Unwanted baggage

I have had a number of indications that I have a lot of unwanted baggage I need to identify and dump. This includes my thoughts about the causes of my IBS and bladder issues, my hypnotherapy session with Clare, and today I pulled the 8 of cups from my deck. Of course this could be an indication I am leaving my pharmacy role behind - but my immediate thought was I need to leave behind unhelpful thoughts and attitudes. So can I identify this excess baggage? Lets see My excess weight My lack of self confidence My quest for perfection My guilt about Alan/Edna My guilt about Steve My guilt about my relationship with Jane and the Tuckers My automatic assumption that if anything goes wrong it MUST be my fault And probably a lot more but.......... They all stem from my lack of self confidence - which in turn comes form my self image. It would be easy to say that my excess is the cause of my poor self image - but is it? Its more likely its a symptom of my poor self image. Why am I having these thoughts now? Well things are looking up from Krystal Wolf - and this could be preparing me for greater things in the new year - opportunities which I won't take advantage of if I don't clear up my self image? Clare gave me a key word I think. She was talking about my inner strength. So I need to see my strength in situations . I do not have a poor self image because I am fat - I am fat because my poor self image made me feel I wasn't worth bothering with. It doesn't matter where my poor self image comes from - all that matters is that I deal with it. Weak = failure - strong = success. Weak = being scared to do things because of fear of failure - strong = having the courage to act in confidence. Weakness = failure - strength means using the feedback! On one level I know I am strong - look back at everything that has happened over the past 3 years. I survived it intact. That took strength. Why am I scared to be strong? Is it because I can only tap into that strength in times of trouble? Now there's an interesting thought. I equate strength with trouble. LOTS to think about there.............