Who is disiplined ver a weekend anyway?

It all went to pot over the weekend. No PFM (although I did complete the diary) junk food al weekend, no rela excercise and depsite having a games weekend I spent a lot of it down because I a so worried about Edna.

I went to see her on Saturday and although my tantrum last weekend did shake her a bit she is still very down. She also doesn't seem to be taking the antbotics. I chated wit Alma and she is convince she isn't eating, but also feels she may be playing me a bit. Sadly se is capable f that. But te botom line is if she doesn't treat this chest infection and isn't eating, she isn't going to get better. Alma and I both feel she wants to die - ad if that is true there is nothing we can about it. But I have some very complex emotions about that. I think I need to talk to someone professionally (something Edna of course refuses to do!) So need to decide if I am going to include the GP in this accepting the possibility I may be depressed too and may need more than CBT. I am wondering if I am really in the best frame of mind to decide about my future. However at least at te moment the presumption is now that I will be working full time. Trouble is I am SO tired this morning I am wondering if full time work s possible? Is this genuie tiredness duew to lack of stamina or is it a sign of depression? That settles it I need to include the GP.

There is no odut blogging is a very useful tool!!

I have to starve ths morning because I am having bloods taken for cholesterol. I aalso intending to make use of the gym at work over the lunchtime. 20 minutes on the treadmill will be useful for my back, good for my general health and hopefully will release some endorphins and et me or epositive again. Actually even the thought of it is making me feel better. I am visualising myself jogging slowly on the treadmill. I am aso visulaising the pleasure I will feel when the HT monitor goes to 100 and wondering what the calories count will be. Fun!!!!

I really DO feel motivated to excercise more. Dam tha Paul McKenna - he's brainwashed me - and I'm delighted.

My mood has done a complete 180 writing this today. I got up depressed and tired wondering if I could face a full week at work, and I now feel energised and enthused - although still very worried about Edna.I REALLY need to think about that change and what it means.