Drained of energy

I feel totally drained of energy at the moment. Despite my brave words this morning everything feels as if it falling apart. I have just got back from a visit to Edna which has does nothing to make me feel better. Details of that are in the other blog.

Between tiredness and depression (not clinical depression!) I feel very lethargic and find it difficult to focus on things. That is why I have not gone to work today.

Tonight I was supposed to be running a game for the role playing group - but that means I have got to be mentally alert - plus the game is at Andy's (not here) so I have got to move. I have decided I cant face itand have called it off. I dont have the energy to move, and to be honest I dont feel like being sociable and talking to people.

And that is the main reason why I dont want to go to Rachel and Tylers's wedding tomorrow. Plus the fact that I was planning on getting my outfit on Tuesday - and of course in the end didnt have the time or energy to.. My idea of hell at the moment is a large social do where I have to talk to people. I dont want to talk to people.

I did go for a walk this morning, and I have actually made moves to sort out some the things I mentioned this morning were on my mind. But I have been sitting here eating chocolate and biscuits since getting home from the hospital.

So at the moment I am in full on 'I hate myself' mode. Not just because the sensible eating has gone by the boeard -but because I am worried how other people will feel about me pulling out of things - especially Rachel and Tyler.

But if I have a quietish weekend just doing what I really NEED to do, I should get some of my energy back and at least be able to cope with work next week.