Lets lose the countdown................

The countdown thing isn't working or isn't helping. There are just too many other things going on for me to keep this blog JUST about food at the moment. Today I have a day off work - and I feel I need a day off keeping my focus on food. lets be honest the whole idea of Paul's system is that you DON'T focus on food the practice until the rules become habits and the weight loss follows on.

I have a day off because the charity will be coming to clear the remaining furniture out of Edna's flat today. After last weeks failure I decided I needed to be there to let them in. I will also pop into her bank and have a little whinge abut the fact that despite the information we were given when her account was converted to a joint account, the account is frozen until probate is granted. I also want to tackle the tax form and the probate form.

I also have an additional job to tackle because the accountants have got my address wrong so my limited company is registered at number 35 instead of my at house- and the occupier is not a happy bunny. So today I need to ring up the accountants and blast them; draft a letter to explain to unhappy neighbour what I have done to rectify things, say that there is one more package that will arrive at his address for me from Play (I managed to select the wrong address from the drop down menu !) and to tell him if he rings us we will go across and collect any post; go to Kings Heath to the bank; go to Edna's flat to let the men in; and tackle the paperwork.

The catalogue of errors has depressed me. It feels as if I can't do anything right. So todays sparkpeople reflection was apt

f you accept someone else's idea of reality and personal limits, you'll have no control over your own destiny. You can only go as far as that view will let you. Do you normally accept things as they are, or do you ask "why" and "what if"? Being an individual and thinking for yourself--even while others are calling you crazy--takes courage. For many, trying a new perspective is scary. But if we always stick to the familiar, the known, we never grow and learn. Don't be afraid to go against the grain. Ask the tough questions that everyone else is afraid to ask. Try a new way to do the same thing just to see what happens. We guarantee you that the world won't end. You'll see solutions that nobody else would see if they're all looking at a problem the same way. Practice new ways to combine unrelated objects. After all, somebody had to try peanut butter and jelly for the first time.

I have no doubt the angry neighbour thinks I am a total klutz. To be honest I feel like a bit of a klutz. But I am not going to accept that reality - I will sort it out. But its the rest of the piece that got me thinking. I am not going to get stuck in my comfort zone. I AM going to go against the (pharmaceutical) grain. I want to combine my pharmacy knowledge with my reiki skill. I clould possibly do something to enhance BOTH. The reflective piece feels as if it telling me ' Don't get downhearted by the little setbacks at the moment - keep on the path you are on'

Apart from feeling like a klutz I feel physically blah today. Doing a 'beyond Chocolate' tune in physically I have colicky pain from my IBS - I also have a pain in my right thigh and my knees and fingers feel a bit stiff. Emotionally I am anxious about the the situation with the angry neighbour and whether everything will go according to plan today. Thought or question is will the charity shop turn up and what will I do if they don't.

I dont feel hungry at all - so I haven't eaten. I don't really fancy anything to eat. I am staring at the wii fit snd thinking I am NOT going to put it on yet. I am physically tired. Work has been tough this week. To be honest it was only the thought that I had this day off that kept me going yesterday.

I feel as if I have been concentrating on my physical health at the expense of my mental and spiritual health . I need to get things back in balance I think.

Food didn't go too badly yesterday although I snacked during the evening. But I feel as if I need confort food. Sometimes you do. So the food itself wasn't wrong - but the way I ate it was. I didnt focus on the food it wasn't on a plate I didnt give it sufficient thought.

I feel as if I ams till ' in a bad place' but at least I feel I can see a way OUT of it now. I still can lose weight before Christmas. I have over 6 weeks. I could lose half a stone easily. I beleive in Paul's system I just have to follow it.