Stress management

As my second post yesterday showed - yesterday was not a good day for me. But food went ok ish. I did nibble some biscuits yesterday evening, and its just as well nothing is forbidden on Pauls programme because that means the large glass of wine I had isnt giving me the slightest twinge of guilt.

The phonecall from NPower came just at the start of a 20 minute freestep session . The remaining 17 minutes after the phone call were VERY vigorous and very thereaprutic. So in a way the call actually helped with the 'move your body' rule

But this morning I am tired, still quite stressed and very hungry. My main priority today is Edna. I have got to get in tuch with the doctor and sort out her medication - including making sure she doesnt have another break in supply. If I could receive mobile phone calls at work I wouldnt be worried but I know I cant - and this issue is unlikely to be sorted out in the window before 10 and after 4.30 . So I am not going to work. That is the beauty of being a locum - I dont have to work. Obviously I dont want to get a reputation for being unreliable - but having the freedom to respond to this sort of crisis is excatly why I decided to locum. Russells Hall dont know about my vorcumstances and my link with a dememntia sufferer - but I am going to have to tell them now.

One very good thing that happened yesterday was a chat with Steve (I didnt even hint at the NPower call - he has one more exam to do and I dont want him distracted or worried ) It was obvious fromn his first word that he was chirpy - and he said he just come back from a date with Judy. I have wanted him to have a girlfriend so much - and I am delighted he has finally got into a relationship. Of course I know at some future time there may well be heartache ahead for him but that is the downside of love. As long as the timing is OK (I can undertsand why my Mum was angry that my first boyfriend dumped me just before my GCE's) coping with the end of a relationship is part of life.

Taking care of my weight is an important part of my self care programme. The fact that I didnt have a binge yesterday shows how far I have coe on Paul's programme. At one point not so long ago I was regularly buying chocolate bars - usually a double or triple pack of Bounty bars - and eating them all myself. I havent felt the urge to do that for ages. Even though I know I am not always following the rules I actually dont want chocolate bars any more. If I did buy a pack of Bounties I know I couldnt the whoe pack at one go anymore. So there has been a fundamental change in the way I think about what I eat. And it survives even in a crisis. Do you have any idea how huge a deal that is for me?

Even though I am tiried and worried, right now I feel SO good about myself - and that is a great way to feel at the start of the day.