I am so tired all the time. I don't know if it is due to my thyroid function (which is not impossible) or whether the cancer is in some way taking some energy for its growth (which again isn't totally impossible ) or whether its just due to the stress of this waiting game. It could be a combonation of all three. Whatever the cause I am struggling.

I can almost feel the weight piling on me and its a horrible feeling. Probably all in my imagination but I can't even begin to tackle that at the moment

H (Darren's Dad) has taken a personal interest in my situation. he apparently has taken it as a personal affront that someone who is nice enough to help Gill and Darren the way I did when she had her operation is now having to cope with this. He is very concerned that I don't concentrate so much on the physical that I lose touch with my higher self and my spiritual self. In a way this blog is to help me keep that contact as sometimes it almost works like automatic writing and helps me work out answers to problems. But today I am going to try and do a proper meditation before I go to work.