Persevering through failure

'Of course try, try again, but when you don't succeed at something it's best not to beat yourself up or hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of achievement. Feeling as if you're a failure, simply for not reaching a goal, is not who you truly are. Do you think you're the only one who fails? Of course not! Most problems involve steps to their solution, and solving each step along the way IS an accomplishment. If you become discouraged during your weight loss journey or find your financial aspirations out of reach, keep trying! Some of life's most rewarding experiences make you sweat and persevere through hard times, only to emerge on the other side victorious and wiser for having worked so hard.'

I needed this reflection today. I woke up feeling de-motivated and unergised. Doing a Beyond choc tune in I realised neither my mind NOR my body wanted me to do a work out this morning. So I have decided not attempt anything like 30 minutes. I may do a quick gentle routine later.

But rthe refelction is a good reminder that no-one has total success with no failure in anything they try to do. How many methods did Edision try before he perfected the light bulb?

Even if I dont succeed in losing all the weight I want to, this doesn't make me a bad person. Wjy am I feeling so defensive about myself? I guess its because of a rather bruising debate going on on a professional mailing list about the rights and wrongs of consience clauses. It almost seems as if the anti brigade feel those of us who actually have some respect for the views of others or who - heaven help us - actually have some spirituality and faith are being unprofessional.

I will soon be able to practice as a reiki therapist. At the moment judging from the debate going on about 'magical beleifs' some of my colleagues would feel I should be struck off as a pharmacist for not writing reiki off as a load of b**ll*cks.t. That is not a nice feeling .

I know I am to an extent magnifying and extrapolating but that is probably a sign that I am insecure.. I do need to try and integrate these two extreme sides of myself (the practical scientific pharmacist and the esoteric faith based 'healer').

I spent some time reading and taking part in the debate yesterday evening. My chocolate consumption went up. Cause and effect. The debate yesterday de-motivated me (and was very bad for my blood pressure probably). I think what I am feeling this morning is a hangover from that. So I am sitting here hungry despite eating a bowl of porridge, feeling too lethargic to turn the wii fit on. I can't decide what I want for lunch and if I am not careful I will rush something together that I wont really enjoy so wont eat slowly and then tonight I will be hitting the biscuit barrel again.

Well I will give myself top marks for knowing myself. Now all I need to do is find the way out of this maze. I am sure I will. My mood is determined despite all the agonising.