D-0day

All being well today Edna goes home and I will really start to get a flavour of how life is going to shape up for me. I feel surprisingly optimistic this morning.

I was awake early so decided to get up and make use of the extra half hour. So I have done 24 minutes on the Wii fit, got my lunch ready and am now eating my breakfast - and it isn't even 7.00 yet!

My back is making me aware it isn't 100% happy - but it isn't serious. My knees are a bit creaky - but it isn't too bad and my IBS is the very gentlest of gentle discomfort in the background. Again enough to remind me there is a problem - but not enough to make me think I need to do something about it. Considering all the work I did yesterday this is a pleasant surprise.

The Abel and Cole man has just deleivered my box of fruit and veg. This is always an interesting time if I haven't checked the contents beforehand. I have 1 item I have never cooked with before - and never knowingly eaten it. Kohl Rabi. I have yet to try anything I totally disliked . Having this box delivery challenges my cooking and my food ideas and that is good. It keeps from getting stale and using the same recipes over and over and getting bored. I also have an aubergine which I have tried to cook once before with minimal success. So that will be challenging. But I know have a pasat machine so maybe a home made lasagne could be on the cards? Or maybe Moussaka if I can find a recipe. I have no doubt inventive cooking is a large part in me enjoying my food and sticking to Paul's rules. It is the ultinate in eating what you want. As an added bonus I can make the meals healthy too! Eating what you want is a wonderful mantra, but there is no harm in making healthy substitutions like fromage frais or yoghurt for cream. Paul advises throwing away all low fat ,low sugar and low calorie foods - unless you like them. I donlt feel reducing the fat content of my cooking is breaking the rules. I know I need to work on my cholsterol level!

I suppose I am beding Paul's rules with that choice. Another way in which I bend the rules is having a smaller portion - but not leaving any. I haven't left any breakfast - and am still hungry so I suspect I will be having some toast before I go to work. But I know I ate a smaller breakfast than I would have done. Leaving some on the plate is a psychological trick to change your mindset if you are a member of the 'clean plate' club. So again I don't feel I am breaking the spirit of the rules.

All this blabber about food is really a mask for the fact that I am nervous about today. I have no control over what will happen and I know all sorts of things could go wrong and delay/ complicate her discharge. All I can do is hope it all goes well. I spend a lot of time worrying about things I can't control, that may never happen. I have a choice. I can either relax about the whole thig - or have grumbling IBS problems today. I know which I would prefer - but doing it isn't so easy.