A dilemma

I have a problem today at the hospice. Last week a lady was referred to me who has a history of psychosis and schizophrenia.I went to see her but felt I needed some input from her psychiatric team before I could actually treat her as she really wants hypnotherapy. She was supposed to give my number to her CPN. I have heard nothing. If the CPN hasn't contacted the hospice either, I have to find the brilliant response to this. Watch this space...........

If hypnotherapy is out, I have to decide whether reiki with the intention of 'the healing she needs' will be OK - as I am not sure if what she WANTS is actually safe for her

Day 1 of living at my brilliant best

I have tried to say nice things to people today to inspire them to be good. It felt good to say things via FB to people who would NOT expect me to say something like that. I hoped that by saying things like that they would raise their game a notch.

I aslo tried to 'inspire' someone who is deliberately combative on Locum Vice. I stayed calm and thought about the words of my post VERY carefully.

caring, compassion and listening haven't really been in the frame,

Thats what I have to improve me. So what have I done to promote Krystal Wolf ? Well I have struggled with technology today and got it set up so I can make a post on Krystal Wolf Holistic Care page - and it gets tweeted. AND when I tweet the posts appear on Krystal Wolf account AND Krystal Wolf Holistic Care page. And all without the aid of a teenager. We also went out and did what is our last leaflet drop! The remaining leaflets about the reiki at the salon can be issued via the salon or at psychic fairs (of which we have two coming up)

The walking to drop the leaflets took the place of the planned swimming/gym visit. MUCH more productive

ANd I have also found a local business networking group so all being well I will be going to a meeting on Friday morning at Tamworth. Not quite as local as I would LIKE - but its the only one I can find on a day when I can go. All the others are on Wednesdays when I am at the hospice.

Now for a drum roll................ are you ready????? I MEDITATED THIS MORNING. Not the most brilliant meditation I have ever done but I did it.

At the moment I feel I am going to BREEZE through the 14 days ............... but I may be wrong.

My 6 pack

Having read both The art of being Brilliant' and now 'Being Brilliant' I have decided I needed to give myself a refresher course in the things I think I know so well thanks to Paul McKenna. 'Change your life in Seven Days' will always remain the most influential book for me. Without the hypnotherapy CD I don;t think i would have made anything like the progress I did. But the Andy's have a fresh approach that is making me take a second look at myself. In particular I like the concept of the '6 pack' of qualities' that define you at your best. However I have no doubt it will be tough to define them - and then live up to them for 14 consecutive days.

And as I think about what I feel defines me I realise I am not the same person I was post September 2007 when I was 'McKenna'd' I have moved on - so maybe this is the perfect time for me revisit these ideas....especially as I am now deliberately cutting back on my pharmacy work - to pursue my dream. But can I turn that dream into a HUGG? Maybe I haven't made much progress because I haven't been thinking big enough!


OK so what 6 qualities do I feel define me at my most brilliant best?

My first choice surprises me - but after a day spent helping friend of mine she used the same word a number of times 'inspiring' And I have realised inspiring people is exactly what I want to do

Second has got to be 'caring'

Third is 'calm' I don;t do anything well when I am not calm. And as a therapist I need to be calm and soothing to best help my clients.

Gosh this is harder than I thought. Last night I was creating a list in my head and I had 6- but they were all predictable based on my post McKenna self.

Fourth is 'generous' generous with my time and my money

Fifth is 'compassionate'

Sixth is 'Intuitive' I really do work best when my intuition and empathy are at full volume. But taking that down to a more mundane level describing myself as a good listener probably describes it well enough. I need to listen AND hear well .

How do these relate to my reiki principles? Well not worrying and not getting angry ensure I am calm. Having respect for others ensures I listen well to them. Honesty and hard work? I am honest but I don;t think honesty defines me at my best. It is just ingrained into me. And being compassionate obviously fits.

So these qualities do not conflict with my reiki principles - which I didn't think they would.Maybe this shows how deeply the reiki principles have become ingrained?

OK so now I just need to live by those qualities for 14 consecutive days. Watch this space

I made a breakthrough of a sort with food today. I went out for lunch with my friend - who has a much bigger weight problem than me. We were discussing various approaches to slimming including the McKenna approach. And somehow talking about them I managed to put it into action. I couldn't finish my baked potato!! And something I don't know what got me to eat raw tomato - something I haven't done voluntarily since I was a child.

I haven't done any significant exercise for a few days - but with a busted wii fit board the only wii fit exercise I could do is jogging - and in this heat that is NOT an option. I will go swimming or the gym tomorrow.

So what have I done today that relates directly to Krystal Wolf? Well I created a Facebook page for us - and having got 30 likes we then rolled a dice and gave that person a free reading. i did that reading today. I have also done some posts ON that page - and on a new page Paula has created for the salon. And she was kind enough to endorse my reiki .

One thing I am STILl not doing is regular meditation - and I am not even doing my reiki principles . I really MUST make progress on that.

So to finish for the next 14 days I need to be an inspiring caring calm generous compassionate listener...phew.

HUGG's

I intend to set myself a Huge Unbelievably Great Goal. Watch this space

I have just read an amzing book called 'The art of Being Brilliant' If you want a simple, funny and understandable self improvment book - ths is it. Check out their website 'The art of brilliance

Getting used to my new life

I gave up my three days a week at the orthopaedic hospital a couple of weeks ago. The first week I had no pharmacy work I spent the first two days recovering from Beer and Pretzels. Driving 140 miles in a weekend is tiring. So today is actually the first day I have had with no specific work at all and no appointments of any sort. The world is my oyster - and I am NOT going to waste it.

There is work to do on my portfolio.
I need to study crystals because we have agreed I will talk about crystals at next weeks circle.
The back lawn needs mowing
There is housework to be done
I still have 500 leaflets to deliver.
I would LIKE to go swimming on use the gym today.

One of my big concerns is that now I am not working at the hospital as regularly I am not going to get as much exercise and I will put weight on. I am determined NOT to do that. But I need a new strategy slimming. Sadly my guru Paul McKenna's system doesn't seem to work with me . OR is it because I am not actually sticking to his system? Now I am home more I have a chance to actually put his rules into action?

Now that is something to meditate about..... and meditation is something else I need to put firmly on my agenda.If I am to have the life I want, I need to grow spiritually as well as shrink physically. That has given me the most bizarre image in my head!!

I find I am looking forward with pleasant anticipation to all the tasks on my to do list even the mundane ones because my vision for my future life includes a much more organised house.

And for the first time it is starting to sink in that I have time to really achieve all these things.

So where does weight loss fit into my plans?

WEight loss fits in in two ways.

1) I want to get to grips with my wn weight issues.

2) I want to help people who have weight issues. As a start I run a Face book slimming support group called. Imagine yourself slimmer and healthier

Like some of our other ventures this brings in small amounts of money . the group itself is free, but I have sold a few personalised hypnotherapy CD's for 5.00 each.

I give them NLP hints and tips for how to change how they feel and act, try to encourage them to adopt a sensible approach to their problems- making lifestyle changes rather than meal replacements, or counting calories. And I encourage them NOT to weigh in every week.

I also promote the idea that being thin is NOT the same as being healthy.


I have had good feedback from those who have bought the CD's off me. One of my plans is to become more professional in my CD production and sell them through KrystalWolf Holistic Care

What life am I trying to build?

As I sit here today I am designing my future life. My thoughts and actions today will build my future. So I need to be clear about what I want in my life.

The first thing I want to talk about is Krystal Wolf Holistic Care
Krystal Wolf is me and Tony, doing our best to help people when they are in trouble, helping people realise their full potential. But we are not marketing it very well yet. But today I was out pushing leaflets about my reiki and our business card through letterboxes when one woman ran out of her house waving them at me saying 'Is this you" Coincidentally she had been wondering if there was a medium.reader in the area. We agreed there was no such thing as co-incidnece.

At the moment I see the readings as being more Tony's side, while I do reiki and hypnotherapy. I am starting slowly to get clients for hypnotherapy but the reiki is slow going. I work out of a local salon on Thursdays and so far my only client is the salon owner - who has become a real fan of reiki.

I do do readings as well - and I know I am good at them,. So I have taken a deep breath and applied to Psychic Today. Tony works for them a reader already.

I have never seen myself as a reader - but I am beginning to feel that is my best way to help people.

Another thing Krystal Wolf do is spiritual development and Thursday evenings we run a small development circle. This is a new venture for us.

At times I get depressed that things are moving so slowly but we are taking some money - in 5 and 10 pound amounts. Things are moving int he right direction and I am going to kepe on pushing it

Krystal Wolf is a huge part of the future I am trying to build

New title new focus new life

I am a very different person to one who started this blog under a different title 4 years ago. I was an unhappy pharmacist working full time, coping with major problems in life, struggling with her weight.

Four years on I am much happier, I still work as a pharmacist but I am retired so only work part time. I am also a reiki practitioner , a hypnotherapist, and a psychic reader. I am now married to my partner of 18 years. I still struggle with my weight.

This blog is about helping me focus on bringing about desired changes in my life. And what I want is to build Krystal Wolf Holistic care into a thriving business for both Tony and I, I want to develop myself to my fullest potential psychically, spiritually,and mentally. I want to lose the armour of fat that I have been hiding behind for too many years.

You get more of what you focus on. This blog was concentrating on me be reactive. Now I am being pro-active

Its been a strange but interesting week. I have been quite busy despite not going to the hospital. I have been swimming and to the gym. I have been to the hospice. I have delivered some leaflets, I have given some reiki for which I have been paid. I have led a psychic development circle, I have dismantled Steves old bed and it is now in the garden waiting to go to the tip, and I have been given a FREE place on a CPD course running tomorrow at the hypnotherapy college. Nick contacted me out of the blue. I also have a possibility of a life coaching client. In some ways I have done nothing. In others I feel as I haven't stopped. This not working regularly lark is going to take some getting used to

Unexpected move

I joined the gym at Northfield yesterday. I had been planning to join a gym in Harborne - but I decided to ask if I could use my leisure card to access the gym for free and I can. So Margaret is ALSO going to join. I had my induction yesterday - and I stayed on for a bit using the treadmill and a bike, I now ache as I also swam for 30 minutes yesterday. Oh well.......... I may just pop in at the gym on the way back from the hospice today........ I have t patients booked today . I hope i get to treat them both. I still feel a bit adrift with the no work routine. But each day I have done something positive for the business although as yet no leaflets delivered. The weather was too bad yesterday. but it looks better today so maybe I will do that this afternoon and get my exercise that way. Next step must be to design more leaflets for our services I am heartened that my card pick today was healing energy work.

What a surpise

Yesterday I ut on my FB status that I had slots for 5 readings ,made it clear I was going to charge, and got two takers. Only 10.00 but I earned some money yesterday Yay. I also have been given permission to promote my Life coaching on Locum Voice. So this morning I have composed that post and I will have to wait and see if I get any takers for that. The admin gave me permission to post it and I know normally advertising isn't allowed. So I have done something yesterday and today to promote myself in no-pharmacy roles. I am pleased with myself. So my tabula rasa for today - I want to get at least one response from LV. I am going to go swimming with Margaret and I want to think as resourcefully today during swimming as I did yesterday. I swam nonstop for 30 minutes and did some very helpful thinking. I am going to meditate properly today with a candle and incense etc. I am going to do deliver some leaflets this afternoon I am no longer a pharmacist I am a holistic therapist

Today I am excited....

nervous - but excited . Today is the first day of the first week of my new situation - with no regular pharmacy work. I have posted in IYSAH. I have posted todays tarot card in KWHC. I have collected a parcel from Selly Oak, I have bought a 10kg bag of dry cat food as I was in the car and near the shop even though we don't need any yet, and I went swimming. Now when I say I went swimming I don;t mean I was in the water for 30 minutes but only moving for about 20. I was swimming for 30 minutes - and thinking very resourcefully. I found myself planning all sorts of work related things (by work I mean non pharmacy work) And I also found myself thinking about a quote form Michelangelo. the one about chipping away marble to reveal the angel hidden inside. With every stroke I swam I found myself thinking that each stroke was another chip at the excess fat I carry. I hope I can find a way to share these thoughts with IYSAH without sounding unbearably priggish and smug. I will try. So what is on my 'tabula rasa' for today? I am going to start writing up my Life coaching case for my portfolio. I am going to advertise my availability to give readings on KWHC This evening I am going to contact a pharmacist who has a real crisis to see if I can help him in some way. This may end up being paid or it may not. But it is a chance to use my skills to help a fellow professional - something I really want to do. I may go and deliver some leaflets/cards this afternoon - but I do ache rather a lot from the swimmming so that may not be the wisest idea

I didn't make yesterday a biscuit free zone , and I walked away from ROH without any dates booked although they did TRY to get me for Wednesday and Thursday next week - I will have to see what happens. So this morning I sit here feeling very IBS'y, rather tired - but looking forward to the rest of the week. And if I am honest very glad I am NOT at ROH on Monday because after the hospice today, the salon tomorrow, Little Aston on Friday, and Beer and Pretzels in Burton at the weekend I think Monday will be glad to just go blrghhhh. I have instituted a new thing on our FB page. I do a daily tarot pick and talk about the card. So far its been amazing how often the card applies to me. Todays was 'Death' which means the death of the old life - and the start of the new one. On the day after I finished my 3 days a week regular stint at ROH it feels VERY apt. Tony had an exciting development too. The TV channel want him to do readings liv eon the telephone!!! He doesn't know when yet - but it shows they have faith in him. And he is VERY pleased. So tuning in this morning I feel tired, I am aware of my lower abdomen - and it is IBS not IC I am sure. I feel hungry - but don't know what I want to eat. I am feeling positive - but nervous - and looking forward to meeting an internet contact Richard who wants to try and get into hospital pharmacy. He may also be interested in complementary therapy so as he lives in Brum I may just have a client at some point. So what do I want for today? I must get Paula's CD done!! I want at least one patient at the hospice, I want Richard to consider using my non pharmacy services.

I listend to a Paul McKenna track this morning - first time in months I have done that. I was awake and couldn't put the radio on cos Tony was with me (something that has happened a LOT more lately :-) ) My iPod was to hand - which it normally wouldn't have been - so I took the opportunity. I didn't go deep into trance - but I realised listening to that was a brilliant start to the day. Got me thinking positively. I am nervous about today. Will I walk away from ROH today with no dates booked? If I do its because that is meant to happen. Things are moving for KW. Tony has been paid for a rune stone reading. I am getting feedback on the website for readings , so even if I am not getting PAID much at the moment things are moving in the right direction. And if listening to 'I can make you thin' helps me get that moving in the right direction too - well its a win win situation. Positive thinking and slimming in one. The life coach needs some life coaching at times - I freely admit it. So what am I writing on the Tabula rasa for today? I want at least one day booked at ROH. I want a biscuit free day. I want a booking for a reading, reiki or hypnotherapy by the end of this week - so I need to do something today to increase the chances of that happening. I will drink LOTS of water today, I will eat slowly.

Bank holiday

Its a bank holiday so of course its been wet, cold and miserable. But we did manage to get some gardening done yesterday - which was VERY good exercise. I am still nervous about NOT having the regular income stream from ROH. I am anxious about my accounts (2009/10 are still not finished and 2010/11 haven't been started) I still have 2 outstanding hypnotherapy CD's to sort out, and ..........well you can tell I am not feeling in top form this morning. Plus meditation is still a distant goal that I haven't achieved. I always seem to put off doing it. Why? I am the worlds procrastinator which is probably the source of most if not all of my problems....except I didn't procrastinate when I found the lump in my neck - despite my fears. Why? I didn't really believe it would be anything nasty and I was seeking re-assurance. I put off things I fear will not go well because I am worried the failure is down to a deficiency in me. So I don't try to meditate because I am scared I will fail. But who will know? OK deep breath - this blog entry is not going they way I thought it would. Its a kind of automatic writing that I know will help me learn something. be honest I am really scared at the moment. What am I going to do if I don't get ANY more work from ROH and have to rely JUST on Little Aston? Well thats the point. I need to get up of my backside and start peddling my other services. I need to BELIEVE in my other skills and SHOUT ABOUT THEM!! THAYS why I need to meditate - to visualise my future to send the right signals out the universe that I am really serious about my reiki and hypnotherapy - and the readings as well. It odesn't matter how well or badly I do - if I practice I will get better. OK how am I feeling NOW? MUCH more energised and positive. I have just posted on IYSAH about the power of our imaginations. Now I know why I did. I needed to remember that as well. OK what am I going to write on my 'tabula rasa' today? Bath. meditate,find Anne's track on my DVR and re-record it, plan Paula's track relax, cook,eat, have a good evening roleplaying. I wasn't hungry when I started this entry - I am now almost as if aving decided what I need to do my body is asking me to fuel up for the day.

Well today will be crunch day at work. Maureen has to talk to me today if they want me to be in on Tuesday. I have been so heartened by the compliments from other pharmacists about my abilities tho. I am really hoping Maureen will still want me one day a week. But if she doesn't .......well two expressions of interest in my reiki, and unsolicited reading request and new people joining our development circle all seem to be indicators that the other side of my work is going to increase. I had a great reiki session with Paula yesterday. I even said that she was so much better we could be coming to the end of her treatment - but she wants to keep on with one session a week. So she clearly feels the money is worth it. Which is good. I am already mentally planning circle next week when we will have at least one new member and maybe 3. One thing is sure. I NEED TO GET MEDITATION BACK IN MY SCHEDULE. I am at the end of my 2 week exclusion diet for IC. Although to be fair I have tired one or two things. I think caffeine and yoghurt are triggers. But I am anxious to try some citrus fruit again and will do so over the weekend. I had curry last night with no ill effects so I guess that is ok. I am still eating too many biscuits tho. I really REALLY need to work on that. At least I am staying still and not gaining. I am losing slowly judging by my clothes. Or maybe I am just kidding myself. But I feel OK I am happy about how I look, and until I get any worrying health figures I feel I don't need to do much different.

I sit here this morning a bit sleepy but feeling pretty good in myself. No pain or discomfort anywhere and I am mentally planning to go shopping and have a quick free swim before I head to the salon. OK it means I will be using the car but I need to do the shopping and I need to transport the leaflets and cards up to the salon anyway - and they are quite heavy. So that feels like a plan to me. Since I need to go further afield now I may even use the car to get to where I am delivering. But I need to get a move on if I am going to do that. Meditation has taken a back seat again tho. WHY do I find it so hard to formally meditate? I know this is a form of meditation but.......... I am disappointed in myself if I am honest. I can't let todays entry go without mentioning the local elections. Stev is standing as the Lib dem candidate in our ward and I am SO proud of him

There was no storm at work. Maureen has read my email Other staff - and indeed other pharmacists I have worked with have all been telling me the same thing. I am one of the best pharmacists they have worked with. Which is very gratifying - but still doesn't make that department any safer or the strain on me any less. Indeed it is because I AM a good pharmacist that I recognise the inherent lack of safety in the systems and why I am finding the work such a strain. I await results with baited breath. I am optimistic I will still have work there- maybe even a day a week - which would keep me ticking over nicely. Today I am at the hospice - and looking forward to a nice quiet relaxing day. I will be quite happy if I only have the one patient.

Yesterday I emailed Emmeline Maureen and Pam to tell them politely but firmly I no longer wish to work a regular 3 days a week for them. I have said I am happy to do emergency and ad hoc cover. I emailed them because Emmeline and Maureen were not there. Pam was but I decided officially I needed to let Maureen and Emmeline know first hence the email but I cc'd it to Pam. No doubt there will be some discussion about it today. I have decided they cannot do much to me apart from fire me from the bank . I don't think they will but if they do it really is their loss not mine. I will have time to do my portfolio, push cards and leaflets through doors to advertise Krystal Wolf and make a real effort to get myself out of pharmacy and into spiritual work. I will still have pharmacy work because I will have Little aston - which pays better anyway. I am nervous - but I know if I don't really commit I won't get anywhere. I am also nervous about what today may bring in terms of a tirade by Pam but again she can't do anything I am not contracted to any hours. Ina worse case scenario I just walk and it would actually give me a great deal of pleasure to do that in some ways - but that is NOT living to the reiki principles. In a best case I will end up with a regular 1 day a week there - and I think they have problems with Saturdays so I may do a few of those for them as well. So what do I want from today? I want them to understand just how crap their systems are and and how they are mistreating some good people. Avril and Kerryn know what I am doing and they both understand. I think they are jealous they don't have the same freedom I do. I had a small flare up of IC yesterday and my IBS seems to be veering towards constipation again - but that could be due to the reduction in the amount of fruit I am eating. The flare up could be due to the alcohol I had the night before - but could also be due to stress. I tried chocolate yesterday . Its a case of so far so good. I think coffee is my main trigger. I think I will have to try drinking mainly coffee again for one day and see what happens. The trousers I was wearing yesterday are lose and feel longer in the leg than they used to. I reckon that is a good sign :-)