The scales are a very deceitful peice of equipment because 'weight' is such a nebulous thing. Fluctuations of less than 2lb (!Kg) are meanigless. Except they can have a devestating effect when you are watching the figure on the scale. Thats why I dont weigh myself regulalry. I am also afraid of what the scales may say.
On Saturday I needed to weigh a cat so I had to step on the scales - and to my amazement it registered half a stone ( (about 3Kg) lighter than I was expecting. Not only through but well below the 14st barrier . I am not sure I believe it. I did a body test on the wii fit and it showed I had stayed static - but interestingly below the 14st barrier still.
But at the very least my poor food management and lack of exercise hasn't caused me to puy ON weight - and that is a big boost.
This morning I used the wii fit - and jogged. I did an island lap -something I would have been unable to face last week.
I may not trust the scales on a day to day basis - but over the long term they show trends - and the ternd is in the right direction
Monday, 26 July 2010
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Feeling better
This morning I had the energy to exercise and use the wii fit. I not only exercised but I did 20 minutes. I am confident my food management will be better today too. I am feeling mUCH more positive. I do hope it continues
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
First steps
Yesterday I officially volunteered as a reiki therapist at the hopsice. There is a long way to go. I will need a CRB check (unless I can retrieve mine from the agency gggrrrr) But I have taken the first step. Unless they tunr me down at some point I will giving reiki in the hospice this year. I need to find out how many other Marie Curie hospces there are I could get to. Wolverhampton would be possible.
This doesn't override the overwhelming feeling of tiredness I have tis morning. I have had no response to my request to drop my hours to 30 a week. Probably because Natasha isn't there. Oh well its only a few weeks more.
AHP contacted me yesterday to ask how things were going at Solihull. I have told them I am only looking for short term sporadic work like the week at Leamington which was fine. So they will know the news this morning. I dont think they will too worried. I suspect that soon they will have too many locums on their book anyway.
Keeping positive at the moment is tricky because I am so tired.I know I am eating emotionally and it is doing me no good at all. And I am too tired to use the wii fit regulalrly.
If I am to change me so I can lose weight I ahve got to change my life so I can do it. Its as simple as that
This doesn't override the overwhelming feeling of tiredness I have tis morning. I have had no response to my request to drop my hours to 30 a week. Probably because Natasha isn't there. Oh well its only a few weeks more.
AHP contacted me yesterday to ask how things were going at Solihull. I have told them I am only looking for short term sporadic work like the week at Leamington which was fine. So they will know the news this morning. I dont think they will too worried. I suspect that soon they will have too many locums on their book anyway.
Keeping positive at the moment is tricky because I am so tired.I know I am eating emotionally and it is doing me no good at all. And I am too tired to use the wii fit regulalrly.
If I am to change me so I can lose weight I ahve got to change my life so I can do it. Its as simple as that
Monday, 19 July 2010
I have a dream
not as big as Martin Luther's dream of course but I have a dream for my future. It involves me = slim and energetic, working as a reiki therapist. Working with people not pieces of paper. One of the CYLI7D questions is 'What do you love to do so much you would pay to do it?' I realised after some soul searching over the weekend 'helping people' comes into that category. But at the moment Pharmacy isn't letting me do that in a way I can relate too. But my efforts to build a reiki business are so far foundering. But I want to use my reiki - so I have decided to volunteer to provide it at the hospice.
I have also decided I will never build a reiki business until I comit to it - so this booking will be my last. I am still happy to do odd weeks to cover but generally I dont want to be working 5 days a week.
Financially we can survive on my pension and the money in the bank. I would rather try and fail than regret never trying at all. I think my lack of commitment is one of the reasons for my lack of progress.
If I start making progress with that, who knows what will hapen to my eight?
I have also decided I will never build a reiki business until I comit to it - so this booking will be my last. I am still happy to do odd weeks to cover but generally I dont want to be working 5 days a week.
Financially we can survive on my pension and the money in the bank. I would rather try and fail than regret never trying at all. I think my lack of commitment is one of the reasons for my lack of progress.
If I start making progress with that, who knows what will hapen to my eight?
Friday, 16 July 2010
The weekend is in sight
Only one more day to work this week - and I am SO glad. I am SO tired this morning. I can't face the wii fit, my attempts at meditation last night were a disaster and frankly food was also a disaster yesterday.
But one of the beauties of Pal's training is that after a day like that I dont feel like throwing in the towel, I just think I will try to do better today.
One of my cards yesterday was 'God Box' and I did spend my lunch time writing down all the things I am worrying about so I can put them in a 'God Box' and in theory stop worrying about them.
My CYLI7D training is still working even if' I can make thin' seems out of reach at the moment - but hey all I have to do is follow those 4 rules.............................
4 weeks of full time work has convinced me I can't do full time work any more. I just hope I have a chnace at this job at Worcester . 30 hours a week in a private hospital will be enough for me. I will be happier when I get some sort of response from them to say tey have received my application. I must try and get through to them today
But one of the beauties of Pal's training is that after a day like that I dont feel like throwing in the towel, I just think I will try to do better today.
One of my cards yesterday was 'God Box' and I did spend my lunch time writing down all the things I am worrying about so I can put them in a 'God Box' and in theory stop worrying about them.
My CYLI7D training is still working even if' I can make thin' seems out of reach at the moment - but hey all I have to do is follow those 4 rules.............................
4 weeks of full time work has convinced me I can't do full time work any more. I just hope I have a chnace at this job at Worcester . 30 hours a week in a private hospital will be enough for me. I will be happier when I get some sort of response from them to say tey have received my application. I must try and get through to them today
Thursday, 15 July 2010
Being realistic
This is something us people on journey's to health and fitness sometimes have problems with. Setting realistic goals, setting realistic exercise targets, actually being honest with ourselves about how much we DID eat and drink . Understanding why we do this can be useful in working out how we got to where we are in the first place - which may help us move on.
But sometimes the universe just gives you a message that is too clear to ignore and you have to face up to the hard facts.
My attack of realism is the fact that I am so very tired at the moment. I physically cann't work full time . I can short hours on a longe term basis or long hours on a short term basis but going back to full time work is not on the cards for me.
The universe has stepped in to teach me this lesson - by taking away the trip we were going to make to Leicester this weekend for a BBQ. The prospect of a weekend with nothing to do is very VERY appealing. However the universe is also waving a carrot under my nose of a permanent 30 hours a week job at a small private hospital in Worcester. It was put on the groups Intranet the day I turned up to work at another of the groups hospitals. So I have applied for it. Having some certainty of income will make my life much easier and help me to get to grips with all the issues I mentioned on Monday. I have finally reaslised I have been so focussed on work issues I havent focussed on the other issues hence the lack of progress. There is also a self image issue that I perceive myself to e a failure - when I may not be.
This morning I am so tired I can't face the wii fit at all. I am wondering if I am actually safe to try and cary on at Solihull seeing how tired it is making me. I may ask Natasha today if she has a cut off date for me yet.
Knowing how much longer they want me for will help me decide what to do
But sometimes the universe just gives you a message that is too clear to ignore and you have to face up to the hard facts.
My attack of realism is the fact that I am so very tired at the moment. I physically cann't work full time . I can short hours on a longe term basis or long hours on a short term basis but going back to full time work is not on the cards for me.
The universe has stepped in to teach me this lesson - by taking away the trip we were going to make to Leicester this weekend for a BBQ. The prospect of a weekend with nothing to do is very VERY appealing. However the universe is also waving a carrot under my nose of a permanent 30 hours a week job at a small private hospital in Worcester. It was put on the groups Intranet the day I turned up to work at another of the groups hospitals. So I have applied for it. Having some certainty of income will make my life much easier and help me to get to grips with all the issues I mentioned on Monday. I have finally reaslised I have been so focussed on work issues I havent focussed on the other issues hence the lack of progress. There is also a self image issue that I perceive myself to e a failure - when I may not be.
This morning I am so tired I can't face the wii fit at all. I am wondering if I am actually safe to try and cary on at Solihull seeing how tired it is making me. I may ask Natasha today if she has a cut off date for me yet.
Knowing how much longer they want me for will help me decide what to do
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