The story so far

I have reread my blog from the beggining this morning. It has been quite illuminating. I seem to have the same 'revelation' a number of times and it reads as if I am trapped in a never ending cycle making no progress at times. But I have made progress rom the time I started it.

I do have much better control over food than I had. I proved that last night when we had a chinese meal (belated birthday celebration with Steve there) and I didn't eat all of it. In fact I only ate about half mine.

I am doing much more excercise than I used to. The Wii fit was probably the best purchase I have ever made. I have used it every day and I now do at least 30 minutes a day. I can now jog easily for 10 minutes wihtout stopping which I could not have done before. So I no longer have to agonise about how I get to work and feel gultiy about not walking. Ecoligically I still need to use the car less - but that is a different matter. However I am seriusoly considering NOT using the car to get to QE for my locum stint. The old routine of walking to SOH and getting the merry-go-round bus to QE, then getting the bus directly home from QE sounds like a workable option to me.

My weight is probably about the same as it was when I first stated this blog - maybe even a bit more by a pound or two. But despite all the stress my weight hasn't ballooned. At my heaviest (a long time ago now) I weighed well over 16 stone. I still weigh less that 15 stne now and will hopefully soon weigh less than 14 stone.

My eating habits are better, I am eating much more healthily than I used to. Also I am learning to listen to my body. I wasn't that hungry this morning. I wanted something but not cereal. So I had a couple of toasted waffles. It now goes without saying that I didn;t bolt them down the way I would have done once. I possibly didn't eat them as slowly as Paul would reccomend.

I still have 2 huge uncertainties in my life. Edna and a job. I am doing what I can a job. I am still certain I won't be without work. However it may not be exactly the work I was looking for. But I am still having to adapt to the Edna factor. I am sure the work will be more congenial than my old job and much less stressful.

I have realised I have a new driving force in my life. Having seen how physically frail both Mum and Edna got for the last year or two of their lives I am determined I am going to do everything I can to stay fir and healthy physically. Edna's rapid detrioration mentally has made me determined to keep my brain as active as ossible. The mantra is 'Use it or lose it' The Wii fit makes me 'use it' physically. Work and the DS help me 'use it' mentally.


I am facing a difficut weekend. I have to go over to Mosley to get styff for Edna today. I will aslo go and see Edna today. Tommorrow Steve and I are going to see her together. Steve says he can't cope with seeing her on his own. These visits are going to stressful . I could do without the rushing around to get to Moseley .

Tomorrow is my deadline day for the Wiifit so a body test will be on the agenda. I am expecting to have missed the goal I set by quite a long way, but am optimistic I will have losy some weight since the last body check. At least I am not expecting to have put any weight on. I may be elated or very downcast after I do te body check. But I know I will NOT be giving up.

I am proud of myself and how I have coped over the past months. It hasn't always been succesful - but I've stuck at it - even had the guts to come back to this blog after 3 months not blogging when I could have just deleted it and forgotten all about it.

I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.