How will I be remembered?

Are you a lion or a lamb?

How will your life be remembered? Will your story be lost among the millions who were afraid to take a chance? Or will you leave something noble behind? There's nothing to gain by following the crowd or doing what you've always done. You may as well put yourself out to pasture. But there's everything to gain by believing that you're king or queen of the jungle, even if just for a day. (Go ahead and roar if you want to.) Each of us has an amazing opportunity to live large if we allow it. It takes leaving the comfort of our familiar meadows and walking into the unknown. Once you take that chance, you've made your days worthwhile. Even if you have few resources, adventure is around every corner, and life is waiting to be devoured. If you were to write the book of your life, would you want to read it?

This reflection did make me think. That is probably a good thing because I am feeling very tired and a bit down this morning. But as I read this I fund myself remembering how I DON'T follow the crowd. I really annoy some of my fellow pharmacists because I refuse to condemn homeopathy. I am sure a LOT of people would think i had gone nuts by trying to train my 6th sense. And I am positive my fellow professionals would be aghast at the idea that I want to find a way to combine my professional skills with the reiki skills. They would probably be aghast at the idea that I use reiki and dont condemn it is phoney. And as for the idea that I once saw a ghost - well a lot of people would think I am ready for a straight jacket.

But I do wonder if I will be remembered as a bit of a looney. Anyway I came to the conclusion that I could not be accused of being a lamb and following the crowd - even if I dont roar like lion much.

I woke up this morning feeling very tired and very down. I have already decided I will have to cancel the visit to Rachel tonight because I am just too tired at the moment. My mind still has more stamina than my body sadly.

But I DID turn the wii fit on - even if I only did 14 minutes. And thinking about yesterdays food intake although it wasn't very healthy I ate when I was hungry. I grazed yesterday off some delicious food in the tea room including some stollen which I love. At lunch I only ate the sandwiches. I ate the cereal bar in the car on the way home. I didnt snack last night at all really. So not a brilliant day - but not a total failure.

The mirror tells me I look OK - even if my mind tells me I could look better.

I am plodding away doing my best to eat properly and get exercise. I can recognise my achievements and acknowledge my failures - and I do try to learn from them.

I am not sitting here blaming everyone else for my situation - I am doing what I can to change things.

When I woke this morning I was very down. But reading that piece has got me into a more positive frame of mind. Also I know exercise is always a good antidepressant. I am still going to cancel the visit to Rachel. Its the 30 minute drive to get there that I can't face. And I do know my limits. But I am going into the day feeling good about myself - and that always helps keeps food under control.