Listening to your mind and body

Yesterday was a very bad day. I was demotivated for a variety of reasons that I could rationalise about. My frustrations over my work situation were slightly alleviated by a call from Manie to tell me she has had some interest in me. Today she is going to ring me so I can hear all the details and discuss them with her.

Wr got invited over to Gill and Darren's last night. I was aware as I drove over that I had visons of chocolate in my head. Gill and Simon decided to go to the shop before the game started and I decided to go with them to get something to drink. I also bought two bars of chocolate one for me and one for Tony. Almost as soon as I had the bars the feeling that I wanted some chocolate faded quite a lot. But when it resurrected itself a bit later I slowly ate and really really enjoyed my bar of chocolate.

Psychologically it did me the power of good.

Both Beyond Chocolate and Paul McKenna advise people trying to lose weight to listen to their bodies. But that also involves listening to your mind because that is how your body communicates with you. Understanding and honouring your emotions is the theme of 'Care of the Soul' a book I was recommended by Denise when I got back to work 4 years ago after CYLI7D.

And it occurred to me this morning that you not only have to listen, but you have to trust the message you are getting. In just the same way I know I have to trust my intuition to give me correct information.

The issue of trusting myself seems to be a recurring theme in different areas of my life at the moment - and I know that is significant.

I trusted my instincts over the chocolate bar. I need to identify where I am NOT trusting myself and then maybe I will start to make some progress.

So tuning in this morning I am tired, I have slight back discomfort, I am feeling that I have fallen behind in work round the house and garden so I have not gone to the park. I will get my exercise by doing some of those jobs. I am nervous about the information Manie is going to give me and worried I am going to make a bad decision about my job future.

I am certain that I will go for whatever job seems best for me even tho I am certain it is going to involve a longer journey than I would like.

But my instincts are telling me I am not going to make progress by staying in hospital work. And Manie is giving me a chance to move into the community.

Once I have my work sorted out , I think other things will fall into place and I will then do much better with my weight loss.

Do you suffer from diet rage?

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=346

I read this article and realised I do. Which is why I have posted the link for anyone else who suffers from the same phenomenon!!

What goes up............

must come down. Yesterday I was on a high. Today I am down demotivated and tired. But strangely I have accomplished quite a few things this morning.

I have been for a long walk int he park - and it included a bit of jogging
I have started working through my OU course again - and this time I feel I am getting a better grasp of it
I have printed off some more flyers - this time with some information about reiki on the back.
I have sent off the forms for insurance for my reiki practice.

I am sitting here feeling horribly hungry. I had porridge and toast for breakfast. I have avoided excessive snacking - but I wouldnt like to bet that my lunch will be that healthy. I am imagining a salad filled wrap of some sort. Tuna possibly?

I was reading tis morning about positive psychology. I need to apply some of that to myself

Big day today

I am trying to get myself into my work routine again even tho at the moment I dont have much. But in 2 hours time I will be seeing my first professional reiki client. One who is expecting to pay me for my services.

one down four to go!!

I have been to the park this morning. Lacking a pedometer I actually counted my steps as I walked round the lake. It is about 850 paces. I am considering extending my exercise by doing more than one circuit of the lake and I want to know how far it is. Being vertically challenged my pace isn't 1 metre. So I guess in metres it is about 800 meaning 3 times round the lake would be about 2.5K - or half the distance of the Race for Life. Now that is something to aim for.

Food yesterday was a disaster. Tony was ill and didnt feel like eating so I didnt bother cooking just for me. I ended up snacking all day. But today has started better. Having to go out (and I will be walking to my client's house) will be good for me on on so many levels!

Tomorrow is another day

Its been a busy few days. I've done stuff in the house, I've done stuff i the garden. I have used the wii fit, I have been out in the park. I have been trying with food - and not always got it right. But I am still trying.

But I have had the most amazing piece of luck.

One of the tings i have been doing is to draw up some flyers to advertise my reiki services. I had already got agreement from the hairdresser to distribute them.

Yesterday I went up to have myself 'beautified' I gave the flyers to Julie (the hairdresser) and she immediately gave one to one of the other customers. And the upshot is I have an appointment with her tomorrow morning.

My first paying reiki client!!!

I was hoping I might be starting a new locum booking tomorrow - but it hasn't worked out.I still may get the booking (at Sandwell) . And AHP tell me budgets are coming through and they think they will have something local for me. And Manie may hear from one of her people . So I am still not too worried about the lack of pharmacy work.

One reiki client isn't much - but its a start!!

So tomorrow is another day - and a hopefully a very special day - the day I take the first steps as a reiki therapist

15th April

We are now half way through the month and there is still no definite news about work. I have just looked at my check list and I haven't done as much as I hoped I would.

I am trying not to feel downhearted -but I do. I had such high hopes. But I have done a lot of spade work and laid some good foundations. I am sure something will turn up. I can't do any more than I have done to find work.

I have done the big things. Paid off the mortgage, joined the reiki federation, told the pharmaceutical society and my pharmacy insurers what I am doing.

Food is still ok ish. My choices are healthy om the whole. I am trying to stick to Paul's rules. I am still having a problem with eating slowly. But I am drinking lots of water and I am doing well with exercise even if I am not doing as much jogging as I would like. Sadly I think my back is not going to let me do much jogging. It may be kinder about it if I lose more weight but I have to concede I am going to be walking most of the race of life.

I think my main emotion at the moment is frustration. I am not depressed or down. I am frustrated that I seem to be making so little progress. But that is a good spur to action I guess.

But I still have a clear goal for what I want to do , and I am moving in the right direction.

Jogging along

I feel I am doing that OK now. My mental kick up the backside yesterday seemed to work. As well as exercise, I started clearing Steve's room and made a start on finding ways to advertise my reiki services.

Food went OK ish. I am still not eating slowly enough and I still feel hungry a lot. Its annoying because I'm not sure why. I am eating what I want and to be honest my diet is healthy. So I don't have cravings. I think what it may be is that I always feel food management is harder when I am not at work. I don't seem to trust myself not to keep eating when I am at home. Its becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. I think its because I dont have a definite structure to the day. Even when we are away on holiday there is some sort of structure to the day.

I have just had an insight. No work = no worth. No worth = not worth bothering about. Not worth bothering about = no incentive to try and manage my weight.

I have a LOT to think about today.