Safety valve

This blog is really the only place where I can own up to exactly how fed up I am at the moment. Well moaning on here is much better for me than comfort eating. All I can think is about the things that haven't happened

I still havent done my accounts
I am still not drinking enough water
I am still not eating slowly enough
I still haven't got any reiki clients
Exercise was going OK - but the wii fit board decided to play up and I switched the whole system off in disgust after doing 2 yoga exercises very badly.

I am worried about Tony because he didnt feel up to going out last night. Yesterday should have been our return to Wolverhampton and Gill and Darren. But he did 20 minutes on the wii fit (grr the board worked for him of course) and ended up really tired. He also didn't look well and I am worried his wound isn't healing as it should .

I am also worried about the lump in my neck. This morning I feel listless, lethargic, fed up. I didnt sleep well and one point my right hand felt the way it used to when I had carpal tunnel syndrome. Of course that is another symptom that fits the hypothyroid diagnosis I have made for myself. But that could well be a psychosomatic reaction so I dont trust it.

My IBS is still grumbling along. No pain but some discomfort. I have the feeling I should be taking Movicol on a more regular basis. But that could just be my mind playing tricks on me about what my guts actually are doing..

I am scared of life at the moment - and I think I am building walls around me to protect me. But those walls are cutting me off from people. I can feel myself retreating into myself, not wanting to bother anyone.

I have GOT to get to grips with how I am feeling and deal with it sensibly.