It isn't what you know but who you know

The lads a meeting with the landlorad and Rob's parents tonight. Rob's stepdad is a builder and was apparetly able to shoot the landlord down in flames over the state of the house. Also the boys don;t think he has insurance which means he could be in DEEP trouble anyway. he threatened to sue for the rent, but as the boys are students, he would sue the guarantors. Rob's guarantor for Dawlish Road was his Dad NOT his Mum. Rob's stepdad mae sure the landlors knew this and hamded over a busness card which said Mark Hunter MP House of Commons. Apparently the landlords face was a picture.

So the boys are out of the contract for Dawlish Road and can move to Warwards Road with no worries.


Now if only I can get Emily sorted out life will look a LOT better.

The good tha bad and the unlucky?

I feel overwhelmed and just about ready to scream. This has been a very mixed week. Edna continues to be frail, but seems to be getting to grips with her warfrain with a lot of inut from me and a tablet splitter to do the half tablets she needs for the 0.5mg dose. But yesterday she was uset and saying she didn't really want to be here (alive that is) . The god and bad are blindingly obvious

Emily is back from her holiday and has finally repsonded to an emial I sent her about my Occ health appointment. She was saying I ned to sign the consent form or at least give verbal consent. i told her I had given her verbal consent, and also told her I now wanted to retire. her response just focussed on the issue of the consent and she totally ignored the retirment issue completely. Didn't even acknowledge what I said. Thats more bad

Steve and the lads had a problem with the landlord becasue of damp in the house. It all got very complicated but at one point it seemd possible they might need to move into number 6 pdq. So we pushed things along and we got a fantastic quote ona gorgeous kitchen. The deal (and the kitchen) were so good that I've gone mad and orderde one for me - but not unitl I get my retirment pay , or Mum's legacy, or if I asked I know Edna would pay - but I don;t want to do that. So the house is now makig prigress - but in the end the lads found a new house in Warwards Lane and move in on Sunday.

I oredred my kitchen today, Steve got a fitting date for his klitchen today (November 3rd) (thats the good)

The unlucky is that I have just had a text from Steve telling me the landlord of Dawish Road is threatening to take them court over breaking the lease. I told Steve to get advise, but I think Robs parents may be being a bit pushy , and I have a horrible feeling the landlord may have the right of it. Where that leaves us parents (who have all acted as gurantors) I don;t know. I just hope its all hot air. But it was obvious Steve was upset and doesn't want to talk about it. Have they been unlucky or were they stupid/badly advised. I can't bail Steve out if they have to pay rent on the old place. To an extent if they havn't taken advice and thought it through properly they may learn a useful ( but potentially expensive ) life lesson. If Robs Mum and Stepdad have advised Rob badly as far as I am concerned they can sort the whole mess out.

On the plus side, I have found an incentive to walk - delivering leaflets for the lib dems. An hour today on Black Haynes road and it will be another hour or so for the other roads. Its only once every 2 months or so and I feel I am doing something against the BNP who are on the rise in the area.

I feel so down, and emotional and fed up and tired (cos I'm still not sleeping) I am in theory back at work on Monday - but faced with the imminent prospect of half pay if I don't go back. I feel I am whinging all the time .

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO TO MAKE THINGS BETTER AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND STOP LIFE FROM GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET

Getting focussed

I have been signed off work for two weeks. I had a trying weekend with Edna because she developed a severe head pain that meant the doctor had to be called out on Saturday, and I got called over to be with her. The doctor decidedit was refferred pain from neck arthritis (yes a pain in the neck!) and prescribed some Diazepam which I had to go and get for her. I then had to doctor her MDS so her night time slot contained the correct meds becase she couldn't take the Temazeam as well. I then went over on Sunday and did the same thing again. I should have rung her yesterday but didn't. Its awful to say I suspect she will almost try and get me to go over by exaggerating her symptoms. Sue told me on Saturday the moans and groans got worse the mment I arrived.

It seems clear I am going to have to play a more active role in her life, and I can't square that with full time work, so I really NEED to get my retirement sorted out. Now I have these two weeks off I can get focussed on dealing with my priority problems, and plan how I can best manage everything. It is not impossible for instance that I may have to help her manage her meds on a daily basis - a rospect that makes my heart sink at the thought of all the driving - nearly 100 miles a week. But mabe I'm being pessimistic.

I'm tired, trying to deal with my own health issues (back, bladder, BP, cholesterol,  GI tact plus the strange pain in my urethral area) fed up with confrontation at work because of the way Emily  has treated me, while I am still emotionally fragile after all the other events of this year.  Edna's health issues are the straw that has broken the camels back.

I need space to think.plan, pray and re-charge my batteries. Lets be honest I need some me time - well real some 'we' time since I feel Tony and I have not had any quality time for ages.

I want to use the blog to help me stay on track - and yes I am still trying to deal with my wieght issues as well. I will have one big help with that though. I am being refferred for 'excercse on prescripton' which will give me reduced/free gym membership.

Seeking nrmality

The long gap since my last post says it all. haven't had the energy or the will to post. Edna is out of hospital - and has been out since last Friday. Since ten I have manged to get the aperwork and bank vsts done so I am now joint signatory for her accounts, helped her navigates the periles of Warfarin dose adhustments (with a lot of help from Will Lester who has been brilliant) I have also been given a personla trainer on the NHS and may ge reduced gym membership to help me.
I phoned in sick on Monday and feel so listless and lethargic and I don't know what to do. I feel totally unable to face work - at least full time work.

I am going to see Maggie Vivien on Monday and I am hoping she will sign me off.

Dee asn't contacted me and Emily is on leave until Octiber 13th so nothing can be done to sort out my retirement/re-deployment situation until she comes back and I feel very VERY fed up.

Edna

They have discovered Edna has a small (very small) PE. So she is going onto therapeutic Clexane and is to start Warfarin. But they don't really think it is big enough to be responsible for her brathlesness. And they still don't have any idea about her foot. That foot is quite warm still and I'm not convinced the cellulitis diagnosis was totally wrong - but on the other hand the pain is a lot less.

I was relieved when I learned the INR checks can be done as home visits. How on earth would I get her to the clinic? Fosters couldn't get her there could they. And they weighed her. 53 Kg (8st 3 lbs) She used to be 10st

I have been thinking again about the sermon on interruptions. Everything seems to be forcing me to stop working - at least to stop wirking full time. Is that so I have time to do what Edna needs? Is this a sign she is going to live long enough to need that help? I hope so - but I have mixed feelings about that prospect. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could SEE what is going to happen. But then we are suposed to have faith that we will be able to cope.

I wish I could have a chat to Denise.

A week off work

I've manged to get this week off as annula leave. I didn;t really leave my boss muc choice - I think she knew if she said no I'd just go off sick

My cholesterol is very high - 6.8 but my BP is down to a more respectable 153/81 (from 168/89) but Dr Parsons wants to see me to reveiw my back (Thursday morning) and I'm being sent for H Pylori testing (Friday afternoon) plus the debtist on Wednesday plus the fact I am very tired and can't cope with rushing.

They still don't know what is wrong with Fanny's foot . They have fixated on her chest and think she has pneumonia . I've tried to tell them her chest is ALWAYS like that - but apparebntly they haven't got the records of her admission to C4, so they are talking about RATS referals (whihc she has already had) Oxygen therapy (whihc she has alreday been assessed for and doesn't need. I feel like acreaming

That Monday morning feeling

This week that Monday morning feeling is tired, with stomach pains and a creaky back and very worried.

I am dressed for work - but don't think I have much chance of making it. My mind wouldn't be on the job anyway.