Who was Albert Ellis?

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.

- Albert Ellis

I dont know who this man is or was - but he was right. Ever since I took control of my life and accepted that I was responsible for my actions ,responses and feelings things have been great.

Paul McKenna says that in his work understanding how you are the way you are is the booby prize. So I can understand that I developed bad eating habits and became an overweight adult because my Mum spent the whole of my childhood telling me I was fat. But it isn't Mum's fault that I am overweight - she was trying to help me. I fact with the benefit of hindaight Mum had problems too because she spent my whole life dieting and she wasn't fat. No she had her effect on my self image - but I was the one who put the food in my mouth and developed bad eating habits when I left home.

Yesterday if it could go wrong it did. No news about the job, the courtesy car is unexpectedly having to go back much earlier than I thought, today I am having to miss work to sort out picking up the new car early and my feelings about the insurance company are almost unprintable. But I didnt comfort eat, I haven't sat around moaning about how unfair life is I adjusted my plans, accepted I would be losing money by not working today, and even saw that this way things are actually easier for me. Because I am responsible for how I think and feel.

Taking responsibiity for my thoughts and actions was the most important change I made three and half years ago - and is one of the things that now enables me to have a much more positive self image.

I hope this doesn't sound like boasting - it isn't. This entry is made out of a sense of relief that I didnt fall apart yesterday. Also I know how much self image can sabotage attempts to lose weight. If that statement helps any random reader who may stumble on this blog entry and gives them a new strategy to help them I will be so pleased.