Its stupidly early o'clock but I can't sleep. I was due to go down to see Mum today to help Jane but she died yesterday evening. I expected it, and it is to an extent a releif. But I am very worried about how Jane will cope. I am also worried about me. I am numb. I haven't really cried and I know that isn't normal. Its all too soon after Alan's death and all the grief that caused. I am dreading the funeral. I don't think Steve ought to go to Mum's funeral. He didn't know her that well, and I am worried about it stirring up memeories of Alan's funeral and stirring up emotions he isn't ready to deal with. But I am positive he will want to come to support me.
I don't know what to do about that. I also don't know what I ought to do about work. I don't know if I am capable of working or not. A lot will deend on how well I sleep. I wouldn't be fit today thats for sure but I must tell work what has happened today.
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