Mastering your past

'Take a moment to look at the circumstances of your world. Is it what you want to see? What could you do differently to take one step closer to your ideal vision? We're all dealt different hands in life. That's how things are. To change things, you have to first accept that fact, then figure out where to go from here. We should all be able to count on each other for help, but in the end, we can't expect anyone to change our lives except ourselves. Nor should we want it that way. It's natural to feel powerless and give up in the face of hardships, but complaining and blaming do nothing except prevent action. Without positive action, you're giving up your power and asking for more of the same--a world you did not create. Where you start may not be your fault, but the course you run is still your choosing.'



The above was of course from Spark People. It is almost pure CYLI7D. I did not chose to be where I am at the moment . I can look back at my life and identify my Mum as the main suorce of my weight problems. Without meaning to the self image she gave me of myself was of a fat person. She gave me the self image - but I put the food in my mouth. My 10 years or more of depression was due to Alan's alcohol problems. I didnt ask Alan to have a drinking problem - but it was me that chose to stay in that situation for so long.

The fact that I can understand how and why I find myself in my current situation doesnt help me manage it any better. I am the only one who can do that by recognising that I need to take action if I am not happy with something - and that includes my wieght.

The trouble is as Paul's book makes clear there is a huge emotional component to eating. So you cannot deal with weight issues in isolation from your other issues.

So this morning I am fed up to put it mildly becasue for the second day in a row I am sitting here feeling ravenously hungry. I have had breakfast which I tried to eat slowly - but failed. And 2 pieces of toast are already in the toaster . Part of the problem is that I can't take action on one of my main issues until tomorrow - as today is a bank holiday. The upside to that is that I dont have to work today either - which is just as well becasue I am tired.

I also didnt have much sucess with meditation yesterday despite my determination to try. I was so tired when I went to bed all I could manage was a short meditative reading that I didnt really meditate on.

But I am where I am and all I can do is work out how to move in the right direction from here. And the whole picture isnt black. I didnt binge yesterday, and I did my 30 minutes on the Wiifit. I also took some actions becasue I started tidying the garage and I stripped the varnish off the coat hook rails that will be going back up in the cloakroom. Home needs a lot of work done to it and we are working through the list slowly but surely. The cloakroom is our current project and although most of it is being done by a professional we are doing what we can ourselves.

Having just seen a story on the news about diet and cancers I know my overall diet is healthier than a lot of peoples. And I will give myself a large pat on the back for the toast I have just eaten. 25 minutes to eat 2 pieces. Sadly I am still feeling hungry :-(

But I know this is emotional so I will have another drink (I've already had 2 mugs of coffee) and turn on the Wiifit. If I still feel hungry when I've done a workout and had a drink I will try the tapping technique - something I have never done because frankly I've not been convinced by the supposed science behind it. But that attitude sits very poorly with my personal experiences of the paranormal -which a lot of people would write off as rubbish with no science behind it, I need to try the techniquwe consistently and see what happens. After all visualisations DO work and there is no clear scientific explanation for that either.