Oh dear - I have had a huge gap in this blog. And in the intervening time as well as having my radio-iodine and my holiday I have put on 9lbs. I feel out of control. Tony has done readings for me and several times and prompted me to keep on blogging. And I have been more regular in my other blog. But NOT this one - and maybe that is part of the reason my weight is out of control. I have also juts had a message about acceptance. I think that is because I have to accept myself as I am NOW before I can change it.

WHY am I worried about my weight? Two reasons. I want to feel I look good, and I want to be healthy. I currently have a water infection and the symptoms I was telling the doctor did have me wondering if I was diabetic. The dipstick showed no sugar in my urine, but a heavy infection. When I have finished the course of antibiotics I have to go back to check it has cleared and also to have bloods done for Calcium, Thyroid hormone levels, blood glucose (just in case) cholesterol, and I have no doubt they will check my blood pressure. OK I know I am overweight, but I am NOT diabetic, and don't believe I am hypertensive. I had my BP checked lots while I was in having my op , and I have had it checked at the surgery and no-one has tried to put on anti-hypertensives. So if my BP is still OK, I shouldn't need to go on a statin even if my cholesterol IS high - which I know it will be.

What does being healthy mean to me? It means NOT having to take a load of drugs every day, it means being able to do the things I want to do,

What does looking good mean to me? It means having a size 14 figure? That feels out of reach at the moment.

But do I look BAD at the moment? Is it a coincidence I am tyoing this as I watch Gok Wan work his magic? No.

I need to get Maggie and me to our photo shoot/pamper day. I always planned to do the tasteful nude photo and maybe thats what I need.

In the meantime I will carry on doing my exercise, eating as healthily as I can and be in control of things.