Deep breath time

I am feeling a lot better this morning. I am quite tempted to delete yesterdays whinge entry - but I'm not going to. It doesn't show me at my best - but thats why I am going to leave it in so when I re-read this blog (and I do re-read it from time to time) I will remember how I felt - and how I got out of it.

In a world with earthquakes, tsunami's starvation and child exploitation - not to mention sex and drug traffickers - I am lucky beyond belief to be able to book holiday's and to be able to shrug off the cost of cancelling it when I can't get any sort of refund. What right do I have to moan?

But I do need to recognise and honour the depression I felt yesterday. It was real and it had its foundation in real feelings. I was warned a few days ago that I need to pay attention to my feelings and my spiritual side. I need the break and the rest from routine that the holiday away would have given me. Running myself into the ground isn't going to help my family - or the victims of the atrocities I mentioned above.


So I am 'on holiday at home' as of now. And I am trying to do the sorts of things I would do if I WAS on holiday. So I wont be cooking as much. It will e rady meals or takeaways this week. I would normally go on holiday with te aim of going swimming in the mornings before Tony wakes up. So I may just do that this morning. It will be fun ,rewlaxing and good exercise. OK I will have to pay the pool fee - but heavens above I have saved myself at least 100.00 pounds in petrol costs by not doing the drive to and from Scotland.

I have used the wii fit already this morning - just for 15 minures - and will use it again later to complete the 30 minutes.

I have been thinking about what might have happened if we HAD gone to Scotland. I suspect I would have found the drive very stressful and arrived totally exhausted. Also we may well have found when we got there even with no further snow we would not have been able to get out for at least a couple of days. If the final road is as bad as I suspect I wouldn't have wanted to drive on it too often. We would not have enjoyed spending too much time round the resort paying inflated prices for food and with too few intersting activities. We would have spent out time in the apartment watching TV and playing on the computers. Plus I wuld have bene worried about Steve. He isn't seriously ill - but its the illest he has ever been. And although HE thinks he could manage cat feeding duties - I think he is overestimating what he can do at the moment.

So having given myself the kick up the backside I needed I am feeling much more positive and much less self pitying.

I am now off to go swimming!