A week off work

I've manged to get this week off as annula leave. I didn;t really leave my boss muc choice - I think she knew if she said no I'd just go off sick

My cholesterol is very high - 6.8 but my BP is down to a more respectable 153/81 (from 168/89) but Dr Parsons wants to see me to reveiw my back (Thursday morning) and I'm being sent for H Pylori testing (Friday afternoon) plus the debtist on Wednesday plus the fact I am very tired and can't cope with rushing.

They still don't know what is wrong with Fanny's foot . They have fixated on her chest and think she has pneumonia . I've tried to tell them her chest is ALWAYS like that - but apparebntly they haven't got the records of her admission to C4, so they are talking about RATS referals (whihc she has already had) Oxygen therapy (whihc she has alreday been assessed for and doesn't need. I feel like acreaming

That Monday morning feeling

This week that Monday morning feeling is tired, with stomach pains and a creaky back and very worried.

I am dressed for work - but don't think I have much chance of making it. My mind wouldn't be on the job anyway.

Here we go again

I woke up this morning long before everyone else as usual and decided ( was called?) to go to the 8.00 am communion at St Mary's. I felt the need to shore up my spiritual strength. Halfway thriugh the service my mobile went off (how ironic thr sermon was all about interuptions) and I saw the call was from Fosters. I didn't take the call then - Istayed at the service. When it was over I rang back and dsiocevered Edna was on the verge of being re-admitted to Selly Oak. So I spent today at SOh - when I wasn't getting stuff from Edna's flat.

Why do I say I was called to go to church? Well I had a sort of premonition about my phone goin off (so why didn't I turn it off?) and there were SO many things in the service that spoke to me. The sermon about interuptions was about her interruptons can be God's way fo showing us what we SHOULD be doing rather than what we PLANNED to be doing. With that idea i mind the message of this year is crystal clear....... I think.

I am tired, I can't face work tommorrow, and I have pains in my stomach that I have suffered from for 2 days now. I am wondering if I have an ulcer. I know I am stressed beyond belief so it wouldn't surprise me if I did - but it may not be. I have an apointmeny with the Nirse tommorrow (to follow up on my cholesterol test which I know was high so I'm guessing I will be on a Statin tommorrow night. Maybe I'll be back on bendro as well - and frankly I don't give a shit at the moment.

This morning going to church was a small attempt to runaway - becasue no-one knew where I was. It was lovely for the short time before that phine went off...............

Finally

Work is over, I have one the shoping and been to see Edna and I don't have to go ANYWHERE for the rest of the w/end.I am going to chill, maybe enjoy some alcohol, and not worry about anything.

We have finally got No 6 ready for the man to come an clear it out. Then we can really start to get on with renovations.

I don't intend to think about food, or work, or finance, or anything that worries me so much these days. I have had strange stomach pains today and I do NOT intend to develope an ulcer.

The end is in sight

I have one and half days of this long week to go. I just want it to be over. Yesterday I opened the minutes of a clincial services meeting that I had not been able to attend. I was incensed to see i one paragraph that aparently I am to fill a slot in the band 6 rota from November - on C2 . Funny thats where I am now.

I blasted Emly (politely) in a email which included the relevant paragraph from the minutes. I copied Dee in on te email. Dee repsonded by seding a new e-mail (not including mine) to Emily John and Donna making it plain SHE was concerned and annoyed and demanding immediate communication about wtf is going on. I am nervous about what may happen if Emily is doing the meeting at SOH this morning. I still don't know if she is oncompetent at man management or or if this is a delibeate ploy to get rid of me. So if she does want us to meet she can talk and I will isten but I am saying NOTHING without talking to Dee first.

Last night I was in the mod for comfort food se we had pie and chips from Barnes Hill. I got a larg portio between us and we still have loads left over. I am eating smaller portions I am sure.

I haven't lost sight of what I am trying to do.

This is a LONG week

And it will be longer than normal becasue I am working on Saturday.

I am tired and very creaky this morning. I overslept and for 2 pins would phone in sick I feel sh*te.

Update

I'm tired, my back has been playing up all day, and I ended up having to lock up on a day when I had left the car at home.

Food has gone OK, I have managed to walk more - although my back has aid the price for that. Work sor tof went OK - but I want to know what they are planning on offerring me