Gosh over a week since I posted anything. It has been so busy - and I had some 9.00 am starts whihc robbed me of the time to blog and meditate. 9.30 is my default start time - not 10.00. Pritti has gone on maternity leave early since she is at risk of giving birth early they think. Work are hoping I will do 9.30 until 4.30. I will see how it goes. If the 4.20 finish is too much I will pull it back to 4.00. I haven't meditated properly for a week either. I am as ready as I can be for Christmas - and have even managed to fit in getting the car serviced and getting my hair cut as well as the shopping. I was meant to giving Anne reiki on Wednesday morning. Sadly she was too ill - and departure for Cornwall has been delayed again. I have a horrible feeling that Cornwall isn't going to happen. Even worse I have a horrible feeling she may well die over the holiday period. I do hope I am wrong. There is a lot of sadness about at the moment. Tyler's Dad died totally unexpectedly on Wednesday. We had arranged to go and see them tonight - and that is still going ahead. Rachel says it will do him god to see us - but I won;t be wishing them 'Happy Christmas' I heard 'In the Bleak Midwinter' on the radio on Wednesday . Luckily I was just pulling into park because I was reminded about Edna - and I found I was very close to tears. On brighter note I have heard from denise (the chaplain) and from Rachel Sprason. I lost their numbers when I lost my phone . It is so good to be back in touch. I hope we can find a way to meet up in 2012. Tony is doing well as a tv psychic - an occupation Jane has sadly decided to ignore. I sent her an email which included that piece of information. The return email came quickly - but commented on all the OTHER bits and ignored that entirely. I need to think what I want to do about my relationship with Jane - but that is for the new year. But that is for later. For the moment I am just so pleased Tony is enjoying so much - even tho there are times when he logs on and doesn't get a single call. We now have a phone with a headset to make things easier for him. Life is changing again as we approach the end of 2011. That means I am changing again. I need to make the changes positive and healthy. But am I changing in response to the changes in my life - or the changes happening because I have changed? Hmmm And as far as food is concerned - well I haven't spent fantastic amounts of money on Christmas food - but we do have a lot of less than healthy But it is a holiday after all. I am actually quite confident I won't over indulge and put on loads of weight. I will enjoy my food however. last night I had crusty bread and brie - but I found I only wanted one slice - not the 2 or 3 I would have had in the past. Apart from dreading work today - which could be manic if lots of patients need to be discharged today - things are good and positive. 2011 is ending well I think