Day 7

It is an understatement to say my first week hasn't exactly gone as I planned. But the good news is the last 3 days haven't left me feeling I totally sabotaged my overl plan. I didn't totally OD on junk food or indulge in bingeing.

Doing a beyond chocolate tune in physically I have definite IBS pain and I feel very tired. Emotionally I am calm. Thought or question is when will I be able to get back to work?

I know I need to give myself enough time to get myself back on an even keel. Ideally it needs to eb after the funeral. So I can't decide about a date until I know when the funeral is. I can't arrange the funeral until I find the papers about the pre-paid funerla plan - or decide it is totally lost and just do it myself.

Today Steve and I are going to start sorting out her flat and I hope we will find it then.

I turned on the Wiifit today afer a 3 days gap. I didn't do much - but I did something.

I am sitting here feeling hungry - but nor sure what I want. I am still at the stage that food makes me feel slightly sick. I may do myself a smoothie instead.

I am going to get through all this OK. It is possible I won't get back to Russells Hall - but that is very unlikely. I should get back in a couple of weeks. If they decide to end my booking because of this absence - well so be it. I will cope.

Change management is a specialty in its own right. Jane Elvidge was sent on a whole course devoted to it. I have been on courses devoted to it. Really to make the change succesful all I need to do is manage myself properly. And thanks to the wonderful Mr McKenna I have the tools to do that.

My life is going to be so radically different in future. I dont yet know how it is going to look - but I am sure it is going to be designed to MY plan,