Having a wobble

This is an exercise for my OU course which I meant to do a few days ago.
When was I at my best? What do I feel proud of as I look back over what I have done both in work and out of it.

Organising the production section at Dudley Road
My time on the Liver Unit especially starting the self medication system.
Setting up the topping up system at QE
Becoming one of the top DM's in Europe in my RPGA days
The way my relationship with my son has stayed strong as he has matured
Beating depression and getting control over my life.
Dealing with individual patients and their problems
Doing my best for Edna
Being a shoulder to cry on for friends/colleagues with problems

So who am I at my best?

Innovative
Well organised
Focused
Caring
Good communicator
Good listener
Hard working
Reliable

So why am I posting all this on THIS blog? I had a major wobble yesterday. I started the formal process of applying for a job at Asda, and yet again I had an agency ring me up and say Selly Oak want a locum are you interested? They rang at 12, said they would get back tome within the hour. Four hours later I rang them and they said they were about the ring Selly Oak to find out what was going on. They said they would get back to me and didn't

The Asda application is making me focus on what I really want - and the agency incident is feeding my paranioa about how Selly Oak see me and undermining my self confidence.

I am scared about the future.

I need to deal with that fear and I can't do that if I am a quivering blob of jelly in a corner. Working through that exercise has reminded what I can do at my best, that I do have a lot to be proud of. I can do this