Two posts in one day is never a good sign. For some reason I feel really down this afternoon. I am hoping doing a blog entry will help me work out what is going on in my head.
I am really looking forward to seeing Paul McKenna tomorrow - but worried I wont get much from it.
I am worried that attempting to combine reiki and my pharmacy skills will lead to problems with some of my peers. Some of them are rabid against complementary therapies. I can just imagine the sorts of comments I would get if I came out and told them I am doing reiki.
The meeting with the financial adviser went OK. Of course I have to wait and see what advice he gives me.
I have contacted another locum agency - but if I want to register with them I need to provide and 2 referees. I have a cv somewhere - but I am unsure who Ic oudl aporach as a referee. Logically that is absurd because Goeff and/or Jane would be suitable, and I am sure Anne would be willing to give me reference. But for some reason I am really frightened by the thought of getting references.
I have done some exercise - 20 minutes of free step. Sadly the endorphins are not doing me much good.
Wtf is WRONG with me??
For some reason I have a hugely negative self image? I am worried Paul wont think I am worth helping, I am worried people wont give me good references. I am worried how my peers may see me if I come out and admit my reiki training.
Well if there's one thing I know Paul WILL be working on tomorrow its our self image. So help is at hand. All I have to do is get through the rest of today without imploding and having a biscuit fest.
The debates on Private-Rx have been quite robust and I find myself in a minority quite often. I have unsubscribed because I am fed up of worrying about how I think they think about me. In fact at the moment I feel very discontected from my profession.
I am guessing its becasue I feel my profession doesn't value me . The debates are happening at the same time as Geoff has warned me they may not be able to keep me on. I finally have it. I am facing what I feel are 2 'rejections' by my profession. No wonder my self image is bruised.
At least I know the problem now - and I do feel a bit better now
Good old blog - helped me again to work sort my head out
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