Yesterday was such a bad day from the point of view of weight management. I felt hungry all day. But because I was at work I couldn't just go and eat. I had to wait. So of course when I DID get the chance to eat it was so hard to eat slowly. Also I wasn't particularly inspired by the sandwich I made myself for lunch. So it was very diffciult to really savour each mouthful. Even dinner was decided on speed of cooking and availability of ingredients rather than primarily being what I fancied. But I did fancy rice so that was what we had.
In terms of Pauls rules the day was total disaster. I couldnt even manage to drink because I have now been banned from keeping a cup with me in the dispensary.
And just to really put the out of date icing on a maggotty cake my left knee was really painful by yesterday afternoon. I spent most of yesterday standing up. I think that combined with the more energetic workout I chose yesterday morning - including 20 reps of the lunge - was a bit too much. It did ease off once I could sit down.
But today is a new day . My aim with following Paul's rules is to develpe is a new heatlthier relationcship with food so that I lose weight and keep it off. Yesterday didnt ruin that. It has given me things to think about but despite it going badly, I didnt binge.
The bad news is I am sitting here feeling ravenously hungry again. As I have nearly finished my breakfast I know this is emotional hunger and cleasrly that is the issue I have to deal with. Trouble is I cant clearly identify what is causing the emotion.
One positive thing that I can take away from yesterday is increased faith in visualisation. I got a parking space again with very little hassle and much less stress than normal. So I am hoping my new weight loss visualisation will help. I am visualising the scales reading 13st and 13lbs. It may sound silly but I used the phrase as a mantra to meditate with. Also when I am free steping I sometimes use a 'mantra ' to keep in the rhythm. Guess what mantra I used yesterday during my 20 minutes free stepping yesterday evening?
Yesterday wasn't a total disaster. I managed 40 minutes on the Wiifit compared with less than 15 on the two previous days despite my dodgy knee.
As ever blogging is helping me to focus my thoughts and sort out issues. Right now my issue is I have to go and do Edna's shopping for her. I also may have to go and shout at her pharmacy if they didnt get her medication to her yesterday as they promised. And I know in future these things will be regular parts of my life. My life is changing . The factt that I saw this type of change coming when I started this blog (hence the title) doesnt make the changes easier to manage, doesnt make them painless. It doesnt take away the worry that even only working 30 hours a week I may not be able to cope well with Edna's probably increasing needs.
So I dont really want to wipe out yesterday. I have gained insights from yesterday. I just hope I can use those insights constructively
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1 comment:
It so does not sound silly! I think we share a lot of beliefs :)
Might need to visualise walking with a pain free knee as well
I bought a great book in Australia that is a year long diary that encourages visualisation and positive thought. I am going to sit down and read it properly and start writing - i will have lots of time as mat is away
The book is called "Living and Exceptional Life - Bringing the Inspiration of Dreams into Reality"
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