Today is my birthday and I decided to look back my entries for this time last year. I am not sure that was such a good idea as I was in the run up to Edna's diagnosis and she was in hospital . I dreamed about her last night - she was sot of committing suicide. I know that sounds daft but I can't express it any other way.
It has left me in a funny mood and re-reading my entries for this time last year haven't exactly helped. It may sound stupid but when I decided to look back I had forgotten where we were with Edna, had forotten I retired this time last year, had forgotten that this time last year was the first day of the rest of my life (yes I used tat phrase.
Its funny I am in the same work state now as I weas then - unsure about my long term prospects - and betting that UHB would be keeping me on. Plus ca change today I am wondering if UHB will take me on.
I can see I have made progress with exercise and I know I have made progress with meditation. I have lost weight since then - but I am not sure I have improved that much with my food management.
Maybe I DID need to look back. It has reminded me what I have made progress with, and reading about Edna again has reminded me that I DID cope with the situation. I am quite a strong person and I do seem to survive what life throws at me.
I feel I am still on track with my overal goals for 2010.
And now I am off to have a good birthday I hope.
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