A low point

As I type this I SHOULD be getting ready to give reiki at the pamper day at the hospice. But I feeling rather rough. I was fine until I went swimming and then suddenly I felt a bit down and my IBS seemed to be more of a problem and the thought of being at the hospice suddenly seemed too much to cope with. So instead of heading off to Solihull I headed home. I really didn't WANT to be at the hospice. I want to give reiki but for some reason today the procedures and processes at the hospice - and dealing with Jean just seem too much. Why am I feeling like this? Yesterday work went OK, but I did have a stressful end with a a rather heated discussion with a nurse from the Day Unit over their attempt to get round pharmacy procedures. I felt railroaded into giving in, largely because I wasn't entirely sure how management would react. I am never sure whether Maurenn will support her staff when they make a stand. Luckily when I told Pam what had happened she agreed that what they were trying to do was incorrect. Then this morning when Tony woke up he was down because he got no calls last night and was saying he didn't know what to do about working at the tv channel. Then when we were swimming Maggie and I ended up talking about Betty, Sheila, Tony;s past, his relationship with Sheila................... Plus the pool was full of school kids, and VERY noisy with quite a few adult swimmers all crowded into about 2/3 of the pool. Then there is Jane and her diagnosis of AF and the warfarin saga. It seems to have highlighted what I feel is the bad relationship I have with her. All in all I had a lot of issues rattling around in my brain that were pulling me down. OK doing a tune in I am very aware of my IBS, emotionally I feel down, I feel physically tired. I need to do some self healing. I have spent so much time and effort helping other people, that I have been forgetting about me. The water is heating for a bath as I type this. I did meditate this morning before I went out. I think I will have a self healing session and see if that helps. But I am sure I am right where I am meant to be at the moment. What I do have to work out is if the problems I feel I have with people are real - or all in my head