On autopilot

I didn't even make an entry yesterday. I don't have anything specifically to say at the moment except that everything is still crap and I still feel numb. I'm going down to Wycombe today to help out and I'm dreading it. But I'm moving on autopilot

Yesterday I was autopilot for eating too whihc is hardly suprising, but today I am going to try to stick to the 4 rules.

I have got to feel I have control over some part of my life (food), even if most of the rest is in total chaos. If Iwas anorexic that last statement would be very worrying since all anorexics starve themselves because they want control over something. Maybe I should be worried that I feel like that. I know mentally I'm not at my best at the moment (understatemnet of the year? decade?) and I don't need unresolved mental health problems on top of everything else.