It is now more than 3 weeks since the biopsy with no sign of a result. I rang the GP after 2 weeks and they didn't have anything. They advised me to ring the hospital. Initially I thought I won't bother. If they have the result it will be on its way. If they don't ringing won't make any difference.
Finally on Tuesday this week I rang and spoke to the consultants secretary. It was an amazing conversation. 'Oh they will give you the result at your next clinic appointment. Would you like me to make one for you?' As I already had an appointment for March 24th I declined this offer, but said had been told the result would be sent to me 'Oh they say all sorts of things in clinic' was the reply. She did say if I wanted her to she could send the result to my GP which I asked her to do. She took my details and was able to assure me the result WAS back .
I was annoyed. Did I misunderstand or was I misinformed at my last appointment? I suppose I can understand why they want to give the news in person especially if its bad news - but since Thyroid cancer isn't life threatening as far as I know, I felt I couldn't take comfort from the fact that my clinic appointment was still a long way off. But I felt at least I would know something soon.
Yesterday I got a bombshell. I got home from work to find a letter from the hospital giving me a new appointment for next Monday. I am now in turmoil. It can't be coincidence that the letter was sent the same day I rang. Did my call make someone look at the result and think 'oops' we need to see her sooner? There are only two reasons for that. Either it is bad news or it is non diagnostic. I cannot believe they would re-arrange things that swiftly for a normal result.
In one way I am relieved. I now really WILL know what is going on Monday. Nightmare scenario is the result is non diagnostic and I have to have another biopsy. REAL nightmare scenario would be the appointment on Monday is just to tell me that. The appointment is for the ENT clinic - and I am fairly sure a biopsy under ultrasound guidance would need to be done in X-Ray - but maybe they will send me to X_Ray on Monday for the biopsy. I don't know.
But I am fairly sure she warned me at my last appointment that the biopsy would probably not be able to be re-done until the appointment 10 weeks later.
So I am not happy - and have been left less than impressed with the unfathomable workings of the NHS. If I didn't know my way round the NHS and its systems I would still be waiting for a result that was never going to turn up..
I am not at work between now and Monday - the first day of the last module of the hypnotherapy course . While having work to do would be a useful distraction I wouldn't be able to focus properly and wouldn't be safe really.
Losing the 3 weeks booking for Emmeline's holiday did concern me - but the thought has occurred to me that maybe I've lost it because I will be having my surgery then. If I am to be told on Monday I have cancer an op in March would be feasible.
Last night was the last night of the mediumship development course and one of the things Chris Butler ,who runs the course, said last night was his guide was telling him to tell us to have faith. He meant faith in our medium abilities and our guides. Maybe it has stuck in my mind because I need to have faith that everything will work out for the best.
As for food and exercise I have been swimming more with Margaret, but have been using the car to get to ROH as I have been too tired to face the walk back after a day on my feet at work. But I reckon work counts as 'moving my body' especially when I don't use lifts. The kinect and the wii fit have bene left off tho. Food - lest not talk about it. Chocolate and carbs are good comfort food. But I haven't abandoned cooking, or fruit and vegetables completely.
I can't focus on that until I really know what is going on with my thyroid - and I think I have to forgive myself for feeling like that.
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