I'm not normally superstitious about Friday the 13th - but today has not started well. I dreamed about Mum last night - but think it was a combination of Mum and Edna - and she was so thin- just as Edna is. It upset me. Also when I got up I realsied I have a tiny crack in the skin on the side of one of my feet and walking is painful. Am I going to have to cut down on the Wii fit today? I hope not.I'm wondering how to deal with it and coming to the conclusion that a need to use cream on the feet regularly to stop the skin from getting dry. I aslo have the horrible feeling that if I wasn't so overweight my feet would be better so its all my fault anyway. Also I will be going to see Edna later and I am dreading it because when I rang her yesterday she said she was feeling poorly and I think I was supposed to go dashing round and didn't - because I knwo if she was REALLY ill the warden would get the doctor and tell me. I think she was being manipluative - but I still guilty. The mantra about me not being solely responsible for her health and happiness isn't working. My head KNOWS she has GOT to start making efforts for herself or she WILL end up in a care home. That information hasn't reached my heart and soul yet - so clearly I don't really beleive it.
However on the postive side when I woke up I wasn't really hungry so although I've had a coffee I've not yet eaten. So I've not eaten out of habit. But I am now starting to feel hungry so I wil go and do myself some breakfast. This going to be a good day - I am NOT going to get downhearted.
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Oh sh*t. Th ephone went just I finished te entry. It was the warden telling me they are concerend about Edna because she says she doesn't feel wel, they think she isn't taking her tablets properly, an dthey are not sure what to do. So I am now having to dash over there and I know Edna is going to get upset about it all and I am going to feel like acreaming at her. Hopefullt screaming at the blog will help defuse me a bit. AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.
God grant e the serentity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Oh no - how is she Sally? Is that why you have to drive 90 miles tonight? I still have two more blog entries to read so will see what they say before asking too many more questions
I think the word is 'difficult' Fankly she needs a kick up the backside to get her to realise that she needs to help herself - which at the moment she just isn't doing.
The 90 miles drive was for my boyfriends mother. My 'quiet weekend' has left me exhausted.
Memo to self I MUST learn to say 'no' sometimes.
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