Stress stress and more stress

It must be bad becasue I'm making a second entry today.

I havent been able to contact the doctor about Edna's medication - they had an extra days bank holiday today.

Work was very tiring - and I had a low stress tolerance becasue I was worried about Edna's medication.

Then tonight I got a phone call from NPower about the gas /electric supplies at Steve's house. Some months ago before the renovations started on the house I spotted an NPower bill addressed to a Mr T Luck at my Steves house. I opepend it to see it was a final demand for an unpaid bill. So I ramng them to say you have the wrong address. The current owner is Mr Steve Haynes, the previous owner was Mr Alan Haynes (My ex husband) who bought the house in the late 70's from A Dr Patrick Cadigan. No Mr Luck has ever lived there. They apologised and said 'dont worry we'll sort it out' Sionce then they have threatned to send int he bailiffs, and threatened to cut off the supplies to the house - and each time when they checked their records they saw the note of my call aplogised and said they would sort it............ Tonight they rang saying that according to the natinal grid they DID supply the gas and electrivc to Steve's address. When I said that the supplies had never been changed after my ex dies and that British Gas supply both gas and electric . Yet again they aplogised and said they would sort it .

I DONT NEED THIS STRESS AT THE MOMENT!!!!!! Anyway I have contacted the ombudsman, Steve is in the middle of exams and I will not distract him from that.

I could cry -I really could. I havent felt this stressed in ages.

But somehow I havent binged - and I've made a better at thew rules today than I have for a few days now.

Now to answer a question. How did my mother ruin my self image? She had weight problems as a child and was perpetually on a diet while I was growing up. She cosntantly nagged me about my weight and I think i was put on my first diet at the age of 14 - or possibly even younger. When I look at photos of myself then I wasnt really overweight - but inside I always felt like the 'fat kid' and it stayed with me. My weight only really went out of control when I left home - because I didnt have the foggiest idea about good nutrition or a balanced diet . I couldnt even have told you what a normal healthy calorie intake was for a adult. I just new about different diets - and hated them!!

So Mum's actined damaged my self image - but in the end I was the one who put the food in my mouth so I dont blame her for my weight problems . But I still see myself as the 'fat kid' and I now beleive that is one reason why I have found it so ard ti lose weight. At my heaviest I weighed 16st 5lbs - but that was manby years ago - my present 14 st and a bit is a lot better. But I did get down to 10 stone 17 years ago - but the weight crept up again as my marriage fell apart and my self image took another pounding due to Alan's drinking.

Oh dear I really AM feeling sorry for myself tonight - and it doesnt do me any good. I am concentrating on how rotten things have been - thats because I feel out of control of 2 key problems - Edna's drugs and the NPower fiasco.

Hopefully I will feel more positive and in control tomorrow