Feeling a bit adrift

I am not sure what this blog is about this morning. I think I will just left is develop and see where it takes me. The accountant has filed my accounts Hooray!!! There is still another step to do as HMRC will send me some information I need to send to HIM but then it will be done. And then presumably he WILL send me his bill. How did things go so wrong with this relationship? I lost trust in him when I couldn't contact him at one point - I believe he was ill. And then there was the issue of the file they suddenly couldn't pen less than 24 hours after telling me my accounts had been filed. And there was the issue of his bill. He said he would attach his bill the next time he emailed me - and I then didn't hear anything from him. I know I need to reflect on why it went wrong . Communication is vital in my healing work. This is the classic failed communication and I need to know what I did wrong. I had a good weekend - but it was rather spoiled by a combination of IBS and cystitis discomfort. A rather unpleasant combination. But it didn't stop me relaxing, going to church, and doing some work on my portfolio. It didn't stop us going over to Wolverhampton last night either. The game went on until 11. I didn't get to bed until nearly midnight, and as a result I am bit late up this morning. It was gone 7 when I woke up. Thank goodness I am back to a 10.00 start. I have had time to meditate this morning - and of course to make this blog entry. Why am I feeling adrift? I am not sure. After the high of Wednesday - its all been rather downbeat I suppose - not helped by the accountant issue of course. A couple of my friends have had amazing results with asking the universe for things and getting them. I am pleased for them - but very jealous. If they can get things why can't I? But lets be fair I haven't really tried to do what they have done -but they had clear ideas of what they wanted. I don't. I don't have a direction so I AM drifting. Now thats odd because I do know clearly what I want to end up doing - but I don't have a concrete plan for how to get there. I have realised since I qualified as a hypnotherapist, I have been trying to favour that over reiki. But all the patients at the hospice I have tried it on, I now think will respond better to reiki. Why don't I trust reiki? I had the thought this morning that my scientific side is too dominant. I know I need science and spirituality to be in balance to progress. I need to get back to spirituality - back to reiki. Maybe thats why I ended up in church yesterday morning. I have done my spiritual exercise this morning - but it really has been some time since I did a proper meditation. OK so where does this leave me? I have been focussing on getting hypnotherapy clients - which needs me to take rooms at Kings Heath. I already have a place to do reiki. I am going to focus on getting a client I treat up at the salon. So I feel better for having worked out what my next step needs to be. Both IBS and cystitis are grumbling along this morning.I feel tired - but quite ready to cope with a day at the hospital. I haven't eaten yet but I am a bit hungry - but I need to get a move on as I have less than an hour to eat and get ready to go out. I have packed my lunch (home made soup) . I am thinking about using the technique I was taught at the Paul McKenna day to help me chose my breakfast so I pick what my body really needs. I am looking forward to the walk through the park. I am doing as well as I can be I think.