Detox??

So much for my hopes of a good weekend. The cold has got a stranglehold on my and this morning I now have a cough.

Tuning in I feel bunged up and my throat is very uncomfortable. Emotionally I am actually quite positive because I know despite the cold things are moving forward for me. My thought is I need to meditate and visualise to try and get to the bottom of what is causing this cold. When I had reiki on Wednesday I got the word 'detox' in my head. I know that the symptoms of a cold are actually caused by the immune system kicking in so in a way these symptoms are a sign of 'detox' going on - but I am wondering if there is more to it than just a cold. Although I dont buy into all Louise Hay's ideas about the causes of illness I suspect I do need some emotional detox as well.

I am still drinking water. I am still eating slowly. I am not moving my body as much as I would like - but I am ill at the moment - and I am not going to push anything. I walked up the hill to the shops yesterday to collect my prescription and get my hair cut. That was enough moving for me yesterday - and I knew I had done it. But my legs felt fine at the top of the hill - my main problem was just fatigue because I am not as fit as I was so that is a good sign

I am now very close to starting work at the hospice. Next Thursday I am going in to shadow another practitioner - and on Friday I am going in for my induction with Jean - who says they need to get me working sooner rather than later . I am very excited.

I am beginning to feel hungry now - and I have been up nearly two hours so I must get something to eat.

Sound of silence

No radio and no tv this morning - and I am enjoying it.

Yesterday was very busy. Doctors at 9.10, having my feet nibbles by fish at 10.30 , then I went home with Maggie and gave her some reiki before heading over to the college to meet Sally and Clare. I got home just after 2 and went 'bllllrrrgghhhh' cos the cold I was brewing on Thursday came out big time over the day. Luckily (?) Shaz and Karl were also ill so the event at the Witch on Thursday evening got cancelled. I clearly wasn't meant to go despite wanting to so badly. But I really was feeling quite poorly by Thursday evening.

I am still full of cold this morning but I have done some self healing and used the inner smile visualisation as well - something I had almost forgotten about. During the visualisation I smiled especially at my feet and visualised them wrapped up in cotton wool. I have realised I really don't like my feet - which is a shame because I rely on them to carry me. So I need to be nicer to them. The Feet retreat was great - and Maggie and I are going to make it a monthly treat - or try to anyway. I have booked to go back in 2 weeks because I know my feet need it. It was a fantastic experience and my feet felt really smooth and some problems areas of skin already feel much better.

Tuning in this morning I am bunged up and a bit blllrrgghh (good word that!) My mood is still positive because I feel I am taking charge of things now. I feel hungry - and I think I want scrambled eggs on toast. My thought is that I need to focus on getting myself healthy before I can start helping others.

I am going to get my hair cut in a bit - and then I will have a bath and hopefully un bung my nose a bit. Life will be mch easier when I can breathe!!!

I am looking forward to a good weekend

Yesterday was quite busy so I didn't get the chance to post - mainly because I was out by 9.30 so the time I normally send blogging I spent doing breakfast and getting ready.

Tuesday went well. I enjoyed seeing Sally and Clare - and as it turned out John too. Nick gave me a massive hug too which surprised me. I didn't take any of the question paper to show him - but I did write up one of my cases and ask him to cast an eye over it to tell me if I am on the right track.

Tuesday night was the game - and the normal snackfest. And I did snack. But there was a pack of chocolate biscuits contributed by one of the players. Was I really hungry - well I was peckish ish. So I succumbed. But I only has two and I ate both of them slowly - and didn't feel deprived.

Eating slowly is getting easier. Drinking water is automatic to the point where I have realised I miss it when I don't have my glass beside me. I need to think about carrying a bottle with me when I go otu so I can carry on. Yesterday evening we were at Gill and Darrens and I only had about half the volume of liquid I would have drunk if I was at home - and this morning I feel as dry as a bone

Yesterday I went to meet Karen who will be my accountant once Pharmaccounts have filed my return for the the first year of my locum work. I got on well with her - and she gave me a wonderful reiki session which zonked me out. Which is why I didn't post an entry yesterday. In fact I didn't do anything else yesterday apart fromwatch tv, have a bath and go to Wolverhampton

I have realised I have got into a new habit in the mornings. I automatically do a bit of work in the kitchen like loading the dishwasher. Before I would have put it off but now its easier to do it straight away. I started doing it simply as something to do rather than sit down (move your body) and it has had the unexpected effect of making me feel better about the kitchen - and myself at the same time. In fact I feel better about myself on two levels. First I am being active, and second it makes me feel like a better housewife.

Tuning in this morning I feel tired and achey and a bit headachey - but that is almost certainly dehydration. However it could well be the beginnings of a cold as my eyes feel a bit heavy and I am bit sniffly with a dry tingly throat grrrr My mood is calm and motivated. My thoughts are I want to build on the progress I have made so far.

Tonight we are going to the Whispering Witch for the first time in far too long and nothing repeat NOTHING is going to get in the way of that. So today is a chill out day. I may do some work on the portfolio. I will definitely put in some serious meditation and self healing to deal with this cold.

I am hungry now though - which I wasn't when I started this entry - so my next move will be to sort out something to eat.

I must comment on something else tho. I have for some time NOT automatically turned on the radio when I go into the kitchen in the morning. Today I carried it one step further and the tv is still off. I am enjoying the silence.

Climbing the mountain

'So today my plan is to do some serious work on my portfolio
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate'

I did everything except work on the portfolio - and my meditation was to blame. I saw a mountain - and realised I have a mountain to climb in terms of my recovery from surgery, my weight loss and my portfolio. And the clear message I got was 'take it slowly' No-one ever ran up a mountain - and they needed help on the way. The idea of 'slow and steady' was a recurring theme for about an hour yesterday in snippets that found me rather me going looking for them. I got the message. The idea of tuning in and doing what feels right whether it is eating exercise or study feels ....... errrr right!

And I am already reaping the rewards. I did really well both with drinking water - and slow eating. Also another thing that came out of the meditation was that I was able to visualise myself thinner and healthier.

I read other weight loss blogs and two of my regular ones had new posts today. My reaction to them was interesting. JackSh*t was talking about turning it up a notch - a very un Jack like attitude in some ways. 'Fit the the finish' Diane was talking about 'aha' moments when you realised you HAD to do something. I don't really like either bloggers approach to weight loss (portion control, work outs etc) . But they have both lost a lot of weight - in Di's case over 10st - so they can teach me something although my instinct was to reject the ideas they put forward ( Hmm - I appear to be being humble and respectful and living one of the reiki tenets) On thinking about it I have turned it up a notch over the past couple of days measured by the successes I mentioned in the previous paragraph. And yesterday was an 'aha' moment for me although not of the type Diane was thinking about - but then maybe she was hmmmm. So this is I think confirmation I am finally on the right track.

I did manage quite a bit of physical stuff yesterday. Laundry, shopping, walking, dishwasher, some gentle cleaning/tidying and 10 minutes on the wii fit (with a board that stopped working after 122 steps grrrr) But that was enough - I was tired and that was why I didnt do any work on my portfolio.

There is a message there I think .

Today I am going over to the Hypnotherapy college at lunchtime to meet up with a couple of friends who are on this weeks module. I am looking forward to it.

Today - my goal is to have a good and satisfying day. Because moving forward in my goals is satisfying I am not going to specify anything in particular. Watch this space tomorrow to se what I did

Good morning world! I can't say I feel as bouncy as that start implies - but despite feeling tired I do feel quite chipper this morning. Tuning in I feel OK physically although still sleepy and I am hungry. Emotionally I feel positive . My thoughts are focussing on getting some serious work done on my portfolio today.

I have decided that just as listening to my body is the key to getting my weight under control, its also the key to getting my activity levels right. I feel tired and I think I am pushing myself too fast into activity.

Or to put it another combine Beyond Chocolates 'tune in' with Paul's rules.

I did well yesterday with slowing down my eating, and my water intake is still well up on what it used to be. I now have a good focus on physical things. I need to get a better focus on mental and spiritual things.

So today my plan is to do some serious work on my portfolio
Continue with the mindful eating and drinking water
Move my body in some way.
Sort out the laundry
Pick up my glasses from the optician
Meditate

Review of the week

'By the end of the week I want to

Take a walk in the park
Have done at least a third of the questions in the portfolio
Be drinking at least 4 glasses of water a day'

Well I did the first two - and I have started on my portfolio - but I only spent time on it on one day despite putting it on my to do list on at least 3 days.

Yesterday was a bad day. I didn't exercise - apart from doing some shopping. We didn't make the ghost hunt. Tony said he was tired - and to be honest so was I. My legs felt slightly jelly like and wobbly all day. I wouldn't have made it. But I am not sure if Tony really WAS tired - in which case I have been underestimating the effect of all this on him. Or did he realise I was being overoptimistic thinking I would manage and decide the easiest way to stop me going was to say he was tired too rather than try to persuade me. All I now is he was very grumpy and that made me grumpy too. He volunteered to go shopping with me because he was bored and wanted to get out. Either way I have to accept that he is being affected by my problems more than I realised. Something to think about.

But thinking about how I felt when I made my entry last Sunday compared to how I feel now, there has been an improvement. I don't feel as bloated and horrible as I did. My eating and drinking habits have been a lot better this week and I am feeling the benefits. Tuning in apart from the inevitable lower abdo discomfort (mild IBS plus a bit of constipation ) I feel OK. Emotionally I feel positive. OK yesterday was a dip but I am not letting it get me down and drive me into an orgy of comfort eating. Thought is 'I have made a good start now build on that'

I pushed myself too hard in the middle of the week because I wanted to get on the ghost hunt. I was also scared by the figure on the scales.So the lesson is build up gently. Going swimming and doing a long walk on the same day probably wasn't the best idea I have ever had. I managed it but I got overconfident as a result and pushed myself too hard on the days afterwards. So my goal for this week is to build u my wii fit sessions so by this time next week 30 minutes is in one go is possible. Note to self I will meet this goal as long as I can do 30 minutes in one go next Saturday. I don't have to do it today or tomorrow or even the day after.

My eating and drinking have been a lot healthier this week. My water intake is up to 1 litre a day even though I now only take 1 Sandocal a day. (Hooray my Calcium level came up) I started the week keeping a tumbler at my side - I now keep a pint glass at my side - and I am refilling it at least once a day. The main benefit I have seen form this is less snacking (a lot less snacking) and my bladder is better behaved . I am not getting up in the night to go to the loo. My bladder is getting used to holding larger amounts so it is beginning to co-operate with me again. Although I don't subscribe to the idea of detoxing, I know my kidneys will be working more efficiently with all the fluid I am giving them and that can't be a bad thing. However I don't feel bouncing with energy as a result, my skin isn't magically glowing , Water is very healthy - but not magical.

Am I tuning in before I eat anything? I start off well but it still falls apart later in the day. But this has been the pattern with my eating for ages now. I mange well with slow and mindful eating when I get up but it deteriorates throughout the day. I need to practice slow rating this week - so that will be another of my goals but lets set a number. I need to chew all food I put in my mouth at least 10 times.

So lets summarise my goals for this week

To be doing 30 minutes exercise in one go. This can be on the wii fit or outside
To move up from free step to exercises with a higher MET rating
To get outside in the fresh air at least once a day
To chew every mouthful of food at least 10 times
To do at least an hours work on the portfolio every day
To continue with my meditation and self healing

My goals for today are

to do 2 repetitons of step plus or rhythm parade
mow the front lawn
keep up with the drinking and other regular goals

I will get healthier, I will get fitter, I will love myself enogh to do this

My 'to do' list from yesterday was :-

Mow the lawn.It needs it and it will be more movement on top of the 30 minutes I have already done and it gets me out in the fresh air
Meditate and self heal.
Keep up with the water intake
Drink water every time I think i want something to eat and wait 20 minutes before I do eat anything
Do some work on my portfolio
Tune in EVERY time I think I want to eat something.

I didn't mow the lawn. I told Tony I was going to do it - and he did it instead - but I DID use the shears on the triffid by the back get. I also did 5 minutes jogging while Tony was on the wii fit so I had a timer.

I did meditate and self heal
I drank lots of water
I didnt do any work on my portfoilio because the time I planned to spend on the portfolio became ahem errrmm ....shall we say otherwise occupied? The kind of activity that left a smile on my face - and used up some calories too. OK I could have done some work on the portfolio later but Tony had first call on the pc to finish a story he was writing that is needed for today.

Did I tune in every time I ate something?Well I certainly didn't eat thoughtlessly.

We went over to see Darren and co last night - and it was so good to see them. It had been nearly 6 weeks. I managed the drive there and back ok - but I was very glad to leave much earlier than normal.

So I had a busy day yesterday - and today I know I have done it. So I am NOT doing anything heroic today. I am going to drink water - I have a pint glass instead of the tumbler I have been using and it is already half empty.

I have meditated and self healed
I am blogging - and that is part of my support process with my journey to ......wherever I am going. Lighter? Healthier? Fitter?
I suddenly thought of scrambled eggs on toast during my meditation so that is what I have just had for breakfast at 10.30 when I was up at 8.00, I wasn't really hungry before. But I ate it slowly and really enjoyed it. I still feel empty though whihc is worrying. The pint glass is empty as well so I don't think I can be thirsty. But I don't think it is physical hunger either.

I will do some work on my portfolio today - maybe. If I feel like it I will. If I don't I won't beat myself up about it.

I will eat mindfully, keep drinking lots of water, and relax