Back to work

I am going back to work today - but I am only planning on working mornings for the rest of this week. I will play it by ear depending on Edna's situation.

I managed to get up when the alarm went off. I can't say I leaped out of bed - but I didn't lie there 'for just a couple of minutes more' I have fed the cats, loaded the dishwasher, sorted out some laundry and done my 30 minutes on the wii fit - 10 minutes Step plus, 10 minutes boxing and jogging and 10 minutes free step.

I have realised why my back plays up more in the morning than at other times. The bed is overdue for replacement - so that is now high on my list of priorities - a new bed with a decent mattress.

Tuning in I have a niggly back and a niggly gut. I also feel bloated as well as hungry. I will draw a veil over yesterdays food intake - but I basically said to hell with everyones' rules for eating . I didnt binge - but I did a lot of comfort eating and wasn't too bothered about the lifestyle rules either. I didnt drink enough water - and really haven't botheres much with water since Edna's fall. So I can understand my physical feelings.

Emotionally - I am quite calm all tings considered - and determined is the other word I would use. I am determined to get through this without collapsing in a heap in the corner.

And thought or question - well I suppose how long will Edna be in hospital?

I am not really hungry - but I know I WILL be hungry during the morning if I dont have breakfast. But I dont really fancy anything. I guess I will just have to carry finger food with me so I can eat on the move. That is the downside of "eat when you are hungry" It assumes when you ARE hungry you can stop and eat. Work is a hard taskmistress in that respect. Eating on the move doesnt really allow you to savour the food either - but it is probably better to do that than eat just because it is breakfast time. At least I am still thinking about what when and how I eat.

I have realised the niggly gut I mentioned before is almost certainly a sign of a gut going on strike. Given the emotional turmoil and disruption in my eating I am not surprised that constipation has set in. Edna's crises ALWAYS kick off some physical problem for me. IBS is easier to manage than cystitis. I am grateful for small mercies- and am going to dose myself up with Movical