Mixed messages

Yesterday was an odd day. The course went well. Nick did a session on practice building which didn't send me into full blown panic mode. In fact he gave some information about the sort of arrangements they make with practitioners who want to use their premises and it is very affordable and reasonable. 10.00 per hour although it comes down to about 7.50 an hour if you book a full session. I am now sure I will be working from there at least one day a week.

I took both my Paul McKenna and Thomas Moore books with me to show to anyone who was interested and ended up reading some of Moore's book for my own benefit. The bodies poetic of illnesses seemed appropriate. And as a result I have booked myself in for a massage today when the course is over.. This will also give me a chance to see what their consulting rooms are like and chat to someone who uses the facilities and see what they really think. I am sure the massage will also be very therapeutic.

When I got home Tony was in a much more open mood and was able to admit he is still getting his head round my problems. But he was in a happier frame of mind so that cheered me up a lot, I couldn't be bothered to cook so we had kebab meat and chips. I paid the price for that with a very bad nights sleep. I feel bloated. And as a result I am up at stupid o'clock today. I decided I might as well get up and do things .

One disturbing thing that happened yesterday was a call from Sensible locums. I couldn't understand why they were calling me as I had specifically said I wasn't in the market for any bookings at the moment. I almost decided to ignore them but didn't - and I am glad I didn't - at least I think I am. They were contacting me to ask if I would be willing to do next weeks dates at ROH for THEM instead of HCL. Apparently HCL are under investigation for fraud and ROH have been told they cannot use them as an agency at the moment. So I either agreed to work via Sensible or I wouldn't be working. Carl told me I needed to speak to Emmeine before confirming. Luckily I was able to do that last night and she confirmed that she cannot use HCL locums at the moment. What bothers me about this is that I have had tell HCL I can't do next week , so ROH don't end up paying a penalty for giving less than a weeks notice of cancellation. I have done so but I feel uncomfortable lying to them. I have no dount they are in trouble of some sort. Apart from a text from Anita asking me if I had submitted a time sheet for last week at ROH I haven't heard anything from her. In particular I have ad no follow up on a booking at Good Hope to start on 7th March. So I am wondering if all the hospitals have decided they can't use them. And I a wondering what this means for my future work. But then maybe I am due a break so I can have my op without having to cancel any bookings. And maybe I am due a break so I can put in some serious time to practice building for Krystalwolf.

When I got home I decided to put out an appeal for volunteers for life coaching. As that can be done by pone I just put it in my status. I got inundated with reponses. Paula from the salon is interested, as is Lindsey Gilpin, Rachel, and Jen. I didn't expect such interest . And I found myself thinking that if the session with Lindsey goes well, maybe I could get some work for the Pharmacy establishment. And I spotted a niche market by advertising myself to pharmacists., After all I know their stresses only too well.

Jane is home and has not gone over the top in her response to my situation, All being well I will be seeing her in a weks time for her hypnotherapy session and we can talk then.

One other thing that happened yestertday was I got a call from the thyroid co-ordinator des McGire. Apparently I should hav eseen him on Monday but he wans't available. His job is to answer any questions and explain things in laymans terms. I told him my background and said I thought I had a good idea of what I was in for. However he has been able to tell me I am in the category where they could well give me a short ntice booking. I was right to keep my phone with me this week. And I will be in the new hospital. He also says there is a good chance I will be in a single room which is great news

I did go swimming yesterday morning, and there is a chnace I will go again this morning. Not having to pay does make it more inviting. Next week I will have to brave going with Maggie - but hopefully she won't want to go on about Tony's behaviour on Monday. Now I can see signs of him calming down I could cope with that better anyway now. Plus she now has her own problems as David has been laid off.

Food feels very out of control at the moment - the biscuits at the college are always a temptation. Plus I haven't been too motivated to get my own lunch. But I wasn't too bad yesterday. i took fruit and some crisps and got some soup and a samosa from the deli. Not brilliant - but not ott with carbohydrates.

My plan for this morning since I am up so early is to head over to the triangle to hit Sainsbury and also see if I can get a microphone for my DVR. Then go for a swim before heading to the college. I will get some lunch while I am in Sainsbury. Cheaper than the deli and it gives me the option to get something healthy.

I feel quite optimistic this morning - in fact make that very optimistic. I am still scared about the operation, and now a bit concerned about my futrue locum work prospects if HCL are going down. I have just remembered that the PAYE umbrella company they used also went under a few months ago so I really can believe the company is in trouble. But then maybe I wont be needing much locum work? That is a very pleasant prospect.