Yesterday was a very bad day. I was demotivated for a variety of reasons that I could rationalise about. My frustrations over my work situation were slightly alleviated by a call from Manie to tell me she has had some interest in me. Today she is going to ring me so I can hear all the details and discuss them with her.
Wr got invited over to Gill and Darren's last night. I was aware as I drove over that I had visons of chocolate in my head. Gill and Simon decided to go to the shop before the game started and I decided to go with them to get something to drink. I also bought two bars of chocolate one for me and one for Tony. Almost as soon as I had the bars the feeling that I wanted some chocolate faded quite a lot. But when it resurrected itself a bit later I slowly ate and really really enjoyed my bar of chocolate.
Psychologically it did me the power of good.
Both Beyond Chocolate and Paul McKenna advise people trying to lose weight to listen to their bodies. But that also involves listening to your mind because that is how your body communicates with you. Understanding and honouring your emotions is the theme of 'Care of the Soul' a book I was recommended by Denise when I got back to work 4 years ago after CYLI7D.
And it occurred to me this morning that you not only have to listen, but you have to trust the message you are getting. In just the same way I know I have to trust my intuition to give me correct information.
The issue of trusting myself seems to be a recurring theme in different areas of my life at the moment - and I know that is significant.
I trusted my instincts over the chocolate bar. I need to identify where I am NOT trusting myself and then maybe I will start to make some progress.
So tuning in this morning I am tired, I have slight back discomfort, I am feeling that I have fallen behind in work round the house and garden so I have not gone to the park. I will get my exercise by doing some of those jobs. I am nervous about the information Manie is going to give me and worried I am going to make a bad decision about my job future.
I am certain that I will go for whatever job seems best for me even tho I am certain it is going to involve a longer journey than I would like.
But my instincts are telling me I am not going to make progress by staying in hospital work. And Manie is giving me a chance to move into the community.
Once I have my work sorted out , I think other things will fall into place and I will then do much better with my weight loss.
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Sometimes it certainly feels like there is a big snowball chasing us as we run downhill !!! Our perceptions can certainly make this appear to be so. One thing I have discovered with reiki- the more you do, the more open your awareness becomes to all of life, and it can become difficult for our conscious mind to filter the sensations.The more treatments you do, you become more empathic to the world around you . Making sure you cut the cords after doing a treatment helps, but beginning to understand how empathy works is an even greater help. One source you might want to look into is The Book of Storms http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm, which is a free book/course about empathic abilities. Reading through can help your mind understand what is happening , and your intellect can begin to sort out the experiences.
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