I had a positive day yesterday. I got paperwork done because I felt motivated to tackle it. I walked to work. I had a good life coaching session with :Lindsey Gilpin - the chair of the English Pharmacy Board. To be honest all I did was listen and ask a few questions. I don't think it was really life coaching because I ended up giving advice which I shouldn't do. However Lindsey herself felt it helped her and in the end that is all that matters.

Work was OK because I was only there until 12.30 I spent most of the day helping to show a new locum the ropes. She is there today and tomorrow as well so there is a good chance I will be able to leave early. Dear God please let the hospital stay as quiet as it has been this week.

I am tired this morning, I could cry if I am honest. I am beating myself up about feeling this way when I know some of how I feel is perfect;y justified by the circumstances. I need to keep in touch with my higher self and try to keep some perspective.

Yesterday I spotted a new patient who had her op on her birthday and wondered if that was an omen for me. Then when I got home Tony told me he had mediated again. He meditated the day before that I got shown a bunch of flowers and got the message all will be well. I suggested it would have bene nicer if they had given a hint about the date of my op. Yesterdays meditation was to ask that question and he got the numbers 10 and 15 when he asked when I would be going in and when I would be coming out. Those dates are feasible for March and May - but not April. as I can't see myself being admitted on a Saturday. Fingers crossed it is this month. I am thinking of ringing up to see if anyone has any more information,

If I am honest I dont want to work today. At least not a whole day. i think I will see if a really early finish like 3 could be possible.

Still not really even thinking about food. If I fancy something I eat it. I do try to eat it slowly. I am actually following Paul's rules sort of but I dont think I will make much progress until after my op,