A timely reflection

This came into my mailbox yesterday. It is quite apt and useful for me at the moment

Often in moments of discouragement or depression, it's easy to feel that your life is going nowhere or that change is impossible. But it's simply not true! Take a minute to think back over your life. Chances are, you'll see a lot of growth in all of your formative areas. From childish playing, to youthful impulsiveness and adult reasoning, life sure has taken you on a rollercoaster hasn't it? When you were young, someone probably asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. If someone posed that same question to you now, what would you say? Let this reflection be an indicator of your dreams.

I surviced yesterday at work, managed to do everything outside work that needed to be done, and didn't lose control of food of my fitness regimen. I even did 20 minutes free stepping in the evening.

But I went o bed so depressed. I still feel down this morning

I know part of it is tiredness, part of it is anxiety about the future (Edna and my work situation) but I am worried part of it may be due to being back at QE. I am also worried about whether I actually will cope with the work QE have hired me to do. It turns out that on Thursday and Friday instead of working with another pharmacist to cover the neurology wards, I will be the ONLY pharmacist since Andrew leavses at 3 on Wednesday to fly to Australia and Rosemarie won;t be back until Monday. Well at least I know why they wanted ME to cover these 3 weeks. They needed someone who could just slot in without much training. That is a complement to me and it should give me some hope that Emily does in fact realise I AM the sort of pharmacist she needs to keep around. She is back today so I may well find out more since she is sure to come and find me.

But there is no doubt QE does have a very depressing effect on me. That was partly why I accepted this work. I wanted to find out if I could cope with ward based work, and see if I had finally laid the QE demon. I can't judge after omly 1 day. I MUST stay positive.

One good thing is that all the walking incvolved (one reason why I am so tired) means my exercise level has just invreased dramatically. As long as I don't sucumb to comfort eating and keep to a sensible diet I should see some weoght loss especually as I am doing the Wii fit stuff on top of it.

PS 30 minutes later

I actually have a little time to spare before leaving for work after managing to do my workout, have breakfast, get myself rerady for work, empty the dishwasher, and put a load of laundry in as well as doing some e-mails and FB stuff. The amazing thing is I actually felt walking to work would be a realistic option. I'm not going to because I know I made a sensible decision last week to use the car. Physically I am not sure I would cope. But mentally I am stronger than I thought I was. Clearly I am more motivated to take excercise than I realised. That is a cheering and optimistic thought to take to work with me today.