting to make financial decisions so there is feeling of planning about the way all this is happening.

So in April I may be working at my present hopsital, another hospital, a community pharmacy, or may not be able to find work as a locum because locums are too expensive in a recession - even though we are now officially out of it. The recession always starts and finishes later in public services like the NHS.

I am anxious - but not worried. My FB status last night said it all. This could be a threat or an apportunity and I am determined to be positive about this.

Somehow my health and weight goals are less important than surviving mundane and practical matters. But there is no way I am ignoring them. In fact today I have done the 'overindulged' workout including the jogging. I know I have done it too. I also did the warm up workout. I was going to carry on a do 'legs and hips' but the board kept cutting out - and I decided I was being nudged not to overdo things. I can always do some more later anyway.

I am still excited about te Paul McKenna day on Saturday - even though I can't complete the questionnaire they have sent out because I can't open the file.

Despite the uncertainties of the future I dont feel down, I dont feel tempted to comfort eat. I feel surprsingly in control. If anyone reading this knows anything about tarot - I make a random pick every day and see what message it has for me. Today I picked the hanged man - which is an amzingly apt card - and also very positive under these circumstances. So I feel challenged but ready to grab any opportunity that comes my way.

And I also know I need to be fit to make the most of any opportunities