At least this sort of change is. It feels horribly as if this could be how life is for the foreseeable future, and I can't see anyway to wrench back control and get my life how I want it.
I have big plans - a reiki business a couple of days a week plus some work as a community locum ,losing 3 stone in weight. And at the moment I am getting NOWHERE with ANYTHING.
It s so difficult to motivate yourself to do things when you have no real reason. About the only thing that is going well at the moment is exercise. I have done 30 minutes today. 10 minutes step plus, and island lap and 10 minutes free step. Jogging is now very regularly on my schedule - and I am really pleased. I can look at what I am doing with exercise and see success and improvement. But I can't help wondering what I will be like when I have done the Race for Life and have nothing to train for?
Yesterday my FB status was 'I am visualising success' I am indeed doing just that but I have realised I am visualising in a dissociated way rather than really getting inside the picture. At least that is something I can work on.
I never envisaged the sort of life I have now. But this is where all my plans seem to have put me. I just hope I can start making some sense of it soon and then maybe I can get moving again.
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